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Old 06-27-2019, 06:45 AM
 
571 posts, read 264,293 times
Reputation: 1018

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after 37 years of marriage and retired we BOTH NEED me time - OMG 24/7/365 is just to much to take - happily i have a wood shop to go to, a lake 3 mile away and friends who like to hunt and shoot

she can go shopping all day and volunteer to her hearts desire
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Old 06-27-2019, 10:33 AM
 
15,043 posts, read 3,983,077 times
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46 years together - or closer to 50 when dating is included......

I think it is the rare human being who can survive 24/7/365 with a partner and not get tired of it. We've had out kids - our businesses, our volunteer work, our grandchildren, our many houses, our family emergencies (always ongoing)......

But, wow, it's certainly hard to spend every waking and sleeping moment together with anyone.
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Old 06-27-2019, 10:48 AM
 
1,823 posts, read 780,633 times
Reputation: 3330
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
Okay - this might not be a retirement question, but the people that i personally know that do this are retirement age

What is up with this?

Almost every other weekend spent with the "girls'

Trips where the wife doesn't even know where the hubby is going, and she really doesn't care.

Now i have a roommate and he gets on my nerves, but we are not in a relationship, so who cares.

But if i was married, no way would i want to have this type of thing going on.

Do people just stay married for convenience? Is that necessary in this day and age?

Just asking....

Well almost every weekend is probably pretty unique but occasional weekends or one night a week or even longer trips with girlfriends is more common than you think. Often in couples one likes to travel but the other doesn't so who do you travel with? Girlfriends or in the case of men, men friends. It also can get quite lonely not having friends other than your husband or wife even if you do love each other. Having friends separate from being a couple also helps when one of you dies. Couple friends tend to drift away but separate friends stick around. Cultivate your friends, even if married.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Raleigh
8,295 posts, read 6,147,869 times
Reputation: 11580
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcandme View Post
DH of 45 years, is my best friend. We do almost everything together.....except golf.
I think that goes to the heart of the issue...People have divergent interests even if they're love and relationship is strong as can be.

IE, wife wants to travel the world; retired hubby has spent a huge part of his career in airports and hotels. Hubby Golfs (fishes, hunts, races...)
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,877 posts, read 25,302,878 times
Reputation: 26334
I think time apart is good for most relationships. You appreciate them more when they come home. Everyone should be able to spend time doing what they want to do. Hopefully you trust your partner enough to be able to assume there will be no misadventures or misconduct but honestly, those opportunities exist at home too!
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Where my bills arrive
8,111 posts, read 9,551,230 times
Reputation: 8026
OP 38 years together and we have always gone our own way for many things. I was in the Navy for 20 years and you get used to that quality time apart, the bobbsey twins were not but there are things we do together. Its all about what relationship works for you.
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Old 06-27-2019, 01:12 PM
 
5,457 posts, read 2,918,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post

Do people just stay married for convenience? Is that necessary in this day and age?

Just asking....
What does it matter to you?

I have been married 38 years. We sort of do our own thing. Neither one of us is looking for a new relationship. Convenience? It just is, we own our house, we own our car, no debt, kids are grown. I am not looking to start over. We are good.
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Old 06-27-2019, 02:10 PM
 
6,166 posts, read 2,849,330 times
Reputation: 15644
Here's the rub to this matter:
Guy bust his butt for 45 years of work. Pays the bills,insurance and family duties are attended to.
One day he is retired. Dreading every moment of retirement. Why? His beloved spouse doesn't like her 45 years of routine interrupted by him being there.
Mind you it's what he thought he was to do. You know...hand over his check and be with the family. How unfortunate he is not welcomed in his own home.


The reality is...I appreciate the person who would do for the family.

If they each have hobbies or social events...all the better. I find that the healthy couples balance out we time and me time.
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Old 06-27-2019, 02:34 PM
 
Location: Dark Side of the Moon
141 posts, read 28,422 times
Reputation: 400
Because he watches Fox News all the time?
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Old 06-27-2019, 04:03 PM
 
213 posts, read 55,578 times
Reputation: 513
I leave the room anytime my wife turns on Madcow on MSNBC, well - actually anything on any "news" channel (aka entertainment/propaganda).

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