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Old 07-26-2019, 11:05 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,613 posts, read 14,394,633 times
Reputation: 23677

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Congratulations on your superiority and perfection.
How about it basically boils down to what each person consider betrayal? What some consider betrayal others don't. Which is why Germaine asked for clarification of what was considered betrayal for the purposes of this thread.
I've had people lie, cheat, even steal from me, but only one instance that things reached a level of real betrayal, according to my interpretation of being betrayed.

 
Old 07-26-2019, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,706 posts, read 3,274,740 times
Reputation: 12095
In this world, there are people who are desperate for attention. If you feel you are being betrayed a lot and then have to try to see if you "win" because you have been betrayed the most..... it's not hard to figure out where the real problem lies.

I think the OP would benefit from some counseling. There is a heck of a lot more to life to enjoy.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 11:15 AM
 
Location: New Mexico
6,675 posts, read 3,717,510 times
Reputation: 12560
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Well, clearly someone has a chip on their shoulder LOL.
With 40+ posts on this thread, they can't seem to let things go.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,767 posts, read 17,704,665 times
Reputation: 27816
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Have I had someone to something that negatively impacted me? Yes. A non-insured driver ran into me. Completely her fault, too. Is that a "betrayal"?? Hardly. Have had a-hole men grab me - I punched one of them, too. Are those "betrayals"?? No.

Being betrayed does not mean one has never had a bad experience.

I've never had my trust in someone, violated. I had my car broken into in NYC and a very expensive camera stolen. Was that a betrayal? Certainly not.

Perhaps I am less trusting than some others? I dunno. I don't think so but maybe that is it.
I take "betrayal" as having been on good terms with someone and having that relationship thrown under the bus, then the bus runs over it. That type of thing.

People who know each other for any decent length of time are going to have disagreements. Some may have falling outs, but "betrayal" is really a notch above the others IMO.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 12:00 PM
 
26,106 posts, read 33,121,694 times
Reputation: 32424
I retract my earlier statements. I absolutely HAVE had a betrayal!! A horrible horrible time, I was very hurt for a very long time.

I clearly blocked it from my mind - I forgave him, but it took a very very long time. It was my nephew - he had asked to stay with me a few days to do some work around the house, to earn money. I had no idea he had an opioid addiction - and he stole treasured jewelry from me and his grandmother, and his mom too. Pawned the stuff, and even waved the money in my face after he got it (I thought he had pawned some other of his own things) and I found out about it too late to get the items back. It was probably as bad as betrayal gets. It was 5 years ago. Don't even like thinking about - it was that difficult a time.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 12:00 PM
 
Location: planet earth
5,016 posts, read 1,906,418 times
Reputation: 11059
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
How about it basically boils down to what each person consider betrayal? What some consider betrayal others don't. Which is why Germaine asked for clarification of what was considered betrayal for the purposes of this thread.
I've had people lie, cheat, even steal from me, but only one instance that things reached a level of real betrayal, according to my interpretation of being betrayed.
When someone betrays you, the relationship CANNOT continue, as they have lost your trust - so if, say, your best friend goes behind your back and has sex with your husband, you cannot continue that relationship - or if you find out that a family member you love has been disparaging you behind your back - that causes a little hiccup in the way you might relate to that person in the future - or if a business person abandons a transaction he initiated in the middle of it and leaves you high and dry, that causes a little problem (especially since there are third parties involved), etc., etc.

A betrayal is an act that a formerly trusted party does that renders the relationship defunct due to their hostile actions.

If you have had people "lie, cheat, and steal" from you, and you're good with that, then your standards for friendship or relationship are truly low - so low you must be desperate in some way. No self-respecting person could continue on like nothing has happened under those circumstances. To me, it indicates really low self-esteem and spinelessness to the point of groveling for a relationship.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,767 posts, read 17,704,665 times
Reputation: 27816
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
When someone betrays you, the relationship CANNOT continue, as they have lost your trust - so if, say, your best friend goes behind your back and has sex with your husband, you cannot continue that relationship - or if you find out that a family member you love has been disparaging you behind your back - that causes a little hiccup in the way you might relate to that person in the future - or if a business person abandons a transaction he initiated in the middle of it and leaves you high and dry, that causes a little problem (especially since there are third parties involved), etc., etc.

A betrayal is an act that a formerly trusted party does that renders the relationship defunct due to their hostile actions.

If you have had people "lie, cheat, and steal" from you, and you're good with that, then your standards for friendship or relationship are truly low - so low you must be desperate in some way. No self-respecting person could continue on like nothing has happened under those circumstances. To me, it indicates really low self-esteem and spinelessness to the point of groveling for a relationship.
Sometimes we don't have a choice.

I've felt betrayed by coworkers in the past, but sort of finding another job, I still had to deal with them.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 12:03 PM
 
Location: planet earth
5,016 posts, read 1,906,418 times
Reputation: 11059
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I retract my earlier statements. I absolutely HAVE had a betrayal!! A horrible horrible time, I was very hurt for a very long time.

I clearly blocked it from my mind - I forgave him, but it took a very very long time. It was my nephew - he had asked to stay with me a few days to do some work around the house, to earn money. I had no idea he had an opioid addiction - and he stole treasured jewelry from me and his grandmother, and his mom too. Pawned the stuff, and even waved the money in my face after he got it (I thought he had pawned some other of his own things) and I found out about it too late to get the items back. It was probably as bad as betrayal gets. It was 5 years ago. Don't even like thinking about - it was that difficult a time.
That's definitely a betrayal and that is the level of betrayal I am referring to - something you cannot come back from - something so egregious you cannot overlook it and continue the relationship.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 12:12 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,613 posts, read 14,394,633 times
Reputation: 23677
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
When someone betrays you, the relationship CANNOT continue, as they have lost your trust - so if, say, your best friend goes behind your back and has sex with your husband, you cannot continue that relationship - or if you find out that a family member you love has been disparaging you behind your back - that causes a little hiccup in the way you might relate to that person in the future - or if a business person abandons a transaction he initiated in the middle of it and leaves you high and dry, that causes a little problem (especially since there are third parties involved), etc., etc.

A betrayal is an act that a formerly trusted party does that renders the relationship defunct due to their hostile actions.

If you have had people "lie, cheat, and steal" from you, and you're good with that, then your standards for friendship or relationship are truly low - so low you must be desperate in some way. No self-respecting person could continue on like nothing has happened under those circumstances. To me, it indicates really low self-esteem and spinelessness to the point of groveling for a relationship.
I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of the dirty details, but sometimes people do awful things for their own reasons, reasons that have nothing to do with me personally, so I ignore or I forgive and move on.
I really don't understand your need to try to belittle people who don't agree with you. Your posting history is rife with this venom. For someone who apparently prides themselves on self reflection I think you need to spend a lot more time trying to figure out why this somehow makes you feel better about yourself. I find it sad and pathetic.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 12:49 PM
 
8,789 posts, read 10,889,499 times
Reputation: 12838
Less times than people who have done good things. It's just that the others stick out more. I look at those people as mentally disturbed or dysfunctional types. More a statement of them than you. Detach and let go of it. Look for the good and you'll find more of it.
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