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I am not of retirement age yet. I often take short vacations without my spouse. He does too. No, we do not cheat on each other! It's just the type of relationship we have. We are fine with it. We don't have to do everything together.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Have been doing separate vacations / travel / eldercare responsibilities for 40 yrs of marriage + before. (And definitely AFTER! )
Many of my working yrs were 50%+ travel (sometimes with spouse or family, often without either.)
We would meet for many 'honeymoons' (As we still do). Often 16 - 20 hr plane rides (solo) to meet up.
Trips 100% together can get a little CLOSE (8 weeks in a camper van in NZ... or 1 yr RTW). (Bonding? or bashing )
The marriage should last another 40 yrs as long as we can be trusted to have our generous solo times or with siblings and friends.
I am afraid one of us will be gone soon, so we are traveling 80% of the time while still able (mostly together, next month 3x each apart... eldercare / siblings / investment props / special interests.)
No fears. All will work out for the best.
STRETCH your interests / comfort zones / new relationships
And grow CLOSER when together (as a treat! / relaxing / comfortable / caring)
I remember reading, as a newlywed, a letter in Dear Abby where the writer said something like “my heart breaks every time I hear someone complain about their spouse’s snoring - I’d give anything to still have my beloved husband lying beside me, snoring and all”. That letter has stayed with me all these years.
I’ve thought that if I ever married again, I think I’d want separate bedrooms and somewhat separate lives, just to make the adjustment to widowhood a minuscule bit easier. Definitely a different perspective than I had as a young person.
My mother in law was a loud snorer, the marriage lasted 63 years, same bedroom. What do people do if they go on vacation, rent a separate room from the snorer.
They bring earplugs. However long-term earplugs aren't a good solution because they contribute to wax build-up and then you might have to get it cleaned out at the doctor....speaking from experience.
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