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Old 06-28-2019, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,594 posts, read 4,674,480 times
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Response to my spontaneous suggestion that we take off for the weekend...or maybe longer.

The mind boggles. Some people truly live in a mind prison of their own manufacture.
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Old 06-28-2019, 03:10 PM
 
11,963 posts, read 5,102,113 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Response to my spontaneous suggestion that we take off for the weekend...or maybe longer.

The mind boggles. Some people truly live in a mind prison of their own manufacture.
In all fairness, he just got back from a trip to CA. Let him relax for a while and just do nothing if he wants to. You are both retired, there's no hurry to take off to anywhere. You can do it anytime.
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Old 06-28-2019, 03:27 PM
 
2,219 posts, read 1,094,492 times
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I don't see a problem....go on your own if he doesn't want to. He's retired, you're retired...neither one of you has to do anything you don't want. It's not very mind boggling that he has preferences on what he wants to do.
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Old 06-28-2019, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,594 posts, read 4,674,480 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
In all fairness, he just got back from a trip to CA. Let him relax for a while and just do nothing if he wants to. You are both retired, there's no hurry to take off to anywhere. You can do it anytime.
Suggesting a trip was my response to, "It's too hot here and I'm bored!"

But sure, in retirement you can do anything or nothing. He just hasn't figured that out yet. There is a certain rigidity of thinking, possibly common among engineers, that is resistant to change.

We had a couple of guys come by with a truck this morning to pick up a treadmill I'd ordered on Amazon but no local company would install for me. I hated to return it. It's a really nice treadmill. One of the guys, when I told him we were retired, said, "Man, I'd be out there having fun all day every day!"
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Old 06-28-2019, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,650 posts, read 3,235,973 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Suggesting a trip was my response to, "It's too hot here and I'm bored!"

But sure, in retirement you can do anything or nothing. He just hasn't figured that out yet. There is a certain rigidity of thinking, possibly common among engineers, that is resistant to change.
We had a couple of guys come by with a truck this morning to pick up a treadmill I'd ordered on Amazon but no local company would install for me. I hated to return it. It's a really nice treadmill. One of the guys, when I told him we were retired, said, "Man, I'd be out there having fun all day every day!"



Anytime you tell someone (the guy with the truck) that you are retired they more than likely will respond with what "they would do." They don't have a clue. They are just complaining they have to work.

And you guys only just moved there. You have adjusted a lot sooner than he has. He probably hasn't really gotten used to his new home/location and to say nothing about not going to work like he was doing in CA.

From what you have mentioned about him (autism?), his reaction time is not the same as yours. Expecting that to change will just bring you more frustration.
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Old 06-28-2019, 04:31 PM
Status: "I am Blessed." (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Spurs country. "Go, Spurs, Go!"
3,398 posts, read 3,960,584 times
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Did you ask him "why not"? Or say "sure we can"? Interested in his response to one or both of these questions shot back by you.
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Old 06-28-2019, 04:38 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,768 posts, read 4,822,990 times
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Give him a bit more time. He'll get the hang of this retirement thing.
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Old 06-28-2019, 04:39 PM
 
5,419 posts, read 3,440,673 times
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Wanting to escape a new home base, new dwelling, and new city so soon is striking.

I have a friend who is ONLY happy when he is in movement during travel -

the feeling of constant movement - usually from one town or city to another in Europe - the sense of constant movement on plane, train, bus, light rail is the only thing that keeps him from thinking about problems, encountering his own psyche, being forced to find other satisfying things to do besides constant travel -

he cannot be in his home large city for longer than two weeks and he must then make a major trip. Without the constant movement, he feels lost psychologically and depressed and in an unrecognized panic.

(nothing wrong with liking travel and movement - it's the degree)

Last edited by matisse12; 06-28-2019 at 05:03 PM..
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Old 06-28-2019, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
16,334 posts, read 10,324,206 times
Reputation: 28449
and some people (like me) just don't like to travel. gasp. and posted on the retirement forum.


Don't care if it's for a weekend, a week, a season.
There's things to cure boredom to be done locally. even in a small population 2,300 +/- town.


sounds like he's one of us stay-at-homers.

Go alone.
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Old 06-28-2019, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,594 posts, read 4,674,480 times
Reputation: 27774
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar 77 View Post
Did you ask him "why not"? Or say "sure we can"? Interested in his response to one or both of these questions shot back by you.
I said, "We're retired. Retired people can leave whenever they want to." In our case at least it is true, since a cat-sitter is only one text away. We have a house-sitting service on call.

He used to talk occasionally about people who had unusual hobbies like open-ended trips driving around remote areas where towns used to be and searching for artifacts. I reminded him of that and said there was no reason to sit around the house being bored when there are places we haven't seen yet.

Other than fishing a dead bird out of the pool, there's not much to do here today.
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