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Old Yesterday, 11:23 AM
 
8,108 posts, read 5,153,259 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
...Seems to me when most people get married and have kids, they are less in friendships and maybe community except for kid-related stuff. ...
And that’s exactly it. What’s happened is that child-rearing came to be lionized as the defining task of adulthood, rather than some peripheral responsibility through which we aimlessly muddle through. As a child-free guy, I much lament the loss of close association with men with whom we’d formerly “hang out”, who retreated into the family-fold upon attaining reproductive status, and who now for decades have been absent, maintaining only peripheral and occasional association, like the semi-annual dinner. The most lamentable irony is that now, having finally reached the age where I no longer fret and cluck over career-advancement, and have disposable recourse to devote to hobbies and entertainment, the fellows from my generation are busy this week (literally!) ferrying their 18-year-olds to college.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
Well I don't miss my idealism...for me it was primarily due to naivete and hubris. Over the years I've gained wisdom, ...
One might argue that unfettered, uninformed naivete and hubris, are actually a higher form of wisdom... whereas self-consciousness and imposition of limits, is folly.
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Old Yesterday, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Willamette Valley, Oregon
4,228 posts, read 1,194,469 times
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We live in that neighborhood today. I know all my neighbors and say hi when I see them. We respect each others privacy, but nobody has a problem with a quick visit. I don't lock my car in the daytime, leave the house unlocked unless we leave for the day, or are in for the night. We live in a small town (3200) with all the services we need. We love living here and it's like Mayberry in a lot of ways.
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Old Yesterday, 11:48 AM
 
Location: plano
6,637 posts, read 8,208,991 times
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Were times better then or we didn't know what all was going in then as we know now due the internet and all? More of us lived in small towns then but the town i grew up in is similar to then just larger. We had one parent at home then we don't know is that due to wanting more things we don't really need but know exist now? In part yes but good jobs went overseas making them richer and us left with poor service jobs. I think we live in more complicated to es pressures by greed in us all and we chose to hate and make fun of others whose beliefs are by faith not science. Science is always wrong but doesn't know what it doesn't know yet. Coffee bad fjr me or good for me? Science says it yes and no depe di g on when. Science changed not coffee or it's mpact on me.
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Old Yesterday, 12:09 PM
 
2,386 posts, read 1,196,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post

I want to go back to a time when this song was on the radio every day. I want to be able to leave the back door and the car unlocked. I want kids riding their bike in the street. I want neighbours who know each other and say good morning. I want to be able to walk home alone at night without fear of being raped or robbed. I want Sunday lunch with friends. I want to have a cigarette at the bar without the "looks". I want to be able to speak without fear of someone listening until they can find something to be offended by. If anyone knows of a place like that which still exists....please, let me know.
This mentions nothing about the bad things during that time. There have always been bad things, and there always will be. Whoever wrote this was just wearing rose-colored glasses.

In the 60s, I couldn't walk home without fear of being raped or robbed...nothing has changed there.

If you want to have Sunday lunch with friends, nobody is stopping you.

If you want to listen to the same song everyday, tell Alexa to play it for you.

As for smoking in a bar without getting looks. Ha, how about those of use who suffered through your smoking in a bar....we like it better now, so that's an improvement in our eyes.

Some day people will reminisce about these days being the good old days.
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Old Yesterday, 12:25 PM
 
6,440 posts, read 3,670,297 times
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I don't read the question as much about events old or new as I do about what we believe is worthwhile - what makes a "good life." And, following, a feeling that life is good.

In each era every man has needed to make that decision for himself. Wordsworth signaled with the coming of the Industrial Revolution how the contrast between the old and new would widen and tempt many into a world of ultimately socially costly and unsatisfying pleasures.

"The World is Too Much With Us"
William Wordsworth

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;—
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.

We are "out of tune."
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Old Yesterday, 12:26 PM
 
4,007 posts, read 3,308,878 times
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My wife just noted the garage door being left open all night, and we've left slider doors open before during the day and left the house for a few hours. I say hi to the neighbors and know a few here on my street well enough to share some wine once in awhile. So, all is not lost when considering the fact of great neighborhoods still remaining. I'm in my mid seventies and remember the fifties as my childhood years, rural town, river and lake parks close by, filled with teens and families picnicking and having fun. Not a bad way to grow up, but the US was still relatively wide open spaces, big, but not too many people. I think we have too much social isolation these days, not to mention the problems caused by the transient nature of our modern day society, we have the web and other factors serving as barriers to any larger sense of community beyond one's own hood.

On another note, back in the forties and fifties, west coast cities were being settled by pre and post war mid western transplants from Montana, the Dakota's, Iowa, etc. Farm people, openly friendly, hard working types. The offspring of those people became the folks who were now savvy about the downside of city life and moved further out to the burbs in search of a paradise, which quickly turned ugly with too many homes and not enough roads. Large schools, large shopping centers, and even larger sub divisions filling with unknown faces, strangers were becoming more common than those we knew, and it grew and grew and grew.

The bulk of American youth have no memory of that nineteen fifties bucolic setting, they only know the burbs and the electronica which has captured their attention, my life and that of other oldies is just another black and white photograph for them to contemplate. My dad, in his older years, began to reminisce about the "old days" in his Montana youth, questioning in conversation, his decision to come to the coast. I think we all have some good memories about our youthful days, whether it's about riding our bikes to the fishin hole, or the thrill of that new video game.
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Old Yesterday, 05:19 PM
 
6,482 posts, read 5,195,332 times
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Sorry for being a Debbie Downer. Yes there were good things about the old days
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Old Yesterday, 06:14 PM
 
7,040 posts, read 3,980,791 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
I don't know who "we" is, and we all certainly didn't get married and have kids in the 1980s or some other time.
I am not sure what OP is asking. Seems to me when most people get married and have kids, they are less in friendships and maybe community except for kid-related stuff.

For what it's worth, I was certainly always fearful of assault of some kind, since my early teen years and working evenings at restaurants or any other night walking, and I grew up in a decent, busy suburb.

Maybe "we all" means family and siblings? In which case, I'm the wrong person to ask (or answer). I look forward to other answers.

Me too . When I was 11 my 4 yo sister & I were outside and some perv drove up and started to lure her into the car. I had to grab her and pull her back.
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Old Yesterday, 09:10 PM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
4,811 posts, read 2,617,917 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
I read this post and have been thinking about this and what kind of world our children will inherit.
Even though some had rough times in life or tough childhoods, I have been coming back to his words and it just makes me sad.

[b]I want to go back to a time when this song was on the radio every day. I want to be able to leave the back door and the car unlocked. I want kids riding their bike in the street. I want neighbours who know each other and say good morning. I want to be able to walk home alone at night without fear of being raped or robbed. I want Sunday lunch with friends. I want to have a cigarette at the bar without the "looks".
Sorry, I stopped reading when you wrote the sentence I bolded in red. I am extremely happy that nonsmokers like myself and all the living family I have left can enjoy bars and restaurants and workspaces and wherever else we like without having to involuntarily inhale all the crap in cigarettes. The good old days were mostly good, but the smokiness wasn't good at all.
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Old Yesterday, 09:44 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
18,078 posts, read 11,435,223 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
I read this post and have been thinking about this and what kind of world our children will inherit.
Even though some had rough times in life or tough childhoods, I have been coming back to his words and it just makes me sad.

I want to go back to a time when this song was on the radio every day. I want to be able to leave the back door and the car unlocked. I want kids riding their bike in the street. I want neighbours who know each other and say good morning. I want to be able to walk home alone at night without fear of being raped or robbed. I want Sunday lunch with friends. I want to have a cigarette at the bar without the "looks". I want to be able to speak without fear of someone listening until they can find something to be offended by. If anyone knows of a place like that which still exists....please, let me know.

This was talking about 1976 so what changed? Did I play a part? I did get married, have 2 children but I couldn't be a SAHM even though I wrestled with it. I did have a grandma for hire who came to my home and was a part of our family for 20 years.

I remember 1976. High school football games; my brother was a DE - he played against Mark Richt in HS (became the UM coach a few years ago and was at FSU and Georgia; everyone went to the games and then I remember we would all go home in time to watch Dallas. My dad just loved that old JR.

But, it seems we all spent more time together then. In the 1980's, we all got married and had kids but we all spent time together. Was it working a lot? The internet?

I think the wisdom from this board will come up with some good answers.

Anyone who grew up in the 1950's, like I did, remembers those times and misses them. We could stay out playing until late at night and never worried about someone harming us. We knew all our neighbors and they looked out for each other. We didn't even know where the key was to our front door. If people got into a fight, the worst you got was a blood nose, no worries about someone shooting you. When you bought a new car, all the neighbors would come over to see it. Things were so much more simple back then.

Yes, we had our faults, and there were a lot of not so good things, like how blacks and other minorities were treated. We can't overlook those things.

We should be ashamed for the world we are passing along to our children and grandchildren.
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