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Old 07-08-2019, 10:28 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,622 posts, read 39,986,663 times
Reputation: 23775

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A wife with a J-O-B

Double income

Why would they not have 'retired' 20 yrs ago?

There is no reason he is "STUCK" due to HER job, he can adventure off and she would likely be overjoyed to have him gone for short or LONG spells! (Has he asked?)

He thinks the JOB is a reason... wait for grandkids / extended family / eldercare ....

Gotta work this stuff out.

Retire early, retire often.
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Old 07-08-2019, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Western Colorado
11,096 posts, read 12,481,863 times
Reputation: 26127
Mistake #1 he married her.
Mistake #2 see above.
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Old 07-08-2019, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Rust'n in Tustin
2,221 posts, read 2,400,308 times
Reputation: 3999
Quote:
Originally Posted by jim9251 View Post
Mistake #1 he married her.
Mistake #2 see above.
I actually know her, she's nice. She's his younger sister's friend. When we were in high school she was a little kid.
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Old 07-08-2019, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Herndon, VA
2,086 posts, read 2,111,259 times
Reputation: 7392
My wife is 10 years younger than me, and she can work anywhere. Her job does not keep her to any one location. I'll retire, we'll move South more than likely, and she can work for however long she wants.
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Old 07-08-2019, 10:53 AM
 
1,536 posts, read 1,442,365 times
Reputation: 11204
Maybe he just needs to reevaluate his benchmark for misery.


Is he in good health? Is the location he lives in safe? Does he have access to clean water, medical care, safe food, intact roads, reliable transportation? Is the location he lives in currently under attack, on fire, under water, infested by venomous snakes, or under the control of violent criminals?


Those of us who have never experienced real hardship or tragedy (and I count myself in that demographic) sometimes need to step back and look from a different perspective at whatever it is we think is making us unhappy.


Unless his wife keeps him locked in a cage in the basement, he might be able to get out and find something to do that would make him less unhappy. Or he could just choose not to be miserable about something that wasn't actually an act of malice or really even anyone's "fault." Is he under the impression that his wife has deliberately remained 10 years younger simply to spite him?
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Old 07-08-2019, 10:55 AM
Status: "Loving life, wife and job!" (set 12 days ago)
 
Location: USA
1,000 posts, read 388,231 times
Reputation: 2720
Some people just like to complain. I occasionally complain about them.
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Old 07-08-2019, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Rust'n in Tustin
2,221 posts, read 2,400,308 times
Reputation: 3999
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaofan View Post
Maybe he just needs to reevaluate his benchmark for misery.


Is he in good health? Is the location he lives in safe? Does he have access to clean water, medical care, safe food, intact roads, reliable transportation? Is the location he lives in currently under attack, on fire, under water, infested by venomous snakes, or under the control of violent criminals?


Those of us who have never experienced real hardship or tragedy (and I count myself in that demographic) sometimes need to step back and look from a different perspective at whatever it is we think is making us unhappy.


Unless his wife keeps him locked in a cage in the basement, he might be able to get out and find something to do that would make him less unhappy. Or he could just choose not to be miserable about something that wasn't actually an act of malice or really even anyone's "fault." Is he under the impression that his wife has deliberately remained 10 years younger simply to spite him?
You've obviously never lived in the Midwest.

People in Northern Illinois would be happier in a Russian Gulag
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Old 07-08-2019, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
9,638 posts, read 10,348,727 times
Reputation: 13445
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Isn't that the case with a lot of couples?
It's not like they moved there for her job after he retired is it? Not sure what point you're trying to make.
Marriage is bad? Marrying someone not your own age is bad? Working stiffs live where the job is?
I would think such disagreements are normal with regards to couples, regardless of age difference.

I have a quite a while to go to retirement, but I've already mentioned a few areas i'd like to move to while the wife has said "But I don't want to leave the kids and grandkids".
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Old 07-08-2019, 11:58 AM
Status: "Support the Mining Law of 1872" (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Cody, WY
9,583 posts, read 10,933,686 times
Reputation: 19225
Quote:
Originally Posted by ysr_racer View Post
You've obviously never lived in the Midwest.

People in Northern Illinois would be happier in a Russian Gulag
Has he asked you what he should do? If he has not, leave him alone about this.
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Old 07-08-2019, 12:12 PM
 
1,536 posts, read 1,442,365 times
Reputation: 11204
Has it always been her job that kept them in the Midwest? What about his job? if he was happy enough living in the Midwest to further his own career but now resents having to be there because of his wife's, that might paint a different picture of his "martyrdom."


In any event, the choice to be happy or miserable is still his.
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