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Old 07-31-2019, 04:53 AM
 
12,266 posts, read 5,376,260 times
Reputation: 20014

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ysr_racer View Post
Not, what if, but when. It's a short term fix at best.
Not really. Most people die before they need that kind of high maintenance assistance. You're assuming everyone will be disabled which is not the case. The vast majority of people don't die lingering in nursing homes.
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Old 07-31-2019, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,542 posts, read 17,816,194 times
Reputation: 43001
Quote:
Originally Posted by elan View Post
We are planning on building a small detached guesthouse for relatives too. I think detached helps with the privacy, that's important. If families get along, I don't see the problem. The small fenced yard is a great idea for them to putter around. I was going to ask for tips in the Caregiving Forum, but quickly changed my mind. Those people seem to hate their parents and in-laws, so sad.
I'm a regular on the caregiving forum. IMHO, what you are seeing is a function of asking questions on a forum. I loved my late mother and provided a significant amount of caregiving to her (she was disabled for many years and bedridden her last two years). I never had a reason to start a thread about it because it worked out so very well. There are many people like me who read and post responses on the caregivers forum. People who love their elderly parents and in-laws and spouses, and provide caregiving, and do not have a reason to start a thread about it.

The people who start threads mostly do it because there are problems that need to be solved, have questions, or they need to vent about the situation because there is no one that they can talk to in real life.

Please post your question. I am sure that you will receive many helpful tips and things that you haven't considered that will make the guest house even more elderly friendly and handicapped accessible.

Last edited by germaine2626; 07-31-2019 at 10:14 AM..
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Old 07-31-2019, 09:48 AM
 
26,453 posts, read 33,484,635 times
Reputation: 33171
Not something I would ever do if there was ANY other option.
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Old 07-31-2019, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Moore, Ok
94 posts, read 75,403 times
Reputation: 349
We are all going to have a final decision making talk this weekend. I think we are ready for this change. Our situation is very favorable but I do understand that is not true for others. We will limit our investment and have a plan B if not happy after a year. I am excited and scared. All of me feels this is the change to do now. And my mind has worked it out and says its go time. Thanks everyone.
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Old 07-31-2019, 02:12 PM
 
39,155 posts, read 15,428,544 times
Reputation: 25565
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancyf View Post
We are all going to have a final decision making talk this weekend. I think we are ready for this change. Our situation is very favorable but I do understand that is not true for others. We will limit our investment and have a plan B if not happy after a year. I am excited and scared. All of me feels this is the change to do now. And my mind has worked it out and says its go time. Thanks everyone.


Please let us know what you decide.
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Old 07-31-2019, 02:14 PM
 
39,155 posts, read 15,428,544 times
Reputation: 25565
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I'm a regular on the caregiving forum. IMHO, what you are seeing is a function of asking questions on a forum. I loved my late mother and provided a significant amount of caregiving to her (she was disabled for many years and bedridden her last two years). I never had a reason to start a thread about it because it worked out so very well. There are many people like me who read and post responses on the caregivers forum. People who love their elderly parents and in-laws and spouses, and provide caregiving, and do not have a reason to start a thread about it.

The people who start threads mostly do it because there are problems that need to be solved, have questions, or they need to vent about the situation because there is no one that they can talk to in real life.

Please post your question. I am sure that you will receive many helpful tips and things that you haven't considered that will make the guest house even more elderly friendly and handicapped accessible.
Bingo.

My mother lived with us for years. Things were fine until the last year or so, that's when I started looking for support.
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Old 08-29-2019, 05:23 PM
 
Location: West coast
261 posts, read 92,728 times
Reputation: 426
The wife and I are facing this delima right now of my Mom moving in to our retirement spot we recently purchased.
It is not the usual delima of supporting my mother.
Nor is it a thing that we need her funds.
She is In her mid 80ís.
She has her own money (and lots of it) and is just doing fine.
This is not the situation that we need any of her funds.
We have our own money.
We are from Germany.
We take care of our own.
Our retirement spot actually has 2 large houses.
Nothing extravagant.
Itís just 2 nice buildings on a few acres on a nice spot.
That being said....
I am gonna have my Mom here until the end.
It ainít easy, but thatís all I got.
Andy.
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Old 08-30-2019, 08:34 AM
 
Location: Rust'n in Tustin
2,461 posts, read 2,532,167 times
Reputation: 4772
I can't imagine a more terrible thing to do to your children, then to burden them with taking care of you.

I want my children to be independent, to flourish, not to labor under the weight of taking care of me.
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Old Today, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Moore, Ok
94 posts, read 75,403 times
Reputation: 349
Well, there would be babysitting involved for years. Then I guess they could kick us to the curb.
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Old Today, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Surf City, NC
369 posts, read 560,032 times
Reputation: 961
Quote:
Originally Posted by engineman View Post
My sister who has been widowed for 25 years lives in a 4 bedroom house. She is 90 and has slowed down a lot. Her grandson, wife and 2 little girls have moved in with her and it is working very well. She can mind the kids while parents are at work and parents keep the house up.

They built a fence around the pool which they all enjoy plus they handle chores like cutting grass.
YIKES. A 90 year old should not be asked to mind small kids. My mom is a very active 94 year old, but at 90 she was well past her child minding days. Just didn't have the strength or energy.
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