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Old Yesterday, 11:47 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,903 posts, read 40,396,463 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by athena53 View Post
Before DH died we agreed on cremation. In-ground burial just seemed insanely expensive, and why use embalming and cement vaults to "protect" a body you no longer needed? ....
Direct burial / composting / open air burial (per thread topic) is not expensive, you can rent a backhoe for $125. Or have a friend with a backhoe dig you a hole. No Casket, no vault, no embalming (if done withing 72 hrs).

Cremation better be agreed and signed, (while living). One sibling / direct family can protest cremation and you are 'stuck' with a 'body'. Thus I still keep the backhoe around.

Most states / funeral homes will have a cremation agreement to sign. Keep it on the fridge!
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Old Yesterday, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Grove City, Ohio
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We're both devout Catholics where I go to church at least once a week but sometimes two or three times is not unusual. My wife attends church almost daily.

It is something we talked and we're both going to be cremated and buried together in a Catholic cemetery. I don't care where or how just that we are together.

Quote:
Can you have a Catholic funeral if you are cremated?

The Church requires that the cremated remains be either buried in the ground in a cemetery or placed in a mausoleum or columbarium, preferably in a Catholic cemetery. ... Other practices such as commingling cremated remains or dividing up cremated remains among family members or friends are not acceptable for Catholics.
Quote:
An average casket costs between $2,000-$5,000 and is typically either metal or a cheaper wood, but some caskets can sell for as much as $10,000 or more.
That is just stupid. I do NOT want my wife to spend that sort of money to put me into a box for 48 hours only to burn it up or bury it. Crazy nuts!

With both of us in our 70's I suppose we should go look for where we end up....

That said I plan to live to see 140 so I got 69 more years before I really have to deal with it all.
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Old Yesterday, 02:46 PM
 
Location: R.I.
1,044 posts, read 634,644 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
We're both devout Catholics where I go to church at least once a week but sometimes two or three times is not unusual. My wife attends church almost daily.

It is something we talked and we're both going to be cremated and buried together in a Catholic cemetery. I don't care where or how just that we are together.





That is just stupid. I do NOT want my wife to spend that sort of money to put me into a box for 48 hours only to burn it up or bury it. Crazy nuts!

With both of us in our 70's I suppose we should go look for where we end up....

That said I plan to live to see 140 so I got 69 more years before I really have to deal with it all.

I am a cradle Catholic and gave my late cradle Catholic husband a Catholic funeral in 2001. One of my closest and dearest friends of > 30 years is a RC priest and was the pastor of our church at the time of my husband's death. Although my husband was not cremated, when I contacted the Catholic church in my town which is not our church but the one that oversees the Catholic cemetery in my town which is owned by the Diocese what they wanted for both either a casket plot and cremation plot was crazy expensive. That being said, and not sure if you are aware but Catholics do not have to be buried in a Catholic cemetery. All that is required is that the ground where your casket or contained cremated remains are buried is in ground consecrated by a RC priest. So I opted to purchase a 4 person plot that also has room for cremated remains in the lovely town cemetery overlooking the bay where my husband, both parents, and cremated remains of my sister's late husband are buried and where she and I will eventually end up. The ground was consecrated by my priest friend who did the funeral and burial rites of all family now buried in this plot. That being said and you being a Veteran you should check out your local Veterans cemetery where both you and your wife can be buried at no cost for the plot.
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Old Yesterday, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Grove City, Ohio
10,181 posts, read 12,489,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightengale212 View Post
I am a cradle Catholic and gave my late cradle Catholic husband a Catholic funeral in 2001. One of my closest and dearest friends of > 30 years is a RC priest and was the pastor of our church at the time of my husband's death. Although my husband was not cremated, when I contacted the Catholic church in my town which is not our church but the one that oversees the Catholic cemetery in my town which is owned by the Diocese what they wanted for both either a casket plot and cremation plot was crazy expensive. That being said, and not sure if you are aware but Catholics do not have to be buried in a Catholic cemetery. All that is required is that the ground where your casket or contained cremated remains are buried is in ground consecrated by a RC priest. So I opted to purchase a 4 person plot that also has room for cremated remains in the lovely town cemetery overlooking the bay where my husband, both parents, and cremated remains of my sister's late husband are buried and where she and I will eventually end up. The ground was consecrated by my priest friend who did the funeral and burial rites of all family now buried in this plot. That being said and you being a Veteran you should check out your local Veterans cemetery where both you and your wife can be buried at no cost for the plot.
Thank you for reminding me of that. As long as my wife and I are together I don't care where we end up.

Just curious, what are plots going for these days?
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Old Today, 02:32 AM
 
Location: R.I.
1,044 posts, read 634,644 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
Thank you for reminding me of that. As long as my wife and I are together I don't care where we end up.

Just curious, what are plots going for these days?

It can depend on the cemetery. In 2001 the 4 person/4 urn plot I purchased in the town cemetery was $3,500. My SO's mother purchased a 2 person plot when his father died in 2007 at the Catholic cemetery in her town for a little less than I paid for the 4 person/4 urn plot.

My late husband was 49 when he died and I 44, and at that stage in our lives planning for the deaths of each other was not a topic we were seriously discussing. And with him dying suddenly I had to go with what I thought he would have wanted. That being said if you haven't already, now that both you and your wife are > 70 it is a good time to have that talk and get things in order so that the survivor has more answers than questions regarding last wishes.
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Old Today, 02:45 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,903 posts, read 40,396,463 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightengale212 View Post
... if you haven't already, now that both you and your wife are > 70 it is a good time to have that talk and get things in order so that the survivor has more answers than questions regarding last wishes.
Here are some 'tutorials', to get the conversation started.

https://funerals.org/consumers/
https://www.funeralbasics.org/funera...ing-checklist/
https://www.everplans.com/articles/c...morial-service

Be SURE to have Advanced Directive handy (one for each state if you live on a border and might be hospitalized on the wrong side!), Our neighboring states are VERY different in Advanced Directive specific phrasing requirements. (Medical services on both sides of border)
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Old Today, 06:00 AM
 
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
2,504 posts, read 3,719,861 times
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We plan on being cremated and have an Indoor Vault to accept our remains. My wife says to just place the cardboard box containing her remains in the Vault. Call me a spend-thrift but I would rather have my remains placed in an inexpensive (<$200) urn, then placed in the Vault.

The Vault could become multi-generational as we were told it can hold over 100 cremains.
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Old Today, 06:19 AM
 
2,425 posts, read 850,870 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
That is just stupid. I do NOT want my wife to spend that sort of money to put me into a box for 48 hours only to burn it up or bury it. Crazy nuts!
A casket was not required for cremation after DH died. We're in MO.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
Cremation better be agreed and signed, (while living). One sibling / direct family can protest cremation and you are 'stuck' with a 'body'. Thus I still keep the backhoe around.
It must depend upon the state- or the relatives. In DH's last months I visited the mortuary and arranged everything so that all I had to do was call them after he died. No one else had to consent. He did have children by a previous marriage and they knew of our plans. A friend told me his brother died suddenly of a heart attack and his widow quickly had hm cremated without anyone else's knowledge. It was quite a shock to him, his siblings and their father.

Can anyone protest a cremation even if the next-of-kin wants it?

Last edited by athena53; Today at 06:28 AM..
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Old Today, 09:16 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,890 posts, read 6,633,840 times
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I thought Indian has sky burial where they left the dead corpse to be eaten by vultures, at least that’s what one of my I Dian colleagues used to tell me.
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Old Today, 10:54 AM
 
7,598 posts, read 8,803,999 times
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Just a few days ago my friend told me she's making plans to have her body encased in a "mushroom suit" and be buried for composting; she's in the research stage. I asked about cremation instead and she was aghast as that pollutes.
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