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Old 08-26-2019, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
24,188 posts, read 18,006,592 times
Reputation: 28437

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Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61nyc View Post
and then they die.


so most here have probably heard my story so I apologize if I've told you before.

2013 lost my husband of 30 years at age 51 to cancer
2014 lost my baby brother to cancer, age 52
2015 lost my best friend of over 40 years to a heart attack.


talk about a wake up call, I seriously thought I was cursed for a few years. anyhoo I watched all of these people work like dogs, scrimp and save for some unknown "future" because every single message now is BE AFRAID, BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID.

not one of them got to enjoy one day or one dime of their money.

Hell to the naw. I'm done. retiring next year March 1st god willing. I leave for two weeks in Greece on hte 13th and yep I'm spending the dough to go first class.

And you know what?? if at 99 I run out of money, lol I doubt if I'll really care. now don't get me wrong, I made a plan, I have put my ducks in a row as best as I can but I'm sick of being nervous nellie over crap I can't change.
Agreed. People need to strike some kind of a balance.

You don't want to fritter everything away today, but you also don't to everything off until retirement. Some people don't get there. My aunt's husband was one of the miser types that deferred everything until old age. He didn't make it. He was 55 when he died of a heart attack while mowing his lawn.
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Old 08-26-2019, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Living rent free in your head
31,555 posts, read 13,964,617 times
Reputation: 22620
Quote:
Originally Posted by steiconi View Post
People get to choose how they spend their money.
Clearly, not many people care about the art.
Maybe you should have proposed the project and gotten input from the community before you started the project?
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Old 08-26-2019, 09:12 AM
 
2,603 posts, read 677,801 times
Reputation: 4563
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlawrence01 View Post
True, but having seen a number of very old people sleeping in the urine stained sheets in a Medicaid funded nursing home away from their family and friends, they are probably thinking that they wish they could have gone out of this world in a much more pleasant atmosphere.
I agree.

The most important thing we could do is to give each of those very old people an "off" button. That's the humanitarian thing to do. It would hurt the bottom lines of those low-end nursing homes, but I'm not terribly worried about them.
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Old 08-26-2019, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Arizona
208 posts, read 122,375 times
Reputation: 866
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlawrence01 View Post
True, but having seen a number of very old people sleeping in the urine stained sheets in a Medicaid funded nursing home away from their family and friends, they are probably thinking that they wish they could have gone out of this world in a much more pleasant atmosphere.
People fool themselves into believing that the end stages of life in long term care facilities, nursing homes etc. will be better if they have money when the truth is, the level of your everyday care is based primarily on the people administering it. I've never known a nurse or CNA who cared one bit about how much money someone has in the bank or how much they're spending to be in a nursing home. Some truly love what they do and to others it's just a job.

While some facilities are "better" than others...sun rooms, beautiful dining halls, recreation rooms etc. when the lights go out and visitors go home people better hope the CNA on duty is compassionate and caring because once you've reached a point where you are no longer able to take care of your basic needs your butt is no more important than the butt of the guy on Medicaid. Anyone who doesn't believe that hasn't spent time in hospitals or nursing homes.

That byw is NOT a knock on nurses or CNA's. They're underpaid and overworked. They deal with things on a daily basis most of us can't or won't deal with. Money can buy a LOT of things but it can't buy compassion. All the good nurses and CNA's are not working in the best facilities.
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Old 08-26-2019, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
2,520 posts, read 3,725,902 times
Reputation: 4969
I had sort of a depressing weekend along these lines. The local newspaper publishes an Obituary Listing via email late each week. I normally never look at these but I did on Friday. Last week's listing contained approximately 12 deaths, 10 of whom were born in 1953 or later!


Then on Saturday night our widow neighbor across the street told my wife and I that she and three friends would be attending their 58th High School Reunion that evening. The four ladies were as giddy as school girls preparing for their first dance! That part was cute. Then I remembered that my HS Reunion would have been our 45th. Which means the lady across the street who uses a walker due to back surgeries, and for whom I clear her driveway after every snowfall, and mow her yard during the Summer if her son is working out of town that week, is only 13 years older than me. And I haven't retired yet!


There seems to be no justice in old age. By the time your finances are in order for the possibility you will need to self-fund for 30 years, your health has deteriorated so that you are unable to enjoy the events you planned and saved for. But if you spend too much too soon, you will never be able to retire.
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Old 08-26-2019, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Tucson/Nogales
17,604 posts, read 21,475,808 times
Reputation: 24598
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sibay View Post
People fool themselves into believing that the end stages of life in long term care facilities, nursing homes etc. will be better if they have money when the truth is, the level of your everyday care is based primarily on the people administering it. I've never known a nurse or CNA who cared one bit about how much money someone has in the bank or how much they're spending to be in a nursing home. Some truly love what they do and to others it's just a job.

While some facilities are "better" than others...sun rooms, beautiful dining halls, recreation rooms etc. when the lights go out and visitors go home people better hope the CNA on duty is compassionate and caring because once you've reached a point where you are no longer able to take care of your basic needs your butt is no more important than the butt of the guy on Medicaid. Anyone who doesn't believe that hasn't spent time in hospitals or nursing homes.

That byw is NOT a knock on nurses or CNA's. They're underpaid and overworked. They deal with things on a daily basis most of us can't or won't deal with. Money can buy a LOT of things but it can't buy compassion. All the good nurses and CNA's are not working in the best facilities.
You've heard the term Compassion fatigue? It runs rampant in the entire health care field. And, in some cases, there was zilch compassion to start with as many are there merely for the $$. And have you heard of Smartphones? They're time stealers in every work force today. And how to control it? Too often I'd go to the nursing station, and they're all on their Smartphones, some playing Candy Crush, even the Charge Nurse, and barking to some overworked Aide: You've got a light on in your hall!

In a nearby facility, they secretly installed security camera's in the halls, and they viewed an aide sitting on her hall for 2 hours straight, on her Smartphone, with multiple call lights on. She was fired, and! the nurse who was suppose to be supervising, was suspended for 5 days. And the nurse who wasn't supervising the aide, she was probably on her Smartphone as well.

17 years in a LTC/Rehab facility, it's time to stop this sanctification of those in the nursing field. Highly conservative people, who you won't find knocking on the doors of the state legislature to push for Physician Assisted Suicide. The first question a nurse asks when arriving at work: What's the headcount? If the headcount is too low, some nurse or aide has to go home and use their vacation time. Do they really give a hoot of those suffering souls on the Vent/Trac unit where there's little hope for any of them?

It's unfortunate that the pay for Nurses has gotten so high, that people who never would have thought of going into Nursing, go into it just for the $$.

And I've never encountered so many workaholics as I have in the nursing field. In many cases, just plain greed. Some work 3 12's at one facility, 3 12's at another, and aides who work 5 days a week at one facility, work another shift 5 days a week at another facility, plus overtime on top of that. I've heard it too often that they're underpaid and they need to work that much. I completely disagree! Go look in the parking lot at some these workaholics and see what they drive. An aide driving to work in a Lincoln Navigator, and this particular Aide must work 90-100 hours a week, and looks it! Recipes for Compassion Fatigue.

And there's other issues, like, working the night shift, I'd be responsible for 20 people, and if someone called off, I'd have 30 to take care of. And the Administrator forbid any temporary help, as the Administrator gets a nice bonus at the end of the year for saving the corporation (the corporation I worked for had 400 facilities) money.

There are some patients who become darlings of the facility, for whatever reason, and they get excellent care.
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Old 08-26-2019, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
12,530 posts, read 12,711,204 times
Reputation: 19956
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sibay View Post
People fool themselves into believing that the end stages of life in long term care facilities, nursing homes etc. will be better if they have money when the truth is, the level of your everyday care is based primarily on the people administering it. I've never known a nurse or CNA who cared one bit about how much money someone has in the bank or how much they're spending to be in a nursing home. Some truly love what they do and to others it's just a job.

While some facilities are "better" than others...sun rooms, beautiful dining halls, recreation rooms etc. when the lights go out and visitors go home people better hope the CNA on duty is compassionate and caring because once you've reached a point where you are no longer able to take care of your basic needs your butt is no more important than the butt of the guy on Medicaid. Anyone who doesn't believe that hasn't spent time in hospitals or nursing homes.

That byw is NOT a knock on nurses or CNA's. They're underpaid and overworked. They deal with things on a daily basis most of us can't or won't deal with. Money can buy a LOT of things but it can't buy compassion. All the good nurses and CNA's are not working in the best facilities.
That's why I am planning to age in place, hiring a CNA to come in part time and a housekeeper to live in full time. If I'm the employer, I can fire them if they don't do their jobs.
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Old 08-26-2019, 01:50 PM
 
2,453 posts, read 864,604 times
Reputation: 6215
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sibay View Post
Money can buy a LOT of things but it can't buy compassion. All the good nurses and CNA's are not working in the best facilities.
Let's turn this around. Person A has the means to pay privately for any place he or she chooses. Person B relies on Medicaid. Both have family members nearby who visit frequently.

Who has more choices? And who has the better ability to move if they end up in a place where the workers are on their smartphones during their shifts?
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Old 08-26-2019, 02:56 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,877 posts, read 7,169,627 times
Reputation: 14499
Quote:
Originally Posted by athena53 View Post
Let's turn this around. Person A has the means to pay privately for any place he or she chooses. Person B relies on Medicaid. Both have family members nearby who visit frequently.

Who has more choices? And who has the better ability to move if they end up in a place where the workers are on their smartphones during their shifts?
They'd have to find another facility where the workers don't spend most of their shifts on their smartphones. And no matter how much they can afford to pay, it can be tough finding such a place.:
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Old 08-26-2019, 03:39 PM
 
10,535 posts, read 12,480,385 times
Reputation: 14773
I've got an uncle with several million dollars, he is in great health and in his late 60's. Never owned a boat or plane, rarely owns more than 2 cars at once. Downsized at retirement and travels, spends money but is VERY cautious.

His concern: Running out of money! He knows there is no one out there to help him in the event of a meltdown (his kids are working but not rich, siblings are not wealthy). He wants to leave money to his kids as his legacy.

Great one liner: I earned my money slowly, I'm going to spend it slower!
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