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Old 08-13-2019, 09:23 PM
 
2,625 posts, read 5,355,280 times
Reputation: 5312

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Not many, but then I haven't been in management.
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Old 08-13-2019, 09:27 PM
 
644 posts, read 413,788 times
Reputation: 3713
As an Autistic person, I have to put on a mask around non-Autistic people most of the time. I don't feel wrong about doing so, because, for one thing, it keeps me safer. And also, though they may not be consciously aware of it, most non-Autistic people, from my perspective, only seem to accept each other if their masks are fake and fancy enough.

Before I found out that I was not "alone" and that there was a name for my "creative" neurology, I felt sorry for myself. I so wanted to stop being so lonely.

Now, having regular contact with other Autistic people,in many ways I feel sorry for people who are not Autistic. For example, a very dear friend of mine is going to be in Denver next week. I am super excited to see her again, and I have not given a thought to how her "changes" will effect me. The last, and ONLY time I have met her was nearly 10 years ago. At an Autistic support group. We talked for maybe 20 minutes, but the "bond" was made. She is, and always will be, one of my most special friends.

I think of the movie "Avatar," and there are the spoken words, "I see you." that most people are familiar with. And I understand their meaning so perfectly,[ I strongly suspect that whoever came up with that line is A utistic] because, when 2 people communicate, in trust, with no pretensions, that unbreakable, everlasting bond can be forged in a 20 minute conversation.

I know that both of us have gone through some real hard stuff since we last saw each other, but we will both be comfortable seeing each others new scars and raw spots, rejoicing in seeing healed wounds, and excited about both new perseverations and progress on old ones.

Trying to put myself in a non- Autistic persons' place- and based on my own few friendships with "Neurotypical" people- I would suggest bringling up some memories with them and spend some time "reliving" them as you never could with anyone else. No matter how much they have "changed", those memories of "being" who you were to each other, still are parts of both of your existences. Enjoy that. Parts of who we are never change.
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Old 08-13-2019, 09:42 PM
 
Location: SoCal
13,845 posts, read 6,602,302 times
Reputation: 10434
I live in SoCal, lots of fake people, have you watched the show “Botched”, I watched it recently and it’s very scary.
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Old 08-14-2019, 12:42 AM
 
Location: Old Mother Idaho
21,712 posts, read 14,578,808 times
Reputation: 16075
I'm not sure there are very many folks who are fake all the way through. I think there are lots of folks who are wannabes, though; they may think their lives are drab or uninteresting to others, so they try to present themselves as someone they would like to be, thinking that who they are isn't sufficient.

I've always been pretty self-secure with who I am or not, and I'm pretty gregarious. Meeting and getting to know strangers has always been easy for me.
I've found that once people drop their masks of who they would like to be, they are much more substantial than they believe they are.
Some of my best friends first came on as irritating fakes, but once I got to know them, they were much different, and much better people.

But I've also met a few sociopaths and narcissists, and those people need to keep their fake front up all the time. Their true selves are something to run away from as fast as possible.

And, for a fact, there are some people who are shallow, fake, and wannabe all the way down to the bottom. They are all superficial, out there on the surface, and have very little interior life going on at all.
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Old 08-14-2019, 03:54 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,932 posts, read 5,047,801 times
Reputation: 17586
Fake people:

-Most Politicians
-Most Preachers and religious nuts
-Way too many bosses
-Sales people
-Celebrities
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Old 08-14-2019, 04:12 AM
 
Location: Cebu, Philippines
4,645 posts, read 1,795,622 times
Reputation: 8598
Those of who are Aspergers can spot fakes. We cannot read body language. Nearly everyone's body language is learned and practiced posturing, but we see right through it.

We also know when we are faking, we have to do it all the time, to fit into normal society.


(I wrote this before I read Vicky's Post 22.)
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Old 08-14-2019, 04:27 AM
 
1,483 posts, read 713,859 times
Reputation: 4720
Quote:
Originally Posted by vicky3vicky View Post
As an Autistic person, I have to put on a mask around non-Autistic people most of the time. I don't feel wrong about doing so, because, for one thing, it keeps me safer. And also, though they may not be consciously aware of it, most non-Autistic people, from my perspective, only seem to accept each other if their masks are fake and fancy enough.

Before I found out that I was not "alone" and that there was a name for my "creative" neurology, I felt sorry for myself. I so wanted to stop being so lonely.

Now, having regular contact with other Autistic people,in many ways I feel sorry for people who are not Autistic. For example, a very dear friend of mine is going to be in Denver next week. I am super excited to see her again, and I have not given a thought to how her "changes" will effect me. The last, and ONLY time I have met her was nearly 10 years ago. At an Autistic support group. We talked for maybe 20 minutes, but the "bond" was made. She is, and always will be, one of my most special friends.

I think of the movie "Avatar," and there are the spoken words, "I see you." that most people are familiar with. And I understand their meaning so perfectly,[ I strongly suspect that whoever came up with that line is A utistic] because, when 2 people communicate, in trust, with no pretensions, that unbreakable, everlasting bond can be forged in a 20 minute conversation.

I know that both of us have gone through some real hard stuff since we last saw each other, but we will both be comfortable seeing each others new scars and raw spots, rejoicing in seeing healed wounds, and excited about both new perseverations and progress on old ones.

Trying to put myself in a non- Autistic persons' place- and based on my own few friendships with "Neurotypical" people- I would suggest bringling up some memories with them and spend some time "reliving" them as you never could with anyone else. No matter how much they have "changed", those memories of "being" who you were to each other, still are parts of both of your existences. Enjoy that. Parts of who we are never change.
My daughter works with Autistic children in school. She loves all her kids. She would not trade, them for anything in the world.
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Old 08-14-2019, 05:21 AM
 
3,817 posts, read 3,186,249 times
Reputation: 8176
Quote:
Originally Posted by vicky3vicky View Post
As an Autistic person, I have to put on a mask around non-Autistic people most of the time. I don't feel wrong about doing so, because, for one thing, it keeps me safer. And also, though they may not be consciously aware of it, most non-Autistic people, from my perspective, only seem to accept each other if their masks are fake and fancy enough.

Before I found out that I was not "alone" and that there was a name for my "creative" neurology, I felt sorry for myself. I so wanted to stop being so lonely.

Now, having regular contact with other Autistic people,in many ways I feel sorry for people who are not Autistic. For example, a very dear friend of mine is going to be in Denver next week. I am super excited to see her again, and I have not given a thought to how her "changes" will effect me. The last, and ONLY time I have met her was nearly 10 years ago. At an Autistic support group. We talked for maybe 20 minutes, but the "bond" was made. She is, and always will be, one of my most special friends.

I think of the movie "Avatar," and there are the spoken words, "I see you." that most people are familiar with. And I understand their meaning so perfectly,[ I strongly suspect that whoever came up with that line is A utistic] because, when 2 people communicate, in trust, with no pretensions, that unbreakable, everlasting bond can be forged in a 20 minute conversation.

I know that both of us have gone through some real hard stuff since we last saw each other, but we will both be comfortable seeing each others new scars and raw spots, rejoicing in seeing healed wounds, and excited about both new perseverations and progress on old ones.

Trying to put myself in a non- Autistic persons' place- and based on my own few friendships with "Neurotypical" people- I would suggest bringling up some memories with them and spend some time "reliving" them as you never could with anyone else. No matter how much they have "changed", those memories of "being" who you were to each other, still are parts of both of your existences. Enjoy that. Parts of who we are never change.
Thank you for this insight. You're right about our masks. I think it's pretty rare for non-autistic people to interact openly unless they have developed some sort of relationship with the other person. I also think most people will deny that. It's hard to break out of our learned behavior and just be ourselves.
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Old 08-14-2019, 09:12 AM
 
7,089 posts, read 1,523,845 times
Reputation: 17527
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vision67 View Post
Fake people:

-Most Politicians
-Most Preachers and religious nuts
-Way too many bosses
-Sales people
-Celebrities
I agree (except for some preachers and virtually all religious nuts) and I repped you, although I would have added the word "MOST" before each category. Still, I think the overwhelming majority in each category are present a fake front most of the time in their jobs, at least, although perhaps not elsewhere.

In my experience, true"religious nuts" truly are fervent in their beliefs -- they truly believe every word they say. (Which actually frightens me, that people can be so deluded.)
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Old 08-14-2019, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
32,230 posts, read 20,325,858 times
Reputation: 46539
I wouldn't judge someone as fake because they do not want to have "deep" conversations with me. Heck, I have no interest in having "deep" conversations with lots of people, I pretty much keep those conversations among my close friends and family.

Plus, I believe people do/can change a lot from who they were in high school, that doesn't make them fake, that just means they grew as a person, which I HOPE would be the case.
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