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I would say mine was not so good as dad was a drinker and that caused so many problem for our family of six.
Money was always a problem plus the endless fighting.
It just brought so much tension into our lives.
We were always begging him to take "the pledge" at Church and I think he did take it but just couldn't keep it.
He was always late coming home (in the local tavern) and then would be crabby when he got there, looking for something to argue about, find fault, etc.
There were some great memories I love to think about though....like the 4th of July when my brothers would put on a little fireworks display in the backyard (we had great, long time neighbors) and invite everyone over to watch and our week long vacation at a lake when mom would take out an FHA loan to pay for and then pay it off bit by bit all year. Those were good times.
Anyone else care to share their thoughts on the good and bad parts of their childhood?
Oh - now that I'm 75 and 'have thought so much about all this I have to say I don't blame Dad so much anymore as his life (flat janitor) was very, very hard with the tenants always calling up with endless complaints and he kept their buildings in top shape! He always was a perfectionist about work and home maintenance.
I can see how going to the tavern, hanging out with the other men after work was a relief for him, he just didn't want to come home.
He was a good man and a hard worker - back breaking work.
My dad wasn’t around much (serving during the war). Otherwise, I guess it was pretty normal. I lost my two best friends to a drowning accident. That was the only real trauma I remember. I don’t remember much of it that well but I think it was a pretty good time overall.
I have memories of going to my grandmother's when the first heavy snow would happen. All my cousins would be there, my grandmother would hand us big bowls with orders to pack them hard full of snow. But avoid the yellow snow!! Then we would race back in, and my grandmother would have a pot of simmering maple syrup on the stove and would ladle the syrup in swirls over the packed snow. The syrup would go hard on the outside, but still be hot on the inside. The BEST maple syrup candy.
I can remember going to this small lake in the summer. On the way was an ice cream stand, where they made the ice-cream in-house. Home-made blueberry ice cream was pure bliss. Then we would go to the lake, and my mother would spread out the blanket. My father would climb the platform out in the middle of the lake (it was three stories high) and he would dive from the top tier, with everyone ooohing and aaahing. He would do flips and somersaults and swan dives, while we all watched.
My father was a golfer. And we only had one car, so my mother would drop him off on Saturdays, then do her errands, and then at the end of the day we would go to pick him up. Mom would stay in the car, and we'd run down to the 19th hole, where my dad would be having a beer with his buddies, maybe playing cards. And we'd run in, and the bartender would set us kids up with a round (root beer), while Dad would finish up with his friends. They'd all joke with us kids, and we'd feel so important.
Didn't have a lot, but never hungry and always clothed. Dad drank all his life, mom saved her children. I danced a LOT, jumped rope, hop scotch, jacks and grew up and no regrets...and learned how to support myself after a unexpected divorce. Still take care of ME and feel my life is GOOD. No smartphone and still NONE at just about 81. Desktop is sufficient for my life.
Last edited by jaminhealth; 08-01-2019 at 02:58 PM..
We had two parents who loved us but kept us disciplined. We had the run of the county where we lived, able to walk or ride our bikes as far as we wanted as long as we were home for supper. We had neighbors who kept an eye out for us and didn't hesitate to talk to our parents if we were misbehaving. The country was "dry" so drinking didn't intrude too much.
I learned the value of hard work early. My mom rewarded me for extra chores that I did and I got my first job at 13. Our parents never overindulged us - I'd say that we were lower-middle-class. I always thought it was unfair to expect them to pay for my college knowing that they were saving for retirement so I used the military to earn the GI Bill.
We went to church every Sunday even if we didn't want to. My father loved to travel and by the time I was 17, we had traveled as far south as Key West, as far north as the north side of Lake Superior, as far east as the Outer Bank of NC and as far west as Utah... all done while pulling a tent trailer that my father built from scratch.
Even when our little home town was destroyed by a tornado when I was 15, we never lost hope or felt sorry for ourselves. Within hours, my brother and I were working with a guy on a bulldozer trying to clear the roads to our little country hospital so those injured could receive care. It was dark, there was no electricity but it's amazing what a couple of guys with flashlights and a bulldozer can accomplish. lol
This was the beginning of segregation but we never had any issues. Believe it or not, it was sports that united blacks and whites and it was Charles Cleveland who taught us grace and humility. My God... it could have gone so wrong but it didn't... it went so right. Read the article that I linked. It's worth your time.
Unhappy and miserable starting at age 9 when we moved from Ohio to SoCal. It wasn't just because we moved that I was so unhappy, btw -- there were a lot of other things going on in my life that were bad, also. (To list just a few, we were working class poor, my brother had muscular dystrophy, and my parents not only treated me as an unpaid servant, but took two-thirds of my earnings starting at age 14 with my first summer full-time babysitting job.) I wasn't really happy until I was almost 23. After that, even though I have had MANY bad periods, overall my life has been pretty good, and especially so for the past few years.
Btw, I never though I would be happier in my senior years than I was in my younger and middle-aged ones! It took me a very long time before I stopped being bitter about my childhood and realized that I was actually very fortunate compared to some others because at least I was intelligent, not unattractive once I reached my mid-teens, and healthy -- and I could see, hear, and run. I am just sorry that I spent so many years feeling very sorry for myself.
Last edited by katharsis; 08-01-2019 at 03:16 PM..
My father beat the living crap put of us, literally blisters on blisters and actually could not sit down for a week, even sitting on 2 or 3 pillows.
He beat us for no reason, for good reasons and for bad reasons, for not obeying, for bad grades, for failing at anything, any reason he wanted. Even if i had been "good" forca week, hed beat me for that saying i must have done something wrong in there somewhere and just didn't get caught yet.
Got beaten for any number of reasons, even getting bad grades, like if you beat the tar out of me itll improve test scores!
Id hate to think if he was also a drinking man.
It lasted til i was 13, by then i was old enough to actively fight back and.... i ran away from home. He asked why once i was found and brought home. I said "you went to parent-teacher night. " he said So? I said my grades weren't good enough. He said So? I said what would habe happened when you got home,? He said oh, maybe its time i started looking at you as a young adult instead of a little boy cause if you're old enough to run away from home and got as far as you did...(he dropped off)
[ also bear in mind that at age 9, due to my mother's disease she could no long walk or run the house, so as the oldest child i had to take on the serious job of running a household and take physical care of mother AND attempt to get all those "good grades" in school!! And if i didnt do something right ( like accidentally burning dinner, i got beaten for that too!)
I also had to work doing chores for neighbors (lawns. Snow shoveling, raking leaves etc. To earn money to spend on myself, and run the household, and take physical care of mother and get "good" grades in school.
Now im not saying earning my own money was a punishment, but all the other duties thrust upon *only* me, was a bit much.
I DO believe kids should earn their own money. Its good for them.
And some of the more senior members here may have been farmed out at tender ages, but to beat a kid for failing to keep a house running, school, medical care of ailing parent, work for their own money AND EXCELL PERFECTLY AT ALL OF IT, is a bit much to place on the 9 year old kids shoulders.
And, when my OH and i got together, my OH learned very quickly not to come up behind and touch any part of my back, butt, legs (as neck to knees was open beating territory, ) so if my OH snuggled up behind me or gave me a behind hug, id jump right out of my skin!! I was that tramatized that i couldn't bear for anyone to touch any of my back for any reason!
I have no idea why i have posted all this. Maybe its a bit of a catharsis. To get it all out again.
If you read all, thanks. No sympathy needed.
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