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YES. I relate 100% to the mind wandering when the eyes and hands are not busy. I was an inveterate draw-er and doodler in school because it enabled me to listen and absorb so much better. In elementary school, every one of my worksheets had a picture on the back and bless those teachers, none of them cared. I was a straight-A student, by the way. But in junior high, a teacher held up one of my back-of-the-worksheet drawings and ridiculed me in front of the class. So I switched to self-teaching Japanese and writing characters on the backs of my papers.
On the other hand, the thing about driving while listening to music or an audio book is that you don't have to respond to it and you can turn it off or down any time. If you're talking to passengers in the car, they are actually seeing what you see and tend to stop talking in critical driving moments and even call your attention to things going on in the road. If you're on the phone, though, you don't have any of that. The other person just yaks away without regard to the conditions you're driving in, and you can't easily shut them up, and you're also expected to reply without pausing. That's why phones are statistically more distracting/dangerous than listening to music or talking to a passenger.
ETA: I'm referring to non-handheld phones. Handheld phones add another level of distraction.
I have ADD, I don’t know how severe but I did poorly in school, until I discovered that I could concentrate when I sit in front of the class. It must have worked because I had very high GPA both in high school and in college. I was in engineering to boot.
But when I called my mom, I just talked to her, no doodling whatsoever.
I think for many adult kids, especially sons, talking to the parents is just another obligation they need to cross off their to-do list. So multi tasking while driving is the perfect solution. Hubby and I both hate talking on the phone so the kids are very welcome to stick to texting.
The economics of modern medicine require that heathy people become patients.
sI apologize for hijacking the thread but Frank, you need to do a little more research.
I'll agree about the modern medicine part. And many rowdy kids are said to be ADHD when they are just active.
ADD goes with dyslexia. I always thought DH had a reading problem. While we drove from Texas to NYC to see daughter and our new grandson, and I discovered his mom had the same problem.
Daughter knew baby was different when he crawled from one end of a standard sized baby bed to the other at 2 days old. My son also did those kinds of things.
Thanks goodness, our daughter who is an early childhood educator was able to get help for her son very early.
We learned a lot through him. He went to school for dyslexics. He has no need for medication now, but it sure helped for a short time until we all got the hang of helping him focus.
YES. I relate 100% to the mind wandering when the eyes and hands are not busy. I was an inveterate draw-er and doodler in school because it enabled me to listen and absorb so much better. In elementary school, every one of my worksheets had a picture on the back and bless those teachers, none of them cared. I was a straight-A student, by the way. But in junior high, a teacher held up one of my back-of-the-worksheet drawings and ridiculed me in front of the class. So I switched to self-teaching Japanese and writing characters on the backs of my papers.
On the other hand, the thing about driving while listening to music or an audio book is that you don't have to respond to it and you can turn it off or down any time. If you're talking to passengers in the car, they are actually seeing what you see and tend to stop talking in critical driving moments and even call your attention to things going on in the road. If you're on the phone, though, you don't have any of that. The other person just yaks away without regard to the conditions you're driving in, and you can't easily shut them up, and you're also expected to reply without pausing. That's why phones are statistically more distracting/dangerous than listening to music or talking to a passenger.
ETA: I'm referring to non-handheld phones. Handheld phones add another level of distraction.
Ah. I guess I'm unusual then, in that if I have encountered a situation while driving that needs more of my attention, and I'm on the phone, I have NO hesitation in saying either, "Hang on, I've got to figure out where my turn is..." or "Hey it just started raining and I need to focus on driving I will call you back." And people I talk to always respond appropriately and swiftly, either shutting up or hanging up.
I'm mostly thinking about long distance highway driving, I do a lot of road trips, and if I have no passenger, and eventually I've gotten bored with the music or the audio books, getting somebody on speakerphone (my phone is in a holder thingie, I can use entirely voice commands with it) is one way I use to refresh my mind into a better state of alertness.
I don't tend to do this in town, where more things are going on around me requiring decision making and reaction. Those things are enough to keep me engaged. I know where the tipping point is...from boredom and brain-fog--> to alert and engaged --> to distracted and confused by too much input.
Just like we know when we get to a confusing place when driving and we're suddenly unsure and need to figure out where we're going, and suddenly we have the need to turn the music down or off right then. I've got no compunctions about telling someone on the phone that I need to turn the call off and focus.
sI apologize for hijacking the thread but Frank, you need to do a little more research.
I'll agree about the modern medicine part. And many rowdy kids are said to be ADHD when they are just active.
ADD goes with dyslexia. I always thought DH had a reading problem. While we drove from Texas to NYC to see daughter and our new grandson, and I discovered his mom had the same problem.
Daughter knew baby was different when he crawled from one end of a standard sized baby bed to the other at 2 days old. My son also did those kinds of things.
Thanks goodness, our daughter who is an early childhood educator was able to get help for her son very early.
We learned a lot through him. He went to school for dyslexics. He has no need for medication now, but it sure helped for a short time until we all got the hang of helping him focus.
He phones his mom weekly.
What kind of “help” is necessary for a baby that crawls father than normal?
Any time, from anywhere, I'll take their calls. It's the way the world is these days and to not adapt can make you appear demanding or needy. You're retired. You can take a call anytime. But to a younger person juggling a career, child raising, a social life and more.. time is very precious.
This was never a problem when there was one phone in the house and it was mounted on the kitchen wall.
Exactly. I refuse to carry my phone. It sits on my nightstand. If I don’t see your message or text for a few hours, oh well. And please don’t put me on speakerphone. I like to know who is listening to me.
For those saying that talking on the phone while driving is "distracted" driving, OK how about music? Do you drive in complete silence? How about holding a conversation with a passenger? Do you demand everyone ride in your car in complete silence? I sure don't. And frankly if my brain is not stimulated...and sometimes driving is very boring...then I do find it wandering, or getting drowsy. Sometimes re-engaging it via a phone conversation is just the thing to keep me alert.
you don't have to really pay attention to the music playing on your radio or even to a person talking to you in the car.
With a cell phone conversation, you do. And then those that text while driving -
Any time, from anywhere, I'll take their calls. It's the way the world is these days and to not adapt can make you appear demanding or needy. You're retired. You can take a call anytime. But to a younger person juggling a career, child raising, a social life and more.. time is very precious.
It comes down to priorities. Didn't almost all of us juggle a career, raise a child and have a social life in our younger days without making calls while driving? These things you mentioned aren't new, not one bit new.
What kind of “help” is necessary for a baby that crawls father than normal?
Help for him was provided at the appropriate time. Eye exercises, movement exercises, etc.
The mother was trained to spot developmental issues in very young children. That was just the first clue. Many 2 day old babies have different kinds of movements. Perhaps they would move more if they were not swaddled.
He was swaddled.
If you know what to look for, some learning issues can be spotted by the way kids move.
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So I switched to self-teaching Japanese and writing characters on the backs of my papers. 
