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Old 07-30-2019, 06:49 AM
 
Location: Moore, Ok
94 posts, read 75,403 times
Reputation: 349

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I think I am becoming adverse to change. This would be a change for sure. We would have a back up plan. This son and daughter in law, we get along with very well. I do see so much more positive about this for ALL of us and very little negative. Yes, it is not common to do this in our country but maybe that needs to change. I am leaning more towards it all the time. Good thing is, there is no rush. And not much we would have to invest to do it.
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Old 07-30-2019, 06:55 AM
 
147 posts, read 118,488 times
Reputation: 819
I was a single mother with three daughters, worked 3 jobs usually, and was POOR..very poor. So at age 62 i had little money saved for retirement. My daughters have done well and my youngest was househunting and brought a home with a small mother-in-law suite. I sold my house, moved in.. and its been wonderful. I help out taking one kid to one tennis lesson every Saturday and pick up kids from school once or twice a month. Half my paycheck goes into savings. I only interact with them occasionally, and days can go by where I don't see them at all.


I can't speak for them, but for me, I love it. I love not being alone (though I didn't think i minded living alone before I moved in) and I love saving money.
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Old 07-30-2019, 07:14 AM
 
1,215 posts, read 391,211 times
Reputation: 2654
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancyf View Post
We could rent our house for awhile and then escape back to it.
If you think it might work, go for it. If it doesn't work, you can always move back to your house. Some logistics thoughts though, what happens to all your stuff if you move in with them? Storage? If not storage, just give away?

What happens if the fit hits the shan and you want to move back?
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Old 07-30-2019, 07:26 AM
 
454 posts, read 180,256 times
Reputation: 1323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vision67 View Post
When my kids were little my mother would spend each summer visiting from Arizona to escape the heat and help us raise the kids.

It was a wonderful experience. She taught them how to play tennis, how to play the piano and how to help out doing chores and cooking. She set an admirable example and they cherish her memory.
A summer or winter could be fun. Living in the same home 24/7 365 days a year is far different.
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Old 07-30-2019, 07:28 AM
 
454 posts, read 180,256 times
Reputation: 1323
Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
My parents (disabled) moved in the day I turned age 18, bought them a house when I was 19.

32+ yrs later... They were gone (I buried them). Literally... as in driving the 'deceased' 2000 miles and renting a backhoe.



I know several families that have worked out superb. Many farm families have done this for generations.
Not uncommon in other cultures. Can be great for grandkids, especially if they have 2 working parents (or more). I keep extra living qtrs in my homes for this and other reasons. (Boomerang parents and kids, and friends and needy, and missionaries traveling home, and my future caregiver...
If you do this, I like the idea of SEPARATE living quarters. Both parties could use the privacy. Good idea.
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Old 07-30-2019, 09:36 AM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,538 posts, read 8,537,791 times
Reputation: 20889
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancyf View Post
I think I am becoming adverse to change. This would be a change for sure. We would have a back up plan. This son and daughter in law, we get along with very well. I do see so much more positive about this for ALL of us and very little negative. Yes, it is not common to do this in our country but maybe that needs to change. I am leaning more towards it all the time. Good thing is, there is no rush. And not much we would have to invest to do it.
Do you want to continue to get along well with them?

Don't move in with them.
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Old 07-30-2019, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Moore, Ok
94 posts, read 75,403 times
Reputation: 349
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
Do you want to continue to get along well with them?

Don't move in with them.
I have 6 other children to choose from so no problem...just kidding.
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Old 07-30-2019, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,541 posts, read 17,816,194 times
Reputation: 42996
Quote:
Originally Posted by Effielin View Post
I was a single mother with three daughters, worked 3 jobs usually, and was POOR..very poor. So at age 62 i had little money saved for retirement. My daughters have done well and my youngest was househunting and brought a home with a small mother-in-law suite. I sold my house, moved in.. and its been wonderful. I help out taking one kid to one tennis lesson every Saturday and pick up kids from school once or twice a month. Half my paycheck goes into savings. I only interact with them occasionally, and days can go by where I don't see them at all.


I can't speak for them, but for me, I love it. I love not being alone (though I didn't think i minded living alone before I moved in) and I love saving money.
I am very glad that it is working out for you. I think having a MIL suite can make a huge difference. Plus you respect the privacy and boundaries of your daughter and help out a bit. Great!

On the caregiving forum the people that post with problems general have parents/in-laws who are very intrusive into their lives. Such as want to be with them every waking hour and the husband and wife have to retreat into their bedroom to have a private conversation (even then some of the parents/in laws feel that they can barge in whenever they desire).
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Old 07-30-2019, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,541 posts, read 17,816,194 times
Reputation: 42996
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancyf View Post
I have 6 other children to choose from so no problem...just kidding.
With seven children you have a lot of flexibility that others may not have. For example, if you feel that you need a break from the situation, or your daughter needs a break, you could spend a couple of weeks (or months) visiting your other children. In fact, you probably will want to spend time with your other children and other grandchildren.
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Old 07-30-2019, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Florida -
8,880 posts, read 11,044,593 times
Reputation: 17109
While traveling South towards Miami, our daughter (then about 5) piped-up from the back seat, "When we get to YOUR-ami, can we go the beach?"
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