U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-26-2019, 11:43 AM
 
3,178 posts, read 1,743,894 times
Reputation: 3559

Advertisements

When we spend time apart, at home just doing our OWN thing, or we travel away, we both miss each other and happy to be back together.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-26-2019, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
12,363 posts, read 12,584,592 times
Reputation: 19637
My wife and I get along great, but have our own lives. She has her circle of friends and I have mine, but we each like each other's friends, invite them to our house, have dinners and cookouts with them, and enjoy their company. She hangs with executives, administrators, and business owners. I hang with outdoor types and artists. My oldest and closest friend is a reservation Indian. My wife loves him. He is also an accomplished artist, and we have a couple of his major pieces hanging in our house.

The point is that it's OK to have separate interests and friends. We have coffee together every morning and never lack for a new subject to talk about.

The last month has been tough for both of us. She had a hip replacement 4 weeks ago, and has been pretty stove up. I have been her caretaker, done all the cooking and housework, driven her to every appointment, and been with her 24/7 for a month. It has worn on both of us. She just got approval to go back to driving short distances, and if her hip could handle it she would be dancing. She made dinner last night for the first time, even if it was just nuking a potato, steaming some vegetables and reheating the salisbury steak I made the night before.

In our relationship, too much togetherness is not a good thing. It's not a tragedy, but both of us need more.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2019, 02:59 PM
 
154 posts, read 39,569 times
Reputation: 322
I am with my husband too much, honestly. If he worked or was away 1 day a week, that would be perfect.
He prefers doing things outside, or eating out, or having company.



We get along pretty well
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2019, 03:19 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,869 posts, read 4,820,767 times
Reputation: 28768
Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
I think the point of the article - I don’t know the ethnicity of the author- was that one is responsible for one’s own happiness and fulfillment.

It's a heck of a lot easier finding happiness and fulfillment outside of a failed marriage than it is in it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2019, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,919 posts, read 20,122,532 times
Reputation: 46090
My husband and I are the obnoxious couple who do almost everything together. Why? Because we have a good time hanging out. Neither of us are controlling, and my grandparents died within 6 months of each other after being married for around 70 years.
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 07:20 AM
 
3,178 posts, read 1,743,894 times
Reputation: 3559
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
It's a heck of a lot easier finding happiness and fulfillment outside of a failed marriage than it is in it.
The article merely states it is within our power to find happiness. Happiness does not come with a warranty within or without marriage.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 07:25 AM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
3,957 posts, read 2,899,279 times
Reputation: 6353
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
It's a heck of a lot easier finding happiness and fulfillment outside of a failed marriage than it is in it.
Agree, even though I am staying the course a little longer because of logistics. Stupid reason but splitting now would have a lot of financial impact on more than just us. I get bitter looking back over the last few years after a revelation this year that she essentially made a decision to give up on me a few years ago. I have been faithful (and I am pretty certain she has also) to a relationship that isn't satisfying to either of us and isn't going to improve. I am far less likely to resist temptation knowing what I do now. I will admit I haven't been totally committed for a little while and might have strayed if the opportunity was there. It hasn't been, though there were a couple of times when it might have been if I had followed up on what seemed to be some interest. I never thought I would get to that point earlier in our relationship.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 07:31 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,463 posts, read 6,433,987 times
Reputation: 10034
There is no reason you couldn’t be looking now, don’t wait for the logistics. It’s technically a dead marriage as far as I’m concerned.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Surfside Beach, SC
2,307 posts, read 2,698,975 times
Reputation: 4620
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
My husband and I are the obnoxious couple who do almost everything together. Why? Because we have a good time hanging out. .
That's exactly how we are. My husband and I are best friends.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 09:01 AM
 
432 posts, read 75,332 times
Reputation: 881
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
the people that i personally know that do this are retirement age

Almost every other weekend spent with the "girls'

Trips where the wife doesn't even know where the hubby is going, and she really doesn't care. .
Is this true with all retirement aged people?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top