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Although I've always dreamed of relocating, specifically to the beach, upon retiring, I'm finding that having a dream is one thing and actually executing it when the time comes is another! Without getting into too much detail (it's complicated), suffice it to say I won't be completely free to make that radical a change at that time, so it comes down to a choice of staying in the same small town where I've always lived for the sake of my family and job but where there really isn't anything I like to do OR moving, in some fashion, to a city an hour-plus away. Traditionally I don't pay rent, I collect rent (I was a landlord for many years), so renting an apartment doesn't appeal. Additionally, I have pets with "issues" who would make that problematic. I've considered buying a travel trailer and living in a full-time RV park in the city, but I would have to either rent out my current house furnished or sell it and store my furniture (these are sentimental antique heirlooms I don't wish to part with), and that seems like a waste of money. I'm considering buying a property there, where I don't intend to stay, but which would put me in proximity to many hobbies and interests as well as more friends than I have in my current location with an eye toward reselling it after occupying it a couple of years (to avoid paying capital gains taxes) and then moving on to the ultimate goal once I'm free to travel and explore different potential destinations, which I am not at the moment. It sounds to me like a logical plan, but when I realistically think about the logistics of buying, selling, packing, moving (all on my own), making repairs and improvements as necessary, and then having to turn around and do it all *again* in a couple of years, I feel mentally and even physically exhausted. Add to that the danger of getting stuck with a property if I can't sell when I want to (it's not always guaranteed) and having to rent it out instead, which would be a pain and tie me to this location, and I almost have a panic attack. Yet I know if I just retire and stay in place for the next couple of years (participating in my hobbies with my friends currently requires long commutes, so I often just don't bother as frequently as I age), boredom and depression will be my lot. Stuck... Help!
Last edited by otterhere; 11-18-2019 at 12:13 PM..
No wonder you are stuck. First you narrowed your search to a very specific idea and then dread the thought of executing it.
Me..after 22 years in Texas I sold my ranch and upped and went to SC. I wanted to live by the beach again and had already lived in Florida for over 20 years and watched it change. Decided it was too crowded and too expensive for what I wanted. I looked over GA and SC and decided on the beaches of SC.
I was "homeless" for 3 months...stayed with my brother and then found a pet friendly motel in SC across the street from the beach. Worked with a realtor and found a condo that I am very happy with. I'm on the west side of the intracoastal, 10 minutes from the beach and my condo complex has 2 parking lots and a beach pavilion so I have guaranteed beach access along with bathrooms/showers, lounge area.
I came here knowing absolutely no one. Folks are around my age and very friendly.
My cats adjusted to all the moves.
It was a daring move and I can't tell you how many of my friends and family called me crazy.
It was my "next great adventure" and I'm glad I did it.
Sometimes you just gotta take the plunge and then adjust and adapt.
If all the changes feel overwhelming, it helps to break the plan down to pieces. One piece at a time. You don't know how one change will affect the future changes/plans. Day at a time. "Today I have to call___," "Today I have to confirm the plumber" etc. A good realtor should be able to help a lot- this is what they deal with regularly.
As the writer Renata Adler once said, "Sometime you have to plant a bomb where you are standing in order to move off."
One piece at a time. There will be surprises, both good and not so good. But the worst feeling would be the one you know- if you do nothing, you will be severely disappointed in yourself. And good on ya for always considering the pet(s). They were a major reason my own move was sort of complicated but they are my heart, so...
No wonder you are stuck. First you narrowed your search to a very specific idea and then dread the thought of executing it.
Me..after 22 years in Texas I sold my ranch and upped and went to SC. I wanted to live by the beach again and had already lived in Florida for over 20 years and watched it change. Decided it was too crowded and too expensive for what I wanted. I looked over GA and SC and decided on the beaches of SC.
I was "homeless" for 3 months...stayed with my brother and then found a pet friendly motel in SC across the street from the beach. Worked with a realtor and found a condo that I am very happy with. I'm on the west side of the intracoastal, 10 minutes from the beach and my condo complex has 2 parking lots and a beach pavilion so I have guaranteed beach access along with bathrooms/showers, lounge area.
I came here knowing absolutely no one. Folks are around my age and very friendly.
My cats adjusted to all the moves.
It was a daring move and I can't tell you how many of my friends and family called me crazy.
It was my "next great adventure" and I'm glad I did it.
Sometimes you just gotta take the plunge and then adjust and adapt.
I have an obligation to a loved one that I intend to honor. I don't anticipate it lasting more than two years, and it may not even last until I retire, but there's no way of knowing that. When I was dreaming all those years, I didn't foresee this development. So again, until that time, I'm not free to "just up and go" to my ultimate dream destination wherever that may be (more precisely, to "just up and go" searching for it). But kudos to you!
Last edited by otterhere; 11-18-2019 at 01:11 PM..
But the worst feeling would be the one you know- if you do nothing, you will be severely disappointed in yourself.
Would she, though?
She's turned relocation into the world's biggest drag, with phrases like:
where there really isn't anything I like to do
renting doesn't appeal
pets with issues who would make that problematic
sentimental antique heirlooms I don't wish to part with
[storage] seems like a waste of money
I realistically think about the logistics...I feel mentally and even physically exhausted.
the danger of getting stuck with a property
having to rent it out instead, which would be a pain and tie me to this location, and I almost have a panic attack.
Versus:
boredom and depression.
She makes boredom and depression sound like a viable and even desirable alternative. Certainly it would be a lot less work! I'm only half-joking here.
We've heard this negative self-talk from otterhere before. The key to turning this around is to change your self-talk.
There once was a woman who stupidly locked herself out of her house. She knew a second-floor balcony slider was unlocked, though. So she got a ladder and started climbing it, scared. She said to herself, "I'm going to fall. I'm going to fall. I'm going to fall." She stopped climbing and in that moment realized she was going to fall because she was manifesting it with her self-talk. She started saying to herself, "I'm NOT going to fall. I'm NOT going to fall." She resumed climbing, reached the top, pulled herself over the balcony railing and re-entered her house.
Changing someone else's negative self-talk to positive is beyond my pay grade, but a good therapist can help.
I have an obligation to a loved one that I intend to honor. I don't anticipate it lasting more than two years, and it may not even last until I retire, but there's no way of knowing that. When I was dreaming all those years, I didn't anticipate this development. So again, until that time, I'm not free to "just up and go" to my ultimate dream destination wherever that may be (more precisely, to "just up and go" searching for it).
Well I'm assuming here that you wouldn't plan/do anything until that obligation has been fulfilled.
And if you have 2 years until you retire then spend that time planning and exploring via google.
I spent a year exploring the coastline from Jacksonville up through North Myrtle Beach. I knew I did not want NC. During that year I got my home ready for sale...painting and purging.
I looked at taxes, demographics of the various beach towns, Zillow RE for sale, local news, weather and then used google maps to wander the streets.
I have an obligation to a loved one that I intend to honor. I don't anticipate it lasting more than two years, and it may not even last until I retire, but there's no way of knowing that. ....
That is honorable of you. Gives you time to do whatever legwork or homework you might do around all sorts of ideas. I spent a lot of my last quiet shifts at work looking for everything imaginable at the place I was considering moving to. I had financial/Medicare constraints about retirement, but when the time came, my ducks were pretty much lined up. Except for losing my wallet and but one credit card and $600 the night before leaving, and then having my new car broken into the first night on the road and my bag of other necessities stolen. It was daunting but you just pick up where you have to and do whatever. Having the time to research stuff (price of this, availability of that, review of realtor on and on) is a great way to ruminate positively). And good on ya for honoring your commitment.
If all the changes feel overwhelming, it helps to break the plan down to pieces. One piece at a time. You don't know how one change will affect the future changes/plans. Day at a time. "Today I have to call___," "Today I have to confirm the plumber" etc. A good realtor should be able to help a lot- this is what they deal with regularly.
As the writer Renata Adler once said, "Sometime you have to plant a bomb where you are standing in order to move off."
One piece at a time. There will be surprises, both good and not so good. But the worst feeling would be the one you know- if you do nothing, you will be severely disappointed in yourself. And good on ya for always considering the pet(s). They were a major reason my own move was sort of complicated but they are my heart, so...
Do I take this as a vote to buy a house in this area rather than wait for the ultimate move? I'll also be "severely disappointed in myself" if doing so creates more problems than it solves!
Well I'm assuming here that you wouldn't plan/do anything until that obligation has been fulfilled.
And if you have 2 years until you retire then spend that time planning and exploring via google.
I spent a year exploring the coastline from Jacksonville up through North Myrtle Beach. I knew I did not want NC. During that year I got my home ready for sale...painting and purging.
I looked at taxes, demographics of the various beach towns, Zillow RE for sale, local news, weather and then used google maps to wander the streets.
I'm retiring sooner (in a matter of months). The two-year time frame comes in if I buy a house in this area for temporary use; you have to owner-occupy for that length of time to avoid CGT when you sell.
I don't think I've explained this very well. Told you it was complicated!
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