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Old 08-21-2019, 08:13 PM
 
803 posts, read 222,098 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BBCjunkie View Post

But the "where" of my final resting place was important for me to choose myself rather than have anyone else decide. It took me almost a year to find a cemetery I liked that had a gravesite location that I liked. And I wanted something a little different and more personal than the typical generic headstone. The stonemason duplicated a specific floral decoration that I gave them, and incorporated a poetry line that I wrote myself.
Sounds neat!
I had an elderly friend who from time to time used to mention their final resting place.
Years went by ... and now it is very comforting to go and visit my friend from time to time exactly where they said they would be.
A sense of certain certainty in an uncertain life...
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:25 PM
 
803 posts, read 222,098 times
Reputation: 2101
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
I don't.

If I care about my spouse, kids, grandkids? I don't have any of those.

I'd like to find a worthy person to leave my estate (such as it would be) to. A hardworking person who has had it rough, but is managing well enough, but could use a leg up to do better in life. I don't know anyone like that.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Sounds like winning a lottery for someone and as we all know having money changes people.
A disproportionate number of lottery winners end up addicted, imprisoned, impoverished shortly there after and even dead as a result- in turmoil.

Why not establish a scholarship in your name to be given to ( insert your criteria here) every year - so many hardworking people can benefit. It could be for a student in school or college, studying math or biology or playing piano- you pick.
Or to a research facility/ non- profit for defeating dreadful diseases...
One of my friends son died at age 14 from one of the cancer- many, many years ago. They established a foundation to do research and fight that particular childhood cancer. It was a very successful research
Nowadays- this type of cancer is almost always survivable..
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,455 posts, read 3,796,313 times
Reputation: 4282
Quote:
Originally Posted by ysr_racer View Post
I don't want to scare anybody, but we're all nearing an age when "we won't be here any longer". If you care about your spouse, kids, and grandkids, talk to an attorney and get your affairs in order.

Update the beneficiaries on any accounts that have them.

A will or a trust ensures your wishes are carried out "after you're not here any longer" (hopefully, if it's written correctly). It wouldn't hurt to consolidate any accounts you have at different institutions, to just one.

While were taking about consolidating, you probably don't need check registers or electric bills from 20 years ago. When my father died we shredded boxes and boxes of old paperwork, that was of no use to anybody.

And my final bit of advice is, if you have a favorite momento that you want a child or grandchild to have, GIVE IT TO THEM WHILE YOU'RE STILL L ALIVE. It ensures they get it, and the happiness it brings both of you will last forever.
Make up a book of all your assets and debts, notes on what you want done and make your funeral arrangements. The funeral arrangements will be appreciated.

If you are thinking you do not need a will it will make life a lot easier for who every has to do the estate paperwork. Your gift to them.

Last edited by rjm1cc; 08-21-2019 at 08:42 PM..
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:54 PM
 
Location: Rust'n in Tustin
2,386 posts, read 2,490,674 times
Reputation: 4550
Quote:
Originally Posted by psichick View Post
Nah, not morbid, just life. But to answer your question, everything goes to me. .
No you misunderstood me. What happens when your husband passes, then you pass? Where do your assets go?
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:58 PM
 
Location: Rust'n in Tustin
2,386 posts, read 2,490,674 times
Reputation: 4550
Quote:
Originally Posted by rjm1cc View Post
If you are thinking you do not need a will then...
If you are thinking you don't need a will, then you're wrong. Unless you want your heirs cursing you after you're gone.

If you want your heirs to think fondly of you after you're gone, a will, trust, power of attorney, medical directive is the way to accomplish it.

But hey, it's your choice.
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Old 08-21-2019, 09:08 PM
 
5,170 posts, read 2,531,827 times
Reputation: 4684
Quote:
Originally Posted by ysr_racer View Post
My wife and I went on a major purge of our house and garage. We threw out so much useless junk, that we now have more room to get more useless junk

My wife has a lot of figurines and Chachkies (a yiddish word for trinkets and collectables, AKA crap that you would find in an old lady's house). She's asked our daughter, daughter in-law, and grand daughter if they want any of them now.

All three said "no"
Trinkets are a bit of a weird thing. If they've been around for more than one generation, it is a responsibility to look after it. That's something that many will argue against, but that is simply because they've never actually been in the position of having to take responsibility for old stuff that needs to be protected as heritage. If the next 3 generations don't want the responsibility, what then?

Even if it is spelled out in a Will that someone will take responsibility, some will still interpret that as they choose, meaning it might simply be lost, destroyed, or cashed in.

In any case, a general statement of wishes is maybe the best option - such as: everything divided equally with each heir making choices when it comes to the little stuff. What is left must be re-homed.
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Old 08-21-2019, 09:37 PM
 
26,335 posts, read 33,329,025 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trekker99 View Post
I'm in that 'stuck in the middle' generation where I AM taking care of my parents, and still have kids in college.
Been there done that. My son is out of college and self supporting now, and we have a care-giver for my parents,, but will probably have to hire a full-time one soon. My parents had their lawyer take care of all the will/medical stuff a few years back.

I haven't had a will done yet - I keep meaning to. My son will be the only recipient of what I leave, so it's not too worrisome I don't think.
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Old 08-21-2019, 09:54 PM
 
5,170 posts, read 2,531,827 times
Reputation: 4684
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Been there done that. My son is out of college and self supporting now, and we have a care-giver for my parents,, but will probably have to hire a full-time one soon. My parents had their lawyer take care of all the will/medical stuff a few years back.

I haven't had a will done yet - I keep meaning to. My son will be the only recipient of what I leave, so it's not too worrisome I don't think.
At the very least, write a holographic will. Date, address, hand written, signed, no witnesses. If you have only one child, add that name to all your assets with guarantee that you are solely responsible for costs while you are above ground. It helps with probate after you're gone. If more than one child, don't add names to your assets.
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Old 08-21-2019, 10:29 PM
 
Location: Rust'n in Tustin
2,386 posts, read 2,490,674 times
Reputation: 4550
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lieneke View Post
At the very least, write a holographic will. Date, address, hand written, signed, no witnesses. If you have only one child, add that name to all your assets with guarantee that you are solely responsible for costs while you are above ground. It helps with probate after you're gone. If more than one child, don't add names to your assets.
Christ more bad information. Sure, put your son on the deed to your house, what could go wrong?

Let's see, he gets married then divorced. Or how about if he kills or injures someone in a car accident?

For the love of God people, don't take any advice on this thread from anybody even me. SEE AN ATTORNEY, EVERYBODY'S SITUATION IS DIFFERENT.
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Old 08-21-2019, 10:33 PM
 
5,170 posts, read 2,531,827 times
Reputation: 4684
Quote:
Originally Posted by ysr_racer View Post
Christ more bad information. Sure, put your son on the deed to your house, what could go wrong?

Let's see, he gets married then divorced. Or how about if he kills or injures someone in a car accident?

For the love of God people, don't take any advice on this thread from anybody even me. SEE AN ATTORNEY, EVERYBODY'S SITUATION IS DIFFERENT.
Indeed. Apologies. Don't take advice from anyone on a discussion forum. I overlooked the possibility of complicated families.
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