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Old 07-06-2019, 02:01 PM
 
11 posts, read 2,996 times
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I believe this is the proper place for this question since it is directly related to post retirement and the likely outcome of DW surviving beyond my lifetime. But, I'm new here.

Background...I'm 62 in 10 days. DW is 59. I've always taken care of investing, both hers and mine. However, periodically throughout our 42 plus years of marriage, I've turned over bill paying to her and it has always ended up with me taking that responsibility back and somewhat losing my mind over her lack of concern regarding paying bills in a timely manner.

Both myself and our financial adviser try to keep her involved and up to speed on what and why we are doing what we are doing regarding investments in my accounts, our accounts and her accounts.

When she has been given control over our day to day finances, she has an innate ability to give money to our kids, grand-kids, animal shelters, or whomever asks for a handout. She has never wasted money on herself.

I had to take control (Power of Attorney) over my Mother's accounts when she started giving out her banking information to anyone who called and my sister raided $150K from her accounts. I don't want this to happen with DW after I'm gone, but I can't get it out of my mind.

She knows she needs to learn these things, but going from knowing to doing...how do we get there?

Side Note: Giving to our family and other charities does not bother me, but it needs to be done within reason.

How do I get her to follow financial discipline?

Thanks for reading this long winded explanation of my concerns,

Mike
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Old 07-06-2019, 02:19 PM
 
2,220 posts, read 1,094,492 times
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My husband is the same way. Easiest thing is to keep the purse strings to myself.
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Old 07-06-2019, 02:19 PM
 
249 posts, read 64,766 times
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Sounds like she has no clue how to handle money which is sad at her age. You better hope you outlive her.
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Old 07-06-2019, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,355 posts, read 3,689,532 times
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Mike it sounds like you can not. The answer is probably a trust that pays the bills and invest the funds with her as the beneficiary. You can look toward Vanguard, Schwab and Fidelity for some info on trusts. The trust would start at your death. You would probably put the assets into the trust now, (revocable trust) with you as the trustee and at your death the trust becomes irrevocable and handles your wife's expenses. You need to discuss with an estate planning attorney who know trusts if you go this route.


You could start her back on bill paying but have two signatures required on the checking account. You could also arrange to have enough money transferred to the account for the bills and this might help teach her to pay attention to the balance. I think I would give this a try as you could have another 30 or 40 years.


You could use a bank or brokerage bill paying account and in most cases you might be able to have the bills sent to the bill paying account and actually paid automatically. Look at the three brokerage accounts I mentioned above.


Never done this but you might look for a local booking service, maybe a CAP's office, that could handle the account and bill payments for a monthly fee.
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Old 07-06-2019, 02:28 PM
 
1,226 posts, read 1,258,081 times
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I think I would talk to an Eldercare attorney to figure out what kind of trust I could set up that would pay the bills and give her a monthly stipend, or I would talk to my most responsible child to see if they would be willing to take on this responsibility.
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Old 07-06-2019, 02:32 PM
 
11 posts, read 2,996 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
Sounds like she has no clue how to handle money which is sad at her age. You better hope you outlive her.
LOL...I may not want to.

She is intelligent. Surgical Technician, but her eyes glass over when talking about money.
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Old 07-06-2019, 02:33 PM
 
71,457 posts, read 71,629,249 times
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Only an irrevocable trust would stop it and a trustee controls the purse strings
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Old 07-06-2019, 02:34 PM
 
11 posts, read 2,996 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by rjm1cc View Post
Mike it sounds like you can not. The answer is probably a trust that pays the bills and invest the funds with her as the beneficiary. You can look toward Vanguard, Schwab and Fidelity for some info on trusts. The trust would start at your death. You would probably put the assets into the trust now, (revocable trust) with you as the trustee and at your death the trust becomes irrevocable and handles your wife's expenses. You need to discuss with an estate planning attorney who know trusts if you go this route.


You could start her back on bill paying but have two signatures required on the checking account. You could also arrange to have enough money transferred to the account for the bills and this might help teach her to pay attention to the balance. I think I would give this a try as you could have another 30 or 40 years.


You could use a bank or brokerage bill paying account and in most cases you might be able to have the bills sent to the bill paying account and actually paid automatically. Look at the three brokerage accounts I mentioned above.


Never done this but you might look for a local booking service, maybe a CAP's office, that could handle the account and bill payments for a monthly fee.
Thank You...this may be exactly what I'm looking for!
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Old 07-06-2019, 02:37 PM
 
11 posts, read 2,996 times
Reputation: 43
LookingatFL and Mathjack,

Thanks also, I believe joining here today was a great financial decision for my dear wife!
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Old 07-06-2019, 03:05 PM
 
11 posts, read 2,996 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by oldgardener View Post
My husband is the same way. Easiest thing is to keep the purse strings to myself.
I want to thank you for your response, but I don't have a concern as long as I'm alive and mentally competent. I have little reason to believe I will outlive my wife.
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