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Old 07-05-2019, 11:36 AM
 
Location: North State (California)
39,307 posts, read 2,966,634 times
Reputation: 12848

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
I have a lot of fear around doing this. The person has threatened they will run off, jump off a cliff, etc.

I know I need to figure it out.

I did recently read that you can call Uber to take people to the hospital (instead of ambulance). The ambulance is super expensive. I know I should not care about that and if the person was in such extreme distress that they needed an ambulance, I wouldn't have any hesitation - but it is usually "just" that they need to go to ER for less immediate care (don't want to go into details - so serious, but not something that can't wait for minutes, hours, etc. - at least the last few times).

Thank you, one-and-all - it is helping me formulate possible plans.

But once the person is in the hospital, you can help file for medical insurance for low or no income people. That should cover the cost of an ambulance. If the person is acting as crazy as you say, then I doubt an Uber driver will take them. Stop making excuses.

 
Old 07-05-2019, 12:06 PM
 
11,118 posts, read 8,523,617 times
Reputation: 28059
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
I have a lot of fear around doing this. The person has threatened they will run off, jump off a cliff, etc.
This is called emotional manipulation. Don't fall victim to it. You do what you know to be right. If they run off or jump off a cliff, then that's on them. Those are their personal decisions.
 
Old 07-05-2019, 12:24 PM
 
Location: planet earth
4,806 posts, read 1,824,401 times
Reputation: 10665
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
This is called emotional manipulation. Don't fall victim to it. You do what you know to be right. If they run off or jump off a cliff, then that's on them. Those are their personal decisions.
I am manipulated cuz of my fear.

Am working on it.
 
Old 07-05-2019, 12:25 PM
 
Location: North State (California)
39,307 posts, read 2,966,634 times
Reputation: 12848
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
This is called emotional manipulation. Don't fall victim to it. You do what you know to be right. If they run off or jump off a cliff, then that's on them. Those are their personal decisions.
I agree, it is emotional blackmail & you have to o falling for it.

A dr told a family member of mine ( who was facing emotional blackmail,) that if that person kills himself, he would have done it anyhow, no matter what you do.
 
Old 07-05-2019, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,001 posts, read 54,493,040 times
Reputation: 66349
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
The person has been to treatment many times, and is aware of options. I am not facilitating anything. Where did you get that?

I specifically said that they got bad lab results and was reaching out for that reason.
They SAID they got bad lab results.

Again, addicts' lips moving = good chance of lying.

Of course it is possible that they have a real illness. We didn't really believe my addict ex-SIL when she said she had breast cancer in the 1990s, but many years later, it popped up in her brain. I mentioned to a sister that she'd pretended to have cancer once before, and my sister said, no, she really had cancer. Her husband was the billing manager at the hospital where she was treated, and she actually did have breast cancer back then. I was shocked to learn that it was true.

But did you automatically believe it? That's the danger. You could be in a position where you are being groomed for a setup for funds or other help. Addicts are great at this. They see your desire to help them as a weakness and know how to exploit it.
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Old 07-05-2019, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,001 posts, read 54,493,040 times
Reputation: 66349
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
I am manipulated cuz of my fear.

Am working on it.
Fear of...what exactly?

That the person will die because you didn't help them and that somehow it will be your fault?

Think about this: There is grandiosity involved in that type of thinking. That you have some kind of power that you don't really possess.

Not judging, mind you, just have been there, and it was pointed out to me.
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Old 07-05-2019, 12:42 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,833 posts, read 14,341,548 times
Reputation: 30678
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMSRetired View Post
If they show up at your door in distress you call 911, not take them in, fix them up and send them back out.

Calling 911 IS helping someone in distress.
Good rec. Calling 911 is a concrete action OP can take, especially if person is in distress.
 
Old 07-05-2019, 12:45 PM
 
Location: planet earth
4,806 posts, read 1,824,401 times
Reputation: 10665
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
They SAID they got bad lab results.

Again, addicts' lips moving = good chance of lying.

Of course it is possible that they have a real illness. We didn't really believe my addict ex-SIL when she said she had breast cancer in the 1990s, but many years later, it popped up in her brain. I mentioned to a sister that she'd pretended to have cancer once before, and my sister said, no, she really had cancer. Her husband was the billing manager at the hospital where she was treated, and she actually did have breast cancer back then. I was shocked to learn that it was true.

But did you automatically believe it? That's the danger. You could be in a position where you are being groomed for a setup for funds or other help. Addicts are great at this. They see your desire to help them as a weakness and know how to exploit it.
This seems to be one of my character defects. I tend to believe this person. I guess it's denial. The thing about denial is you don't know when you're in it.
 
Old 07-05-2019, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,833 posts, read 14,341,548 times
Reputation: 30678
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
This is called emotional manipulation. Don't fall victim to it. You do what you know to be right. If they run off or jump off a cliff, then that's on them. Those are their personal decisions.
This. You cannot let yourself be manipulated. Do what you have to do to protect yourself. You are the only advocate you have for yourself.

Please keep this in the forefront of your thinking.
 
Old 07-05-2019, 12:48 PM
 
Location: planet earth
4,806 posts, read 1,824,401 times
Reputation: 10665
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Fear of...what exactly?

That the person will die because you didn't help them and that somehow it will be your fault?

Think about this: There is grandiosity involved in that type of thinking. That you have some kind of power that you don't really possess.

Not judging, mind you, just have been there, and it was pointed out to me.
I've done a lot of work around this. I have a God-complex around this person - I helped raise them and had to protect them from all kinds of things (and wasn't able to) - but I was able to make a positive impact enough times - and helped to "save their life" numerous times . . . so somehow I internalized that.

In the younger years I took over responsibility and then "felt responsible." I am trying to undo that now.
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