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Old 07-04-2019, 02:02 PM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,042,575 times
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First off - where did that expectation of taking care of people because you are a female come from?

There is no such thing.

 
Old 07-04-2019, 02:02 PM
 
Location: SWFL
22,850 posts, read 19,282,133 times
Reputation: 21211
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Edited to add: It is very rude to call people "junkies," and in this case, that specific term does not apply.
Now I have heard it all!!! Rude to call a junkie a junkie!! "Substance abuser" so we don't hurt their widdle feelings! Give me a break.
 
Old 07-04-2019, 02:18 PM
 
Location: SoCal
13,188 posts, read 6,301,958 times
Reputation: 9808
I know a family who said no to their daughter because the father’s health was already in decline. They did not have any fall out. Mom had already died a while back. If you can’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of others.
 
Old 07-04-2019, 02:47 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,527 posts, read 39,903,732 times
Reputation: 23634
Some have wayward kids...
Some people have wayward parents...

After re-raising my very ungrateful parents.... I trust my kids and grands will 'mind-their-manners' and not boomerang back home. If they drag back in, there will be a price for all.
 
Old 07-04-2019, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
12,223 posts, read 12,483,575 times
Reputation: 19364
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
First off - where did that expectation of taking care of people because you are a female come from?

There is no such thing.
Yeah, there is. I have seen plenty of self-destructive idiots run back to mommy, because they knew Dad would hand them a 10-spot and tell them to get lost. There's a lot of social pressure on women to be nurturing, even when it is self-destructive.
 
Old 07-04-2019, 02:52 PM
 
Location: planet earth
4,812 posts, read 1,824,401 times
Reputation: 10665
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
First off - where did that expectation of taking care of people because you are a female come from?

There is no such thing.
Really?

Check stats - a very high percentage of caregivers are female.

Then check the stats on the rate of death for caregivers. It's higher than for the people they are caring for.

And if you don't "believe" statistics, take a look around and see who is caring for who.

Wow is all I can say of your comment without being rude.

https://www.caregiver.org/women-and-...ts-and-figures

https://academic.oup.com/psychsocger.../2/309/3097902
 
Old 07-04-2019, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,596 posts, read 4,674,480 times
Reputation: 27789
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
Now I have heard it all!!! Rude to call a junkie a junkie!! "Substance abuser" so we don't hurt their widdle feelings! Give me a break.

Yeah, the OP probably thinks "junkie" denotes "IV drug user". But the definition is broader than that.
 
Old 07-04-2019, 03:00 PM
 
Location: planet earth
4,812 posts, read 1,824,401 times
Reputation: 10665
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Yeah, the OP probably thinks "junkie" denotes "IV drug user". But the definition is broader than that.
The word "junkie" refers to specific kinds of addicts:

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=junkie

And it is a rude, degrading term.

I guess if you don't understand addiction, you might throw that term around willy-nilly.

This is someone I love, as I have said - so knowing that and using such a term is mean-spirited, and factually incorrect.
 
Old 07-04-2019, 03:12 PM
 
11,968 posts, read 5,102,113 times
Reputation: 18703
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
The word "junkie" refers to specific kinds of addicts:

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=junkie

And it is a rude, degrading term.

I guess if you don't understand addiction, you might throw that term around willy-nilly.

This is someone I love, as I have said - so knowing that and using such a term is mean-spirited, and factually incorrect.
Stop, just stop. Your love isn't going to save him. Your love will be what ends up bringing you down the inevitable spiral. He will drag you down with him until there is nothing left. I've been there. Stop this before it's too late. Look away and do not give in no matter how much it hurts right now. The only thing that can save both of you is growing a back bone.
The fact that you're so worried about hurting his feelings by needing to distinguish what is and isn't a polite word to call his addiction says you are probably already too far gone.
 
Old 07-04-2019, 03:28 PM
 
Location: planet earth
4,812 posts, read 1,824,401 times
Reputation: 10665
Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
Stop, just stop. Your love isn't going to save him. Your love will be what ends up bringing you down the inevitable spiral. He will drag you down with him until there is nothing left. I've been there. Stop this before it's too late. Look away and do not give in no matter how much it hurts right now. The only thing that can save both of you is growing a back bone.
The fact that you're so worried about hurting his feelings by needing to distinguish what is and isn't a polite word to call his addiction says you are probably already too far gone.
Um, you don't know me. I know "my love isn't going to save him."

I am talking about specific challenges.

No need to insult someone you do not know.
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