U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 07-24-2019, 10:22 AM
 
Location: planet earth
5,016 posts, read 1,906,418 times
Reputation: 11059

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
LOL, you can put "In your long life" in front of any thread. That doesn't mean every thread is related to retirement just because someone has had a long life.
In your long life, how have you dealt with nasty neighbors?
In your long life, how many times has your home been broken into?
In your long life, how many times have you hired a plumber?
I know you think you're being clever, but I am not following your logic. If someone has lived a long time - and is retired and wants to talk about a subject that includes life-long experiences, then to me, it does pertain to "retirement."

I am seeing that some people equate the word "retirement" with just one or two subjects (insurance or money) and others see it as a period of life that includes lots of different subjects that impact the retiree.

 
Old 07-24-2019, 10:27 AM
 
Location: planet earth
5,016 posts, read 1,906,418 times
Reputation: 11059
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
No. You first.

I just don't feel like being fodder for emotional vampirism today.
I said I had been betrayed yesterday, so I did go first.

Your comment is snarky and unnecessary. Emotional vampirism? Sounds like you have issues.
 
Old 07-24-2019, 10:30 AM
 
Location: planet earth
5,016 posts, read 1,906,418 times
Reputation: 11059
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
In my 74 years I have been betrayed a lot. Family, business, personal relationships - people casually betray your trust and confidence all the time. People repeat conversations when they shouldn't, and even make up conversations that never happened. Lovers cheat, relatives gossip, people take advantage and on and on.
You have to ignore some of it. Just mark it down, and quietly change the nature of your relationship.

But there are times when you have to draw the line. There are times when you must remind yourself that it is OK to throw some disloyal loudmouth who shows he cannot be trusted, right off your train.
Yes, I notice it happening frequently and if it's just garden variety betrayal, I try to chalk it up to "human nature," but sometimes (like my experience yesterday), the relationship cannot withstand it - what was remarkable to me about my most recent experience is that I had the greatest respect for the person and never saw the betrayal coming. I think I have blind spots where I give people who don't deserve it the benefit of the doubt sometimes.
 
Old 07-24-2019, 10:32 AM
 
Location: planet earth
5,016 posts, read 1,906,418 times
Reputation: 11059
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sibay View Post
It happens, it hurts, and then you have a choice, hold on to it or move on.

I can't think of a good reason to fill the baggage we carry with us in this thing we call life with bad memories so we're sure to never lose track of them, so much so that we keep count. Seems like a dismal way to live but to each their own.
As I stated, I have not counted.

Some people post just to put others down.
 
Old 07-24-2019, 10:34 AM
 
Location: planet earth
5,016 posts, read 1,906,418 times
Reputation: 11059
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willamette City View Post
I was betrayed by my mother in 1973. I had left 300 record albums with my parents when I was moving around the country quite a bit. My mother noticed one album cover that offended her. For the record, it was an album by the band "Free". She decided that all 300 albums had to be destroyed and burned them all. At an average of $4 per record, that amounted to $1200 of destruction. I never forgave her for that.
Wow. Did she literally "burn" plastic? Toxic!

What was depicted on that cover that so offended her?
 
Old 07-24-2019, 10:36 AM
 
Location: planet earth
5,016 posts, read 1,906,418 times
Reputation: 11059
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
I would have to say that I was betrayed three times that I can think of. The first time was by my ex who cheated. I took all of the money except a couple of hundred, most of the furniture which I paid for, and moved myself back from California to Illinois. The second was by a contractor that worked for us for years. He took the money we gave him for materials and paid his bills. He bought the materials with a bad check and our property could have had a lien against it. His work was so bad that my husband and I had to take it all down and hire someone else to help us put it back together. I sued him and won in small claims court, but he moved out of state and filed for bankruptcy. He paid back about $300 of the two grand I sued him for. The third was by a crooked manager that took away my hours and gave them to outside agency. i was in house registry and if I didn't work, I didn't get paid. I filed for unemployment, which they tried to deny, but I won. That manager got escorted out by security a short time later. I heard he lost his house as well.
Those are all serious examples of betrayal and criminality!

My betrayals have been more personal. People working at cross-purposes behind your back, dropping the ball on a commitment, etc.
 
Old 07-24-2019, 10:36 AM
 
357 posts, read 63,371 times
Reputation: 734
I can't remember being betrayed. I'm usually the betrayer.
 
Old 07-24-2019, 10:38 AM
 
1,709 posts, read 597,472 times
Reputation: 3183
I guess it depends on how one defines "betrayal."

If it includes being deliberately taken advantage of by someone in a business relationship (for example, an unscrupulous contractor who substitutes lower grade or shoddy materials for what was originally specified; or who quotes a price and then mid-job comes up with reasons why it has to cost much more) then I would say about a half dozen times overall.

But if it only pertains to actions taken by someone with whom I had a personal (non-business) relationship with, in the sense of being deliberately lied to or misled, or a solemn promise being broken? Then once definitely.

Another person might qualify as well but in that case, looking back objectively, I honestly cannot say whether red flags were there that I either didn't recognize for what they were, or unconsciously chose to ignore. In a situation like that I don't know whether subsequent behavior by that person should be called betrayal or simply "acting according to their nature." Obviously I considered myself deliberately misled at the time but in retrospect I can see warning signs that I didn't recognize because I was naieve. And it is often human nature to take advantage of someone who allows that to happen, unfortunately.

So I'd say once definitely (if using the personal-relationship-only criteria) plus one "maybe."
 
Old 07-24-2019, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Southern California
24,045 posts, read 8,391,998 times
Reputation: 15675
Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
This is the Retirement forum, where I wouldn't expect a large number of people under sixty, and he OP does say in the title "In Your Long Life......." which does further emphasize older people and a long view.

Is it about Social Security, pensions, Medicare...and so on, which are rather specific to the state of not working any longer? No, it isn't. But then other threads in this forum do not touch those either: Tiredness in Old Age, The Millionaire TV Show, and on and on. Why is the first not in the Health forum then? And the second in Entertainment?

Perhaps the moderators ought to find a way to chop the forum in two so that there is a section specific to the mechanics of retirement, and another section for taking the long/reflective view of things.
Why do so many make a big stink about where "topics" are posted...good grief, let it go and if you don't like the topic, skip over. We're all human and NO ONE is better than anyone else, NO ONE.,...get that.
 
Old 07-24-2019, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Southern California
24,045 posts, read 8,391,998 times
Reputation: 15675
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Those are all serious examples of betrayal and criminality!

My betrayals have been more personal. People working at cross-purposes behind your back, dropping the ball on a commitment, etc.
To me those are disappointments, in my mind no big deal in the whole scheme of the big picture.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top