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Old 08-04-2019, 06:49 AM
 
385 posts, read 376,491 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
Explain to me again how all this DNA testing is a good thing.
Quite simply, truth is a supreme value. Truth is more important than the comfort of inertia.
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Old 08-04-2019, 06:49 AM
 
113 posts, read 41,110 times
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After I got over the shock of having a half sister, I flew to her state to meet her. My father has been dead 45 years, and I can’t even bring up his face in my memory. But the day I met her, looking at her face over lunch, I got goose bumps. It was Dad’s eyes.

If you had asked me to describe his eyes I would never have been able to do it, nothing distinctive about them at all. But there they were in front of my, Dad’s eyes. Eerie.
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Old 08-04-2019, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,705 posts, read 55,057,708 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
Explain to me again how all this DNA testing is a good thing.
Decades-old unsolved murders are being solved. The Golden State Killer (serial killer) and the murderer of 8-year-old April Tinsley in 1988, just to mention two of them. In both cases, the killers were never on the list of suspects or on anyone's radar, but DNA found at the scenes was linked through relatives whose DNA was in the database.
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Old 08-04-2019, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,202 posts, read 6,985,707 times
Reputation: 7632
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancyf View Post
Found out last night through DNA that who I thought was my father is not.
I'm in the same boat and found out through a DNA test in November, 2017. There is a Facebook group which you can join with 7,000 other members who got this shock. It's helped me tremendously. The name of the group is "DNA NPE Friends." Hugs to you, I can understand and have lived through the pain you're going through.

And for the people who say "why does it matter?" maybe keep those thoughts to yourself. Try to imagine spending your entire life believing your father was your father, when he actually was not. Would you like your siblings that you grew up with to suddenly be half siblings? What about suddenly having several new half siblings? Would you like to deal with having a deceased mother who lied to you your entire life and you'll never know why?

It's traumatic and agonizing, so have some compassion for those of us going through it.
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Old 08-04-2019, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,202 posts, read 6,985,707 times
Reputation: 7632
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
Explain to me again how all this DNA testing is a good thing.
I'll explain it, since I am in the same boat as Nancy, the OP.

The man I thought was my father was a physician, a brilliant man and a marathon runner who lived to be 97 and had no medical issues. The man that DNA proved was my father was a liquor store owner, an alcoholic, a sexual deviant and he died of diabetes and a massive heart attack at 69.

So yeah.... it was a "good"" thing I found out my medical history and can adjust my lifestyle accordingly.
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Old 08-04-2019, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Haiku
4,394 posts, read 2,660,881 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Decades-old unsolved murders are being solved. The Golden State Killer (serial killer) and the murderer of 8-year-old April Tinsley in 1988, just to mention two of them. In both cases, the killers were never on the list of suspects or on anyone's radar, but DNA found at the scenes was linked through relatives whose DNA was in the database.
That whole thing is creepy. Yes it is good to catch murderers but this is a slippery slope leading to all our DNA being gathered by the government in order to solve crimes. But what happens if they discover a gene responsible for deviant behavior of some sort, will they then start watching those people or rounding them up? Who gets to say what deviant behavior is? It makes me really nervous that DNA databases are becoming available to the government. It is bad enough that private companies have DNA databases to be mined for whatever purposes they can cook up to sell us more crap but having the government in on it too is intolerable. IMO.
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Old 08-04-2019, 02:33 PM
 
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
34,045 posts, read 42,433,694 times
Reputation: 43555
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Decades-old unsolved murders are being solved. The Golden State Killer (serial killer) and the murderer of 8-year-old April Tinsley in 1988, just to mention two of them. In both cases, the killers were never on the list of suspects or on anyone's radar, but DNA found at the scenes was linked through relatives whose DNA was in the database.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61 View Post
I'll explain it, since I am in the same boat as Nancy, the OP.

The man I thought was my father was a physician, a brilliant man and a marathon runner who lived to be 97 and had no medical issues. The man that DNA proved was my father was a liquor store owner, an alcoholic, a sexual deviant and he died of diabetes and a massive heart attack at 69.

So yeah.... it was a "good"" thing I found out my medical history and can adjust my lifestyle accordingly.
The above are both good outcomes but someone else has mentioned the possible out years abuse.

Look at the Genealogy Forum, there's not more than a couple days go by that someone doesn't ask a question like, "I got my DNA results and found out something that will **** over my 97 year old grandmother who's been mean to me my entire life. What should I do?"

I have had a couple cardiac events and absolutely no one in the family, either side, ever had any heart issues. At least that's what the Greatest Generation Lying Liars in my family said. I didn't find out differently until my lying liar mother died and, for some reason, discovered she was the keeper of the records (well some of them, both families were big on burning anything paper. Diplomas, report cards, deeds, whatever were consigned to the flames) and it turned out the entire one branch of my paternal grandmother's family had died of heart issues (granted, some today would be minor inconveniences).
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Old 08-04-2019, 03:36 PM
 
Location: Orange County
1,682 posts, read 1,883,757 times
Reputation: 1400
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancyf View Post
Found out last night through DNA that who I thought was my father is not. How about that at 69? Someone with DNA links to me messaged and his Uncle was my father. Well, sperm donated. My daughter and I went over it and yes it is true. It all lines up.

I never really new my "father" and he died when I was 4, but now I have to redo a lot of genealogy work, lol. I am kinda not surprised because of the circumstances at that time. But still, geez! I did get a little quezy this morning after trying to not have deep feelings about it.
We have found out verbally that our grandfather may not have been our real grandfather. My father has already passed away. I don't think he knew that it might not have been his real father. I think they should have told him at some point.

We are on Ancestry but it is hard to verify especially when the key players have passed away.
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Old 08-04-2019, 03:38 PM
 
3,761 posts, read 9,642,845 times
Reputation: 7087
One of my husband's cousins who was adopted out as a toddler found his full bio siblings thru a DNA match with my husband. All the parents are decd and he now has a huge family that is pretty local to enjoy. And they all enjoy it. Both sides spent decades trying to find each other. The siblings knew they had a brother out there somewhere.
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Old 08-04-2019, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,705 posts, read 55,057,708 times
Reputation: 67410
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoByFour View Post
That whole thing is creepy. Yes it is good to catch murderers but this is a slippery slope leading to all our DNA being gathered by the government in order to solve crimes. But what happens if they discover a gene responsible for deviant behavior of some sort, will they then start watching those people or rounding them up? Who gets to say what deviant behavior is? It makes me really nervous that DNA databases are becoming available to the government. It is bad enough that private companies have DNA databases to be mined for whatever purposes they can cook up to sell us more crap but having the government in on it too is intolerable. IMO.
That's a possible dark side that I certainly wouldn't rule out.

Currently, at least, it's unlikely because even with the crime-solving, it costs money to run this research, and not every department and jurisdiction has the funding to get it done. I listen to true crime podcasts, and every so often you hear of one where someone is raising money to have a genealogical search done, but even with the money, they have to have the cooperation of law enforcement.

I don't know about the technology, but I don't think it's as easy as popping one's spit into a database and having instant profiles full of all the information about an individual returned. At least not yet.
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