U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old Yesterday, 08:31 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,197 posts, read 8,719,991 times
Reputation: 6228

Advertisements

Some of you know I have vision issues and I try to hide/minimize these as much as possible.

I guess to the outside world it doesn't seem as bad but sometimes, I feel like I'm just a fall away from disaster. (I did miss a step back in February 2017 - broke my foot and ankle) so with that in mind...

My husband would go with me; also checked, it's OK but he'll be "on his own" while the rest of us go to these invited events (things with tickets in advance - all sold out - only 1 ticket became available due to a cancellation which was very nice of them to think of me.

Haven't said yes yet but I have to fly to NYC and back. Just getting through the airport - even though I know it - will be an adventure by myself.

My husband is a great sport and he'd love to go away for a few days anyway; I'd be staying by myself in a hotel anyway and I'd feel better with him there. I've stayed there before and I like that part of NYC - Gramercy Park area.

I don't want the others to feel like my husband has to "tag along" all the time. I know they'll feel they have to invite him for brunch or dinner at some point but he honestly says he's OK.

What would you do?

Note: I'm posting it here in the retirement forum since others may not like/want to travel alone and may want to bring a buddy along. For example, he holds my hand when walking so I don't fall; stuff like that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old Yesterday, 08:35 PM
 
357 posts, read 63,371 times
Reputation: 734
I'd do it just like you just wrote. I don't see what the choice is. Not have him come along? Not go at all?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 08:36 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,157 posts, read 23,113,673 times
Reputation: 35427
I don't understand the question.

I have recently broken my ankle and finger due to a fall.

I get you want help from your husband, but that's not needed all the time.

So, beyond that, I don't get what you're asking.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 09:09 PM
 
6,382 posts, read 5,105,233 times
Reputation: 12946
Hey - he might just enjoy staying in the hotel room relaxing while you are out and about with your group

I've done that before. Went with my first husband to a sports event he wanted to attend. Kind of training type thing. I didn't mind relaxing and staying in the hotel - watching TV and reading a book.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Southern California
24,043 posts, read 8,391,998 times
Reputation: 15675
OP: If you still a strong desire to travel etc, then go for it. I'm happy at home at this later time with my OA issues.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,197 posts, read 8,719,991 times
Reputation: 6228
Smile Question -

The females that invited me might not want a male tagging along.

I've asked; they said it's OK.

Usually, I go and scope out a place before going; count steps, etc. but I don't go to NYC all that much.

My vision has gotten worse since I last traveled there alone so I think honestly, I don't know if I'd trust myself by myself.

I have no depth perception - pretty much my whole life - so that and balance, I need help with but I fool people.

They invited ME - not my husband. Plus, then I was told just to stay wherever I wanted. It's a good walk from where they live but more central to what plans they have.

Oh, and I'm fine traveling. I'm not retired - still working over 80 hours weekly; it probably takes me longer b/c of the vision but my job is crazy busy and I've got a lot of years to make up for some misfortunes. Things that don't usually happen to people but I've accepted it and just have to take one day at a time.

They have tickets to see a play I've never seen (would love to go) and then I suggested a concert at Madison Square Garden the next night which I can take them to. Turns out Hootie and the Blowfish are playing and they are awesome!

Not sure if a couple of the girls know the extent of my vision issues - maybe not. My daughter is the one who invited me but she views me as a really tough, cool mom. She, of course, knows about the vision issues but she probably wouldn't hold my hand like my husband would!!

My husband is a sweetheart with all this but I'm good to him too.

I just don't want to make other uncomfortable - that's one of the reasons I fake it - I feel it when people feel uncomfortable but as people get older, more people have issues shall we say. My husband is my support system in so many ways but I'm his also.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 10:21 PM
 
Location: Southern California
24,043 posts, read 8,391,998 times
Reputation: 15675
You sound like you are talking yourself out of going. Why wouldn't your friends and daughter help you some? 80 hrs week of working????!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 10:47 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,612 posts, read 14,394,633 times
Reputation: 23677
Your daughter invited you and she's aware of your vision problems so I don't think she'd be surprised or put out by your husband tagging along. Would it be awkward for your daughter to explain to the others that you sometimes rely on your husband for help getting around in unfamiliar places? I wouldn't worry too much about him being on his own for the duration of the events, as long as he says he's fine with it. Nothing terrible about a few hours to chill and order in room service, lol.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 10:49 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,197 posts, read 8,719,991 times
Reputation: 6228
Smile Possibly...

I'm a bit anxious when it comes to air travel. Always glad to get there. Always glad to get back too.

My daughter is just awesome. She is kind; there was a time when she was in college and embarrassed by me. I fell down 3 brick steps (ouch) outside of her dorm. On the way in, it was a ramp. I thought we were going out the same way we came in and did not judge it right.

When you get really hurt like that, it doesn't hurt right away and we went to a football game (walked).
But, when I got back to the hotel room hours later - thank God I had hose on plus tight jeans. It saved me.

I could hardly walk. But, I didn't make a big deal since it was all her sorority sisters and I had never met the group before. That was a long time ago but still, it's in my memory.

I have my own business and right now, it's really busy. I'm slammed. I'm hoping my son joins me work wise - even part time - he's working on it - has to become licensed.

My husband has his own business also and it's from that the misfortune happened. Legal - we fought the government on something but ultimately prevailed. It cost a fortune and I'm paying it back which is taking forever. But, a promise is a promise.

26 years ago, I had to buy my parents a condo. Just paid it off this month finally after 2 cash outs for medical bills (theirs) and being underwater. Finally. I'm just mad at myself I didn't pay it off faster. But, at least, it's done. That's my 401K. LOL.

I started working when I was 15 to help my parents. I was the oldest and had huge medical bills from my vision issues when I was a baby until around 7 to 8 years old. They tried everything to no avail. I went to HS, worked 3 jobs to help, put aside all my dreams but good things happened along the way; my brother and I were able to start a business we had for 17 years and built it up to 34 employees. My brother made the decision in a meeting to agree to sell it at a much lower price than it was worth so we never got the value but life goes out. I'm in a related career to that but had to start from stratch.

I do apologize to my children about working so much but they are so cool with it. Super independent both of them; no grandchildren for me yet but they both have good heads on their shoulders; thank God no drugs or smoking. Some drinking during college and after but I see that tapering off. Both eat healthy and I don't know where they got that from - LOL!! So proud of both of them.

So, I've always run behind everyone else trying to catch up. It was that way in grade school also. Took me 2 hours to do the homework everyone else got done in 1 hour but the vision impact was there then.

So, you can kind of see why I lean on my husband. If I can get away for a couple of days and laptop will travel, I can try to do it. We'll see.

Just don't want to be a burden to anyone on the trip.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 10:53 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,197 posts, read 8,719,991 times
Reputation: 6228
Default My husband is totally cool....

Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Your daughter invited you and she's aware of your vision problems so I don't think she'd be surprised or put out by your husband tagging along. Would it be awkward for your daughter to explain to the others that you sometimes rely on your husband for help getting around in unfamiliar places? I wouldn't worry too much about him being on his own for the duration of the events, as long as he says he's fine with it. Nothing terrible about a few hours to chill and order in room service, lol.
I'm a good actress with the vision thing so yes, it might be that explanation. I usually scope out places prior to going and go to the same places over and over since I know them.

I noticed a few minutes ago my husband was checking out the hotel. Hmmm...good sign.

I also have tons of points. Tons. I never really travel that much. Like once a year, maybe not for 4 or 5.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top