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Old 08-28-2019, 02:44 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
20,234 posts, read 19,239,100 times
Reputation: 34516

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmostSeniorinNJ View Post
I think what we see now is a combination of tv, video games and the internet as you mention, but most importantly bad parenting. I believe there are just too many parents who just don't teach their kids right from wrong and in too many cases, the parents are committing the wrong themselves.

Too many parents just let the kids do what they want and never instill a sense of decency or discipline into their kids. Kids end up with their own ideas, because their parents simply don't communicate with their kids. These kids turn into adults and they can't control themselves when things don't go their way.

Overall as a country we have become too lenient. It is not just the parents, it is also the justice system and the schools. This has bred a lack of respect for authority. And that lack of respect for authority often is bred by our so-called leaders because they are quite often involved in bad behavior. No names but I refer to politicians having affairs or involved in corruption, priests and their sexual scandals, teachers preying on kids, etc. Sports stars and the wrongs they sometimes commit. And with cable tv and the web, we all know about it very quickly.
Yes, no discipline, kids can do whatever they want. Spoiled kids grow up to be spoiled, selfish adults who don't care about anyone else but themselves. And that's what we have today. ME-ME-ME.

"ME" wants to blame "YOU." Kids weren't taught how to deal with losing or taught how to behave or even taught the word, "no." So now, as adults, they want to do whatever they want to do. Combine it with the influence of technology and you get what we see now.
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Old 08-28-2019, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Houston
22,928 posts, read 11,809,178 times
Reputation: 9318
The homicide rate actually peaked in the late eighties and early 90’s. Contrary to what seems to be popular opinion that things are much worse today.
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Old 08-28-2019, 05:23 PM
Status: "At least Iím not Matt Shea" (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Near Manito
19,555 posts, read 21,060,303 times
Reputation: 13935
I recently came across an essay by Mary Eberstadt which may offer some insights on this thread. Here’s a sample:

If yesterday’s rock was the music of abandon, today’s is that of abandonment. The odd truth about contemporary teenage music—the characteristic that most separates it from what has gone before—is its compulsive insistence on the damage wrought by broken homes, family dysfunction, checked-out parents, and (especially) absent fathers. Papa Roach, Everclear, Blink-182, Good Charlotte, Snoop Doggy Dogg—these and others have their own generational answer to what ails the modern teenager. That answer is: dysfunctional childhood. During the same years in which progressive-minded and politically correct adults have been excoriating Ozzie and Harriet as artifacts of 1950s-style oppression, millions of American teenagers have enshrined a new generation of music idols whose shared signature in song after song is to rage about what not having had a nuclear family had done to them.”

Here’s a link: https://quillette.com/2019/08/27/the...y-family-life/
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Old 08-28-2019, 05:32 PM
 
Location: NYC
3,055 posts, read 1,659,305 times
Reputation: 8286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
...

I want to go back to a time when this song was on the radio every day. I want to be able to leave the back door and the car unlocked. I want kids riding their bike in the street. I want neighbours who know each other and say good morning. I want to be able to walk home alone at night without fear of being raped or robbed. I want Sunday lunch with friends. I want to have a cigarette at the bar without the "looks". I want to be able to speak without fear of someone listening until they can find something to be offended by. If anyone knows of a place like that which still exists....please, let me know.

.....
Ehh... this is written by someone retreating into a rosy-lensed fantasy about the past which cherry picks & idealizes certain aspects "I want neighbours who know each other.." you mean the ones who were working on their cars & revving engines all weekend or the ones who kept complaining about suspecting your pets of "going" in their bushes or your kids of making too much noise in the street & complaining about this?

No, it's Ma & PA Kettle sitting on the porch & smiling after baking pies they share with everyone. And stay at home & smoke cigarettes in front of your own loved ones & expose them to cancers not us.

I can think of better fantasies frankly than some tired "Mayberry of my mind".
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Old 08-29-2019, 03:46 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,832 posts, read 3,358,719 times
Reputation: 12552
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
I read this post and have been thinking about this and what kind of world our children will inherit.
Even though some had rough times in life or tough childhoods, I have been coming back to his words and it just makes me sad.

I want to go back to a time when this song was on the radio every day. I want to be able to leave the back door and the car unlocked. I want kids riding their bike in the street. I want neighbours who know each other and say good morning. I want to be able to walk home alone at night without fear of being raped or robbed. I want Sunday lunch with friends. I want to have a cigarette at the bar without the "looks". I want to be able to speak without fear of someone listening until they can find something to be offended by. If anyone knows of a place like that which still exists....please, let me know.

This was talking about 1976 so what changed? Did I play a part? I did get married, have 2 children but I couldn't be a SAHM even though I wrestled with it. I did have a grandma for hire who came to my home and was a part of our family for 20 years.

I remember 1976. High school football games; my brother was a DE - he played against Mark Richt in HS (became the UM coach a few years ago and was at FSU and Georgia; everyone went to the games and then I remember we would all go home in time to watch Dallas. My dad just loved that old JR.

But, it seems we all spent more time together then. In the 1980's, we all got married and had kids but we all spent time together. Was it working a lot? The internet?

I think the wisdom from this board will come up with some good answers.



Bette:

Ever notice how people have to rain on your parade?
I enjoyed reading your post. I understand what you meant in the bolded paragraph. What is wrong with thinking nice thoughts? Reality can be very harsh as pointed out by some of the posters who had negative comments. Aren't we allowed to have pleasant dreams? It doesn't matter if they aren't all "real". If I'm going to be upset about anything, it is smoking and cigarette references. My two sisters died from lung cancer, both heavy smokers and drank a lot. But in "those" days, that was how some lived their lives.



In another post someone else wrote if you grew up during a particular time period you must always have had a wonderful life. Where did you ever get that idea?
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Old 08-29-2019, 05:17 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,234 posts, read 8,780,946 times
Reputation: 6384
Smile It wasn't my quote....

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
Bette:

Ever notice how people have to rain on your parade?
I enjoyed reading your post. I understand what you meant in the bolded paragraph. What is wrong with thinking nice thoughts? Reality can be very harsh as pointed out by some of the posters who had negative comments. Aren't we allowed to have pleasant dreams? It doesn't matter if they aren't all "real". If I'm going to be upset about anything, it is smoking and cigarette references. My two sisters died from lung cancer, both heavy smokers and drank a lot. But in "those" days, that was how some lived their lives.



In another post someone else wrote if you grew up during a particular time period you must always have had a wonderful life. Where did you ever get that idea?
Wasn't my quote and I should have taken out the cigarette part. No one in my family ever smoked so I just wasn't around that; what I was trying to make reference to is that neighborhoods were more of a community; you knew your neighbors and the family you called a family spent time together.

I miss that people aren't more like that today; I know there are some places that may exist but it's going away; I think some of the older generations kept it alive; I know my mom did - if a new neighbor moved in even a block away, she was the "Welcome Wagon" (not literally) lady.

I know there were things that were not fair - women's issues, racial issues, morality issues.

But, you just did not hear about another kid wanting to blow up a school and now, we see those events more often. Just makes me sad.

Thanks for your kind words. I think my mother worked hard to keep us all together and we (as children and young adults) spent time with each other. Still do today but everyone is busy.

It was written by a man and he had over 250 replies agreeing with his words.
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Old 08-31-2019, 02:20 PM
 
26 posts, read 10,977 times
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When I came of age (I was ages 10-20 in the 70s), there were LOTS and LOTS of drugs. The violent crime rates were HIGHER than they are now. Women did not have the employment opportunities they have now. Gay people couldn't be openly out, let alone marry the people they loved. Racial discrimination was alive and well (still is, but progress). Disabled people had far fewer opportunities and less access to buildings, transportation, sidewalks, jobs etc. My high school coach attempted to seduce me. Way more people smoked and died of lung cancer. Cars were not nearly as safe as they are now, and polluted more. I had a good family and loving parents, but it wasn't Beaver Cleaver and it wasn't better or worse than families now. So no, I don't see it as the good old days. (Nor do I see it as the bad old days, it was what it was, some changes have been for the worse -- less job security, pensions, electronic distractions, fewer kids playing outside unsupervised, more ambient stress) some have been for the better. The only constant is change. And in my heart of hearts, I do fervently hope and choose to believe that MLK was right when he said that the arc of history is long, but it bends towards justice.
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Old 09-01-2019, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
32,552 posts, read 20,502,770 times
Reputation: 46972
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post

I want to go back to a time when this song was on the radio every day. I want to be able to leave the back door and the car unlocked. I want kids riding their bike in the street. I want neighbours who know each other and say good morning. I want to be able to walk home alone at night without fear of being raped or robbed. I want Sunday lunch with friends. I want to have a cigarette at the bar without the "looks". I want to be able to speak without fear of someone listening until they can find something to be offended by. If anyone knows of a place like that which still exists....please, let me know.
.

I don't think much has changed in general terms. I NEVER left my door unlocked, but probably could, I just think it's stupid. Lots of kids riding their bikes on our street. I know my neighbors, I have no fear of walking at night. I have lunch with friends, though not sure we want to bring cigarettes back. Yes, I am more aware of speaking in a non-offensive way, and I can live with that.
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Old 09-06-2019, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Florida and New England
1,274 posts, read 1,444,982 times
Reputation: 1741
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hefe View Post
Ehh... this is written by someone retreating into a rosy-lensed fantasy about the past which cherry picks & idealizes certain aspects "I want neighbours who know each other.." you mean the ones who were working on their cars & revving engines all weekend or the ones who kept complaining about suspecting your pets of "going" in their bushes or your kids of making too much noise in the street & complaining about this?

No, it's Ma & PA Kettle sitting on the porch & smiling after baking pies they share with everyone.
Believe it or not, in addition to the graciousness of yesteryear, people were also more courteous. I don't recall anyone revving an engine in my neighborhood growing up. There were some older kids who did this at the Drive-In, but not in the neighborhoods.

One lady would complain about kids running around -- but, like everyone else, she didn't have a fence, and the other mothers would just roll their eyes. The whole area was a giant adventure -- brooks and hills and a few undeveloped fields. People did have frustrations, but there was an unwritten covenant that daytimes in the summer were for children, and the cranks kept to themselves.

The adults did enjoy the evenings -- festive dinners and parties with music and laughter and a lot of booze. Kids were in bed by 8pm back then.
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Old Today, 09:31 AM
 
Location: NE Ohio
37 posts, read 11,794 times
Reputation: 78
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple Tess View Post
When I came of age (I was ages 10-20 in the 70s), there were LOTS and LOTS of drugs. The violent crime rates were HIGHER than they are now. Women did not have the employment opportunities they have now. Gay people couldn't be openly out, let alone marry the people they loved. Racial discrimination was alive and well (still is, but progress). Disabled people had far fewer opportunities and less access to buildings, transportation, sidewalks, jobs etc. My high school coach attempted to seduce me. Way more people smoked and died of lung cancer. Cars were not nearly as safe as they are now, and polluted more. I had a good family and loving parents, but it wasn't Beaver Cleaver and it wasn't better or worse than families now. So no, I don't see it as the good old days. (Nor do I see it as the bad old days, it was what it was, some changes have been for the worse -- less job security, pensions, electronic distractions, fewer kids playing outside unsupervised, more ambient stress) some have been for the better. The only constant is change. And in my heart of hearts, I do fervently hope and choose to believe that MLK was right when he said that the arc of history is long, but it bends towards justice.
VERY well said. Thank you. I'm a little younger than you but other than that I could have written this word for word.

I am back in my home town (Cleveland area) and where I live I can see downtown on all but the foggiest/cloudiest days. Depending on where I am, I can also see Lake Erie at a distance. Neither were the case when I was a kid. That's all the proof I need that EPA standards work when they're allowed to.

I understand the OP's original point but I believe it was Henry James who said something along the lines of: If you are lucky, you will live long enough to see everything around you change.
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