U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-16-2019, 09:10 AM
 
72,790 posts, read 72,628,690 times
Reputation: 50291

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Retired View Post
Opinion:

Well done. You have your bases pretty much covered.
Curious: Did it run you about $15 G's a year ?
If it helps....
The average lifespan at a nursing home is 2 to 3 years.
When choosing a nursing home the answer I give anyone who asks which facility is the best?
My answer is the one you visit everyday. Keeps the Nurses and staff on their best behavior concerning a loved one.
the 2-3 year stay as the insurers learned was greatly flawed .... many like my dad required 24/7 care but we could not afford a snf ...health care workers took many like my dad in their homes and cared for them in specially equipped homes .... basically these people were never counted and many lived a long time like my dad -6 years.

it is also based on data a generation ago as boomers are to young ... there was a lot of home care back then and it ended up busting up families as one sibling stepped up the plate and took financial , career , social hits and everyone else stepped back . today with 2 people needing to work it is not done nearly as much
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-16-2019, 09:11 AM
 
8,900 posts, read 10,952,634 times
Reputation: 12969
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Retired View Post
Opinion:

When choosing a nursing home the answer I give anyone who asks which facility is the best?
My answer is the one you visit everyday. Keeps the Nurses and staff on their best behavior concerning a loved one.
You're right. I'm in nursing. The families that are there all the time naturally will keep them on their toes, more so I'd say. You have to trust your gut instincts, too. If something doesn't feel right, listen to it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2019, 02:47 PM
 
613 posts, read 176,031 times
Reputation: 1477
If you divorced all assets are split and no survivor pension benefits for the spouse once the person dies.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2019, 03:06 PM
 
2,367 posts, read 830,217 times
Reputation: 6050
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
Just kind of spitballing here - do you know a lot of people in this situation who get divorced to attempt to preserve assets?
I'd thought it was ignored by the state if it happened within 5 years of a spouse entering LTC but I was wrong; apparently it's a tactic that some couples use.

https://www.helsell.com/helsell-news...e-an-overview/
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2019, 03:23 PM
 
72,790 posts, read 72,628,690 times
Reputation: 50291
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
Just kind of spitballing here - do you know a lot of people in this situation who get divorced to attempt to preserve assets?
Our state is very hard on Medicaid divorces.

it isn't easy to get what is called a medicaid divorce in many states which is usually what is done when a major health event happens .



two very powerful laws here in ny have been upheld and according to our estate attorney who is one of the biggest in ny there are very very few medicaid divorces .

all court actions are now pretty much based on right of refusal .

our two laws that pretty much killed off medicaid divorce are :

(1) Section 5-311 of the General Obligation Law which provides that except as provided in Section 236 of the Domestic Relations Law, a husband and wife cannot contract to relieve either his or her liability to support the other in such a manner that he or she will become incapable of self support, and therefore likely to become a public charge; and

(2) Family Court Act Section 415 which provides that the spouse or parent of a recipient of public assistance or care, or of a person liable to become in need thereof, or a patient in an institution in the department of mental hygiene if of sufficient ability, is responsible for the support of such a person. The Court has the discretion to require any such person to contribute a fair and reasonable sum for such support (child up to 21 years of age).

also if it is eventually determined that a divorce is to be pursued, the divorce needs to satisfy all of the requirements of the Domestic Relations Law, such as establishing one of the requisite grounds for a divorce. This may be difficult to accomplish because of the illness or disability of one spouse
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-17-2019, 08:09 AM
 
29,994 posts, read 35,084,332 times
Reputation: 11891
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
That's very dependent on gender. Men are less than half that. For men, the median stay before death is a bit under 6 months. A very large slice of men don't live beyond their 3 months of Medicare coverage. If you go into any memory care facility or skilled nursing facility, it's always mostly women. My mother is in memory care. 52 rooms in four wings with a few of those double-occupancy Medicaid rooms. Maybe 55 to 60 residents. There are three men. My mom has landed in the skilled nursing part of the CCRC a few times after hospitalization. The ratio is similar there. There is a higher fraction of men in assisted living but the typical LTC policy won't cover that. Assisted living is also far less expensive.
I wonder if in lump sum entry CCRC’s how much of that amount comes from a deceased spouses insurance payout?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-17-2019, 08:36 AM
 
72,790 posts, read 72,628,690 times
Reputation: 50291
when it comes to all these statistics , bad stuff has to happen to someone ..it is either us or it isn't ... that is the only stat that matters .. in my dad's case it was him on the crappy side of the statistic , he was in 24/7 care for 6 years. it left his spouse ( not my mom ) in very poor financial shape . my sister and i contributed as much as we could but it was a losing battle the costs were so high for so long .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-17-2019, 08:41 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,840 posts, read 6,596,086 times
Reputation: 10412
I think sometimes the family takes care of the men before nursing home, take my brother’s FIL, he had Parkinson’s disease, he died at age 99 after staying at a nursing home for 1 year. But I think his daughter took care of him before that, like shopping and stuff. She also took care of her mom at the same time. Her moms on wheel chair, but not in nursing home.
The other SIL’s father had something of a Lewd disease but his wife hired a private guy, maybe somebody she knew from her relatives, it took about 5 years at home before her father died. No nursing home staying.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-17-2019, 08:45 AM
 
72,790 posts, read 72,628,690 times
Reputation: 50291
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
I think sometimes the family takes care of the men before nursing home, take my brother’s FIL, he had Parkinson’s disease, he died at age 99 after staying at a nursing home for 1 year. But I think his daughter took care of him before that, like shopping and stuff. She also took care of her mom at the same time. Her moms on wheel chair, but not in nursing home.
The other SIL’s father had something of a Lewd disease but his wife hired a private guy, maybe somebody she knew from her relatives, it took about 5 years at home before her father died. No nursing home staying.
just went to see my buddy in a snf with parkinsons ... 14k a month ... he just exhausted his money and started on medicaid ..luckily he has no spouse. this is year 2 and he is in okay shape and looks like he is in for a long stay .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-17-2019, 09:03 AM
 
14,274 posts, read 7,630,536 times
Reputation: 26082
Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
when it comes to all these statistics , bad stuff has to happen to someone ..it is either us or it isn't ... that is the only stat that matters .. in my dad's case it was him on the crappy side of the statistic , he was in 24/7 care for 6 years. it left his spouse ( not my mom ) in very poor financial shape . my sister and i contributed as much as we could but it was a losing battle the costs were so high for so long .

For most people, if the worst case happens without Medicaid planning, the spouse is left with the house, ~$125k, and their own retirement income stream intact. In 2019, there's largely no such thing as "stay-at-home-mom". You have your own Social Security check, your own 401(k) accounts, and your own pension for some. Your narrative tends to be Edith Bunker in a 1970s sitcom where Archie gets sick. The late-Boomer women with enough internet skills to be on a retirement forum who have to plan this now largely went to college and had careers. I can't think of anyone in my late-Boomer High School graduating class who didn't log close to 35 work years. Mommy track has largely been for really affluent people where eating $500K in long term care isn't going to wipe them out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top