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Old 07-24-2019, 04:09 AM
72,164 posts, read 72,121,987 times
Reputation: 49667


is this a retirement issue really or just personal relationships ? a lot of these subjects simply have an age thrown on but are not really retirement issues so to speak .

Old 07-24-2019, 04:32 AM
Location: Central NY
4,706 posts, read 3,274,740 times
Reputation: 12095
^^^^^^^^^ I thought the same thing. It reminds me a bit of the recent run of questions with no real connection to retirement.
Old 07-24-2019, 05:20 AM
1,115 posts, read 1,826,925 times
Reputation: 4800
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
I am astounded every time someone asks for definitions of common words. I am pretty sure you know what the word means. If, by some strange fluke, you don't (and that would be REALLY WEIRD), then you can always google the dictionary definitions.

Here is more of a discussion of examples of betrayal:

Once again you start a thread wanting details about intimate issues in someoneís life and when someone questions you or asks for clairification, you bite back. Why? You put this out there. Would it kill you to give an example? You obviously have something in mind from your own life. And if youíre reluctant to post specifics, why do you think others would?
Old 07-24-2019, 05:36 AM
6,351 posts, read 4,782,330 times
Reputation: 13043
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
is this a retirement issue really or just personal relationships ? a lot of these subjects simply have an age thrown on but are not really retirement issues so to speak .
Certainly not a retirement issue. Instead we seem to have some lonely hearts who want to turn this into a chat forum.
Old 07-24-2019, 05:38 AM
12,122 posts, read 5,199,282 times
Reputation: 19222
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Yes, I am extra sensitive AND I have had a lot of legitimate betrayals! Family, friends, etc., etc.
As someone else mentioned, try posting to relationships forum with some of these personal questions you post about relationships. You'll probably get lots of responses from people of all ages which you'll probably find much more interesting since you seem to like threads about personal drama
How ironic you chose the name "Nobodysbusiness" yet you post thread after thread asking about personal drama.

Last edited by marino760; 07-24-2019 at 06:44 AM..
Old 07-24-2019, 05:41 AM
Location: Loudon, TN
5,866 posts, read 4,880,982 times
Reputation: 19715
I think some people place their trust in the wrong people and then, when those people turn out not to be trustworthy, the first person cries "betrayal". I don't think that's a betrayal. That's not the explicit fault of the "betrayer". One has to be circumspect about where they place trust in the first place and not be naive about it and then get their feelings hurt.

For example, if you believe a person you've befriended is your best friend because you spend more of your time with them than any other, and then you find out that that person has lots of friends of which you are just one, and not even a very close friend in THEIR view, that's not a betrayal. It's more of a miscommunication. And when they have a party and forget to invite you, or even don't invite you on purpose for some reason, again, still not a betrayal. Now if they then start having an affair with your husband...THAT'S a betrayal. Or if they only befriended you in the first place so they could get access to your music producer cousin, THAT could be considered a betrayal.

So I think even though we all KNOW what a betrayal is, there are degrees and slight variations of what is and isn't a betrayal, and I think that people can legitimately disagree on what it is and isn't. And I think some people are much more sensitive and what most of us would consider a minor slight, to the sensitive person is a major betrayal.

I'm 60, I don't get all into the drama and angst of worrying about anyone "betraying me". I just have come to understand over time that people all view the world, and their relationships in it, differently. And when someone doesn't treat me the way I feel is right, I just walk away. I may give them a very frank conversation about their actions, but I'm not going to be feeling all betrayed and letting it affect me going forward. Life is too short at this point in my life to waste my time on things that happened in the past. Take the lesson and move on.

Last edited by TheShadow; 07-24-2019 at 05:54 AM..
Old 07-24-2019, 05:55 AM
12,839 posts, read 14,149,945 times
Reputation: 35131
The amount of snarking posts surprises me....nevertheless:

Being an octogenarian I have looked back on my life a fair number of times in later years. What is very marked is the amount of disconnect I have from past events, thus the number of betrayals - which can run a rather large gamut of seriousness in my opinion - amount to only three. People are often undependable and self-serving, particularly when we are younger - including myself certainly, so I have probably forgotten betrayals that proved to be small potatoes in the overall run of things.

Two involved roommates who were dishonest about mutual financial obligations to a degree that was threatening to my welfare.

The other was my mother. She was a woman who never got beyond age thirteen in her sense of mutual obligation. She sexual abused me, she lied as an adult whenever it was to her advantage, she showed no compassion for friends or neighbors who suffered widowhood or serious heath problems, and was bereft of gratitude for anything. So, aside from myself, adult friends found themselves abandoned by her in bad times after years of friendship. certainly a major betrayal of someone.
Old 07-24-2019, 06:02 AM
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,228 posts, read 45,800,974 times
Reputation: 61979
Iíve been lucky, I guess. I was blindsided by my first husband, but I donít think of it as a betrayal. It was more like he ripped off a bandaid that needed ripping.

A friend of mine betrayed me several times, by repeating things said in confidence. I still am in touch with her, but at arms length.

I think if someone is betrayed, over and over, they must not be a very good judge of character, and let too many people into their circle than they should.
Old 07-24-2019, 06:05 AM
Location: Colorado Springs
4,879 posts, read 4,995,344 times
Reputation: 17404
Originally Posted by cebuan View Post
When I order a Whopper, it never looks like the picture on the menu. How seriously does a betrayal have to impact my life order to count?
Yup, and those frozen dinners never look like the picture.
Old 07-24-2019, 06:12 AM
Location: the Old Dominion
300 posts, read 152,428 times
Reputation: 1443
Default ...sos...sos...sos...

Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
What do you mean by "betrayal"? Please give a few examples.
Sometimes a formal (dictionary) definition is not enough. Germaine2626 could be looking for something on an official level or more to the personal. This is your thread and Germaine is asking for you to clarify your point. Fair enough on an open forum.
Nobodysbusiness, in my recent readings of your posts, Germaine's question is not only plausible, but something I immediately expected from anyone. Therefore, Germaine's post is not weird.
Ten to twenty people betraying you????? I really think you need to get some professional counseling. And I mean that in a kindly way.

- Johnny Boy
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