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Old 06-26-2019, 02:20 PM
 
5,422 posts, read 3,440,673 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post

That is probably it - just not "in love" anymore.

We have been living together for almost 20 years! Weirdly we get along as long as he is not complaining about something

He is always complaining. But we can have good conversations and we do things for each other that the married people i know do not.

I am just amazed at the women around here that have to take care of thier own car issues or yard stuff. I can afford to pay someone or even do it myself. I was trained to change tires and check engines on 5 ton vehicles in the military. But why should I?

He can also depend on me if he needs something. But we are not a "couple".

What is a couple nowadays anyway?
So he (your roommate) has not dated anyone romantically for 20 years (or 5 or 10 years)?

Or spent time with other women (or men) in a 'spending time with way' similar to dating or hooking up or enjoying the company of in a romantic way? just curious.....(if you care to answer)

Last edited by matisse12; 06-26-2019 at 02:31 PM..
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Old 06-26-2019, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,768 posts, read 4,822,990 times
Reputation: 19382
Earlier in the thread OP mentioned she thinks he is no longer batting on the same team. (Seinfeld reference for gay)
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Old 06-26-2019, 02:30 PM
 
5,422 posts, read 3,440,673 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post

Earlier in the thread OP mentioned she thinks he is no longer batting on the same team. (Seinfeld reference for gay)
I saw that, but I was not sure to whom she was referring who is gay.
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Old 06-26-2019, 02:36 PM
 
1,942 posts, read 2,708,224 times
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Because they are smart, and because they value each other and their marriage.
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Old 06-26-2019, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Surfside Beach, SC
2,292 posts, read 2,675,344 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
That is probably it - just not "in love" anymore.

We have been living together for almost 20 years! Weirdly we get along as long as he is not complaining about something

He is always complaining. But we can have good conversations and we do things for each other that the married people i know do not.

I am just amazed at the women around here that have to take care of thier own car issues or yard stuff. I can afford to pay someone or even do it myself. I was trained to change tires and check engines on 5 ton vehicles in the military. But why should I?

He can also depend on me if he needs something. But we are not a "couple".

What is a couple nowadays anyway?
The parts of your post that I bolded are just hilarious to me! So funny! You get along as long as he's not complaining, but he's always complaining! Too funny!!

As far as your thread title - "Why do some couples spend so much time apart?" I have no idea! My husband and I are the couple who want to spend all of our time together. We love and like each other and are each others best friend. There's no one else that we'd rather spend time with more than we want to be around each other. Life is so much more fun to both of us when we are together. We've always been like this and I think that we always will. I can't imagine it any other way. That first feeling of butterflies and excitement about being with each other has never faded for either of us. We have a lot of friends and we do really enjoy spending time with other people and yes, we do things independently, but our first choice is always to be with each other.

Our best friends are the type who do a lot of things separately - the wife, especially, goes on a lot of vacations with her girlfriends and groups of other women. The husband doesn't do that as much as she does. I've never asked them about why they do so many things separately, but since they are coming over tonight to play cards, if the opportunity to ask them comes up without being too intrusive, I'll ask them about it. Now I'm curious!
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Old 06-26-2019, 05:17 PM
 
58 posts, read 9,857 times
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My wife and I have been married 35 years. I trust her and I know she trusts me. And to get to the bottom line, geez, we have seen each other almost every day for the past 35 years. If she wants to go out with her friends, I encourage her. For example, what are a bunch of ladies in their 60s and 70s going to do at the National Button Convention in Portland, OR this August? I am a homebody, so I do not mind staying at home. And more important than love, I like my wife.
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Old 06-26-2019, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,651 posts, read 3,235,973 times
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vrexy and AlexTheCat: You both have what I wanted (maybe even still want). Just never met anyone like that, or if I did, I was blind to it for one dumb reason or another.

I truly envy you both.
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Old 06-26-2019, 06:23 PM
 
6,303 posts, read 5,042,575 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nancymyers2000 View Post
That may very well be true, and I am sure is true in many cases, but still, it's their business how they want to live. I just don't understand the desire to discuss other people's lives like this.
Because i am always curious about what makes peopel tick?

Just like why are serial killers - serial killers - that type of thing

And it happened that this was the second weekend in a row that an acquaintance has spent the weekend with her friends.

So i wondered why -
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Old 06-26-2019, 06:59 PM
 
1,942 posts, read 2,708,224 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vrexy View Post
The parts of your post that I bolded are just hilarious to me! So funny! You get along as long as he's not complaining, but he's always complaining! Too funny!!

As far as your thread title - "Why do some couples spend so much time apart?" I have no idea! My husband and I are the couple who want to spend all of our time together. We love and like each other and are each others best friend. There's no one else that we'd rather spend time with more than we want to be around each other. Life is so much more fun to both of us when we are together. We've always been like this and I think that we always will. I can't imagine it any other way. That first feeling of butterflies and excitement about being with each other has never faded for either of us. We have a lot of friends and we do really enjoy spending time with other people and yes, we do things independently, but our first choice is always to be with each other.

Our best friends are the type who do a lot of things separately - the wife, especially, goes on a lot of vacations with her girlfriends and groups of other women. The husband doesn't do that as much as she does. I've never asked them about why they do so many things separately, but since they are coming over tonight to play cards, if the opportunity to ask them comes up without being too intrusive, I'll ask them about it. Now I'm curious!
I think you are being very truthful, and I am really extremely happy for you and your husband -- I've known one or two couples in my lifetime like you two. However, there are couples who love each other very much and yet like their 'separateness' (and that would be me, ideally). But I've known MANY retired couples who really don't like each other and try to get away from each other as often as possible. I have two neighbors -- who were once married to each other for almost 50 years. Their divorce was final 5 days before their 50th anniversary. She kept the apartment they had together. He moved into another apartment on another floor. And for the past 15 years they have been the best of friends. Seriously. So -- no judgments -- whatever works -- as long as both parties are happy with their arrangement(s).

I'm curious -- because it's important: how long have you and your hubby been married?
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Old 06-26-2019, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Haiku
4,056 posts, read 2,566,050 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nancymyers2000 View Post
That may very well be true, and I am sure is true in many cases, but still, it's their business how they want to live. I just don't understand the desire to discuss other people's lives like this.
Exactly! People change over time and marriages that last figure out how to adjust to changes in life, physical abilities, wants and desires, etc. rather than get divorced.
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