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Old 08-07-2019, 10:53 AM
 
6,432 posts, read 5,147,326 times
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I hang out with a bunch of older folks - 65 to 72 years of age

Of course one main topic is health. I can see being concerned about an offspring, spouse, partner.

But a sibling or friend. They get upset because they won't take their meds or see a doctor.

I tell them - hey, they are adults, probably even reproduced. It is their choice. Leave them alone.

They are not asking for help.
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Old 08-07-2019, 11:02 AM
 
970 posts, read 214,964 times
Reputation: 1949
What's your question?
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Old 08-07-2019, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque NM
1,675 posts, read 1,544,334 times
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When my younger brother was in his late 30's, I nagged him to go to the doctor because he had a large mole/birthmark on his leg that was getting darker and maybe larger. We did not live in the same state or talk that often and I did not have access to internet at that time so it was mainly over the phone. And I did not have the ability to send him website articles about melanoma or to research it myself without going to a library or bookstore. This went on for a couple of years with my mentioning the mole every couple of months when we talked. I also mentioned it to my older sister because she lived in the same city as him and to another brother. My sister's response was yeah he has that birthmark and was not concerned.

Well it turned out to be melanoma and Stage 3 by the time he got around to seeing a doctor. And our entire family helped support him financially and emotionally the last two years of his life. This may sound cold, but they are not asking for help now but may be asking for lots of help later when things go south and it may be too late. I regret that I did not nag more or try harder to get another older brother involved who had a little more clout - but he was very busy with this job and family at that time.
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Old 08-07-2019, 11:42 AM
 
734 posts, read 372,273 times
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Barring some acute disease, health is a lifestyle choice. Getting adults to change their lifestyle is difficult, and IMO only leads to family strife. Yes, their irresponsible actions often cost other family members lost time and money, but what about the lost time and mental energy needed to coax them? They are adults and should be responsible for their actions and health decisions.
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Old 08-07-2019, 11:58 AM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
4,010 posts, read 2,922,873 times
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My wife is an overweight heart patient who smokes. She was first diagnosed with heart trouble a very long time ago and had a cardiac event (technically not a heart attack, but splitting hairs) that sent her to the ER about 10 years ago. It is a highly charged stressful conversation when I bring it up. I ealy hope that her friends and/or siblings do.
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Old 08-07-2019, 11:58 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,982 posts, read 4,889,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
What's your question?

Please phrase your question in the form of an answer.
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Old 08-07-2019, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
32,130 posts, read 20,232,573 times
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Yes, my husband is an adult, and as such, should be able to make his own health choices.

But when he makes the wrong ones, I'm gonna nag. He knew who he married.
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Old 08-07-2019, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,982 posts, read 4,889,743 times
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Look, if someone came to me and was concerned about my health, I would listen to their concerns. But only if they were not bringing it up to try to "sell" me some alt-med theory or other quackery.
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Old 08-07-2019, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,982 posts, read 4,889,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
I hang out with a bunch of older folks - 65 to 72 years of age

Of course one main topic is health. I can see being concerned about an offspring, spouse, partner.

But a sibling or friend. They get upset because they won't take their meds or see a doctor.

I tell them - hey, they are adults, probably even reproduced. It is their choice. Leave them alone.

They are not asking for help.

At that age, don't you think they're probably worried because they've lost too many people already?
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Old 08-07-2019, 12:31 PM
 
Location: SoCal
13,709 posts, read 6,516,267 times
Reputation: 10234
I don’t need to nag, my husband listens to me 100%.
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