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Old 07-29-2019, 06:38 PM
 
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Of course it depends on the family dynamics involved and personalities. I would think before this would become an issue, family members know themselves well enough to think if it would realistically work or not.
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Old 07-29-2019, 08:39 PM
 
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I think it's a great idea. It sounds like you've thought it through and all get along well. If the house is configured correctly and everyone has enough space, it should work out fine. You could wait to sell or rent out your house for a few weeks or months to be sure, but if the family commitment is there (and their house is roomy enough), you'll do fine. Have a plan for what happens if you need more care in later years (your house sale may be able to provide for this) and keep those funds safe. In the meantime, enjoy the time as a family while also respecting each other's space and private time.

Best of luck with your plans. This is how families did it for centuries, taking care of their own.
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Old 07-29-2019, 09:21 PM
 
38,443 posts, read 15,061,044 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by engineman View Post
My sister who has been widowed for 25 years lives in a 4 bedroom house. She is 90 and has slowed down a lot. Her grandson, wife and 2 little girls have moved in with her and it is working very well. She can mind the kids while parents are at work and parents keep the house up.

They built a fence around the pool which they all enjoy plus they handle chores like cutting grass.
A 90 year old woman will be taking care of two little girls?

I don't care who cuts the grass, this doesn't sound right.
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Old 07-29-2019, 09:41 PM
 
5,499 posts, read 2,883,990 times
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If you have reservations about lots of babysitting, don’t kid yourself (pun intended) or lead the kids’ parents on.

My brother bought a bigger house than he needed because my mother supposedly was going to play nanny and live with him and his wife. He bought the (expensive) house; she got cold feet about not having control over everything. It sounded like she didn’t want to play nanny after all, more like live off him and do whatever she wanted.

He still resents being played.

Your OP smells awfully one-sided.
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Old 07-29-2019, 09:52 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,733 posts, read 40,145,633 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ysr_racer View Post
I can't think of a worse thing I could do to my kids.
.
My parents (disabled) moved in the day I turned age 18, bought them a house when I was 19.

32+ yrs later... They were gone (I buried them). Literally... as in driving the 'deceased' 2000 miles and renting a backhoe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
Of course it depends on the family dynamics involved and personalities. I would think before this would become an issue, family members know themselves well enough to think if it would realistically work or not.
I know several families that have worked out superb. Many farm families have done this for generations.
Not uncommon in other cultures. Can be great for grandkids, especially if they have 2 working parents (or more). I keep extra living qtrs in my homes for this and other reasons. (Boomerang parents and kids, and friends and needy, and missionaries traveling home, and my future caregiver...
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Old 07-29-2019, 10:29 PM
 
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My FIL lived with us and I disliked the intrusion into our daily lives. Granted, we had few choices as the nursing homes were doing a terrible job at the time. Still, I longed for the days that we were our own nuclear family.

I think that it is far better to live in your own home or condo in another part of the city or neighborhood. Keep your privacy on both sides, and don't go over there unannounced or uninvited.

Think back when you were younger and your parents and in-laws were still alive. Did they live with you? If so, how well did that work out? Don't expect them to do what you did not.

Free babysitting or not.
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Old 07-29-2019, 10:59 PM
 
Location: Rust'n in Tustin
2,276 posts, read 2,435,559 times
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What's that old adage about house guests and fish?
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Old Yesterday, 04:20 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
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When my kids were little my mother would spend each summer visiting from Arizona to escape the heat and help us raise the kids.

It was a wonderful experience. She taught them how to play tennis, how to play the piano and how to help out doing chores and cooking. She set an admirable example and they cherish her memory.
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Old Yesterday, 05:12 AM
 
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It's very much a cultural thing as well. The U.S. culture for whatever reason has put a stigma on older people living with their adult children when in many other countries it's rather normal. The same goes with people leaving home when they turn 18. In many cultures most people live at home with their parents until they are married, not when a specific date on the calendar happens.

I'm not sure if there is another culture in the world that looks down on parents and adult children living together for specific reasons as much as it's looked down on in the U.S.
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Old Yesterday, 06:23 AM
 
Location: Kronenwetter Wisconsin
295 posts, read 143,692 times
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Our son, his wife and almost 16 yr old grandson moved in with us last fall. It was going to only be a year until they built on the lot next door to us. They have decided to put off building. We don't mind. We cook differently from them so we rarely eat meals together. We all work. They give us some money towards satellite etc. It works fine for us and there have been no issues at all.
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