U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-13-2019, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,928 posts, read 4,928,765 times
Reputation: 20016

Advertisements

Basing your opinion of what someone is "really like" on how they were in high school doesn't really work to me. In high school we were still kids, living off our parents, not having to know and understand one tenth of what we do as adults. I like to think that most of us grew up and were able to see things in a more mature way. It's not selling out to become an adult with more serious thoughts and a more considered perspective.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-13-2019, 12:40 PM
 
Location: planet earth
5,166 posts, read 1,968,070 times
Reputation: 11372
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
Basing your opinion of what someone is "really like" on how they were in high school doesn't really work to me. In high school we were still kids, living off our parents, not having to know and understand one tenth of what we do as adults. I like to think that most of us grew up and were able to see things in a more mature way. It's not selling out to become an adult with more serious thoughts and a more considered perspective.
I knew someone would have this response. This is a common perspective. It's hard to communicate in a few words what I mean - in high school there was little pretense - as people need to survive they put on masks, and sometimes these masks take over their entire essence, so that there is nothing much to relate to . . . if you don't "get" it, you don't "get" it.

It's not about linear growth.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2019, 01:30 PM
Status: "Send HIM back- to Queens!" (set 28 days ago)
 
Location: Eureka CA
8,384 posts, read 11,216,684 times
Reputation: 12764
It certainly hasn't been a big issue in my life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2019, 01:34 PM
 
Location: planet earth
5,166 posts, read 1,968,070 times
Reputation: 11372
Quote:
Originally Posted by eureka1 View Post
It certainly hasn't been a big issue in my life.
Congrats!

But you might be one of "them!"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2019, 01:56 PM
 
Location: the Old Dominion
309 posts, read 156,616 times
Reputation: 1470
Default ...The Games People Play - Joe South...

I have been told several times that what you see is what you get applies to me. I began to notice that it was I who would initiate introductions. Of late I am less inclined to be honest (as opposed to trustworthy) with people. Also, I see more and more how people put up a front and keep it up long after making acquaintances.
Two things: I have joy in my life and it is not based on others. People are generally phoney. Does not make them bad people - that is simply the way things are.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2019, 02:34 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
1,793 posts, read 799,592 times
Reputation: 4579
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
By "fake," for the purposes of this thread, I am mainly talking about people who present one way and you KNOW they are probably "other" ways in the core of their personalities.
Oh. I thought you meant androids or aliens in human form.


Never mind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2019, 03:57 PM
 
3,933 posts, read 1,531,967 times
Reputation: 7722
"Are you satisfied with living on the surface and not having deep, undefended exchanges?"
for the most part, yes.
only my wife knows some things.

"Just wondering if most people miss interacting with people in more "honest" (meaning genuine) ways?"
i miss being 11 years old when we would actually talk this way with our friends.
but, i would have to endure a lot of "poopy-headed" insults to get there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2019, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
18,043 posts, read 54,559,081 times
Reputation: 30814
Quote:
Originally Posted by adjusterjack View Post
Oh. I thought you meant androids or aliens in human form.


Never mind.
I think I count as "alien."

Using the word "fake" to describe people doesn't really work and makes me suspect the OP doesn't understand some of the basics of psychology. People have various personae that are pulled out for various situations. Stuck in traffic and have to be somewhere? One persona might dominate and swear a blue streak. Meeting the queen? Another persona and way of being comes to the forefront. Interacting with strangers in a social situation? A wary and conservative persona might be most appropriate. None of those are "fake," but are simply parts of a multifaceted person.

Some people don't like to let others come close to innermost thoughts. Some people happily live the unexamined life. Some people just don't have a clue. Some people don't want to take a chance on hurting another person's feelings, some may hold an active dislike but be good at camouflaging it. A lot of people are simply uninteresting and uninspired at some level.

Attempting to discuss meaningful subjects with others is a challenge. Discussion means that the conversation is not a diatribe, it means that one doesn't dominate the other, it means that what it brought into conversation is seriously considered and not dismissed out of hand. People who have been trapped by "lecturers" for hours on end may want to avoid such interactions at all cost.

In conversation, a lot of folks are most comfortable with "mirrors;" people who grew up in the same culture and hold similar views. Some cultures actively promote shunning those who are not of the same faith or mindset. Some cultures have a natural dissonance. None of that is "fake," it is just part of the variety of human experience.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2019, 04:49 PM
 
Location: planet earth
5,166 posts, read 1,968,070 times
Reputation: 11372
Quote:
Originally Posted by adjusterjack View Post
Oh. I thought you meant androids or aliens in human form.


Never mind.
There are other "fakes" this thread was not about (people who get plastic surgery, drive cars they can't afford, etc.)

My interest today is about people who presented one way in younger years (which you witnessed), but changed over the years and adopted a mask - so that now they are incapable of true social exchange.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2019, 07:02 PM
 
1,217 posts, read 299,385 times
Reputation: 2496
Sales Weasels
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top