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Old 08-22-2019, 04:21 PM
 
819 posts, read 228,981 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
I don't celebrate my birthday. I don't remember any birthday parties from my childhood, to the extent I may have had some. Or a cake or anything. So no bad birthdays or good birthdays. It was no birthdays, I think. So I never celebrated it as an adult. I find it odd that adults do that, actually.
When is your next birthday?
We need to make it up to you- at least once!
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Old 08-22-2019, 04:23 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
3,022 posts, read 2,093,165 times
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Wow, after reading all of these accounts, I have to wonder if there's some hidden stress with birthdays because we set our expectations so high, which leads to a feeling of needless pressure and then disappointment and even depression when the day falls short...sometimes way short.
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Old 08-22-2019, 04:42 PM
 
263 posts, read 130,170 times
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This is another trivial one, but it still is the "worst."

I was still married to my ex. Birthdays weren't a huge deal, but we basically had a nice meal, etc. Even though it was my birthday, I had to prepare it. That was ok, though, because I would make all of my favorite foods.

So I asked my college-aged daughter if she would be home for dinner that night. (She lived at home.) She said, "No, it's somebody's birthday at [her boyfriend's] house."

I can't explain how much that hurt. I quietly said, "It's somebody's birthday here, too." She quickly changed her plans and called her father to make sure he remembered. He didn't.

That isn't why I divorced, but it is part of the pattern that led to it.
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Old 08-22-2019, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Austin
12,454 posts, read 7,089,734 times
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Probably my 30th birthday was the worst birthday because of buying into the prevalent hype that youth was the best time of life and 30 years old was the end of youth. Society had predicted life was downhill after 30 years old. LOL.

I found out fairly soon that under 30, youth, was NOT the best time of life, not even close. Each decade older was better than the previous decade and now is the best decade.... Hopefully, that trend will continue.

Last edited by texan2yankee; 08-22-2019 at 04:58 PM..
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Old 08-22-2019, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Winterpeg
920 posts, read 354,810 times
Reputation: 3805
My husband and I never made too much of a deal out of our birthdays. But my 50th was one I was looking forward to, and my dh said he had a surprise planned. I eventually figured out that it would likely include our 22 year old daughter flying in for the weekend, after not seeing each other for a year. Which she did, and I was tickled about that. I had also hoped we would do something fun, like renting a cabin on a lake or going for a road trip somewhere. Nope, what happened was my super-high maintenance, lazy sister tagged along with my daughter, and basically ruined the whole weekend for us all. My husband apologized over and over, because my sister did this without giving him any options, just said she was coming with our daughter (they lived in the same city). I know how she is, so I have never blamed him. That was a couple of years ago, and it's still kind of a bummer.
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Old 08-22-2019, 10:52 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
16,567 posts, read 5,438,675 times
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On the day gefore my birthday my only sibling - a brother - died of cirrhosis of the liver after a long struggle with alcoholism. I had spent the night before at his bedside watching his life slip away. To make things worse, this happened less than two before Christmas. I don't remember much about that holiday season.
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Old 08-22-2019, 11:12 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
1,447 posts, read 2,602,271 times
Reputation: 2595
1981 - got my wisdom teeth removed.

2014 - my husband completely forgot my birthday until the minute we turned out the lights to go to sleep. Oh! And there had been a big birthday shindig at work for one our senior administrators, which I dutifully attended and smiled through, when all I really wanted to do was holler “where’s my #&*! cake?!”

2015 - once I caught on in 2016 to husband’s shenanigans that started the year prior, I went back through all my gathered “evidence” and realized that on my birthday in 2015 I had spent a long day driving to meet my dad for some cancer MD appointments, and my husband had taken the opportunity of my absence to gleefully spend hours on the phone with the woman he was then pursuing. Bright side: dad had excellent results at his appointments.

2016 - I was still in the early weeks of unwinding husband’s infidelity (hadn’t let him or anyone know I was on to him). My mom sent me a cute card, and inside she had written how she didn’t understand how I could choose to abandon her and that she guessed I just didn’t want to make her life easier and “hope your birthday is everything you want it to be.” (Mom is a bit dramatic with the BPD)

2018 - had caught on to the second round of husband’s infidelity, and he was leaving on my birthday for a cross-country trip. I was already planning to exit the marriage, but took the opportunity to tell him what I wanted for my birthday was for him to not be taking us back to the place we were in 2016. He swore there was nothing going on. But there was, and he didn’t slow down for a minute.

So, take your pick!

(I should add that 2019 was spent quietly on my own without any drama)

Last edited by jakabedy; 08-22-2019 at 11:25 PM..
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Old 08-23-2019, 06:59 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
8,251 posts, read 5,051,526 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jakabedy View Post
2016 - I was still in the early weeks of unwinding husband’s infidelity (hadn’t let him or anyone know I was on to him). My mom sent me a cute card, and inside she had written how she didn’t understand how I could choose to abandon her and that she guessed I just didn’t want to make her life easier and “hope your birthday is everything you want it to be.” (Mom is a bit dramatic with the BPD)
Your mention of a birthday card reminded me of the one my ex gave me, although at the time he had no clue he was about to become the ex:

"Even though you're one year closer to death's embrace, I still love you."

He was then spending every evening and weekend away from home. This had already gone on for months when I begged him to just once stay home on my birthday so we could have dinner together. He refused. I got that lovely card instead.

He still blames me for breaking up "his" marriage.

Quote:
(I should add that 2019 was spent quietly on my own without any drama)
Good for you!
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Old 08-23-2019, 08:21 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,958 posts, read 6,677,472 times
Reputation: 10590
That’s horrible. I forbade my sister to send anymore birthday card with joke about old age, she made a habit of it for a few years. What’s wrong with just a happy birthday card.
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Old 08-23-2019, 08:33 AM
 
1,852 posts, read 667,476 times
Reputation: 1967
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
Do you realize you are posting to the same poster who started so many how many threads. He is no longer a member. I think it’s a robot minding our data.

Wow. That leads me to ask: can anyone tell what a potential is of this website being infiltrated by spyware that can break into other files on your cellphone? I know this is not a secure website (ie, is not preceded by https://), so anyone minimally skilled in Internet programming can see all the traffic on this site (ie, the IP addresses, and even the passwords!), but what else can be done with posts on an insecure website such as this one? Anyone more knowledgeable about this willing to comment?
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