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Good Morning, Everyone. I think I'm very sorry I started this topic. Sure wish I could delete it. The article is good -- most of the posts, not so much. Everyone have a good day.
Closeness like that usually ends up blowing families up ...
My generation saw that with many of our parents as one sibling stepped up to the plate and all the others stepped back ...so one sibling took a financial , social , mental hit usually and the others got off Scott free . Many families were torn apart over the resentment.
If you had a spouse that is part of this that rarely ended well either ....so taking parents in is not as popular as it once was.
We would avoid it at all cost when it came to our kids
Sometimes people tolerate granny in the back bedroom in order to preserve her estate and their inheritance in lieu of dumping her in "the home."
I had a friend who ended up with his mother-in-law in the back bedroom for 3 months at a time. Granny was shuttled among her daughters until she finally expired.
I don't recommend that plan, but it's one way people adapt.
Sometimes people tolerate granny in the back bedroom in order to preserve her estate and their inheritance in lieu of dumping her in "the home."
I had a friend who ended up with his mother-in-law in the back bedroom for 3 months at a time. Granny was shuttled among her daughters until she finally expired.
I don't recommend that plan, but it's one way people adapt.
Key word is SOMETIMES .....it really throws a hardship on those that do take parents in and in most cases the stress it creates and resentment just ends badly.
So for us it would be almost unthinkable to do to our kids
Key word is SOMETIMES .....it really throws a hardship on those that do take parents in and in most cases the stress it creates and resentment just ends badly.
So for us it would be almost unthinkable to do to our kids
Yup.
But the carrot was that inheritance. It must have been a lot. I noticed that my friend soon bought 2 new cars shortly after granny expired.
Social Security doesn't require the 1.5 Million with "Mood Disorders" to be involved in any treatment program, but they should. They should be required to attend weekly treatment sessions, and if they fail to do so, they need to be terminated.”
I'm assuming that means the benefits need to be terminated, not the person.
My wife plans on working to full retirement age, 67. Many of her co-workers that are healthy and near full retirement age don't plan to leave anytime soon. They get paid well, have plenty of vacation time, and more importantly enjoy many of the people they work with. If I had worked in a similar environment I wouldn't have retired early.
I have several friends who got divorced, after years of staying home raising kids, and were hit with the combination of low earning power and some poor financial decisions. They cling to the vague notion that they will "work forever." That is unlikely to be possible and I do worry about what the future holds for them.
Closeness like that usually ends up blowing families up ...
My generation saw that with many of our parents as one sibling stepped up to the plate and all the others stepped back ...so one sibling took a financial , social , mental hit usually and the others got off Scott free . Many families were torn apart over the resentment.
If you had a spouse that is part of this that rarely ended well either ....so taking parents in is not as popular as it once was.
We would avoid it at all cost when it came to our kids
I don't know Mathjak, I think that might be sort of cultural. I grew up in a multi generational household and just about everyone I know is taking some type of care of an elderly parent. For AA putting our parents in nursing homes was simply not done.
Every single one of my friends and we are all sliding into 60 ville are in some way supporting an elderly parent or inlaw. I'm assisting my mother in law and I'm a widow, but no way no how could I imagine simply letting her flounder.
now personally I'm amazed at how easily folks on the c-d simply walk away from family issues. sure there are always fights and issues, lol I fought with my siblings waay before my parents needed help.
My cousin in harlem is currently full time care giver for my aunt. sure it's has challenges but at least from my perspective it doesn't seem to be destroying her marriage. I go up whenever I can to give her a break and I call to make sure she's not at the end of her rope. now it's a bit easy because they don't have children.
My baby brother looked after my dad until the day he died, we would have never put him in a home BUT I will say he was a retired NYC cop and retired military. lol dude made more money in retirement than he did working so he had crazy good benefits.
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