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Old 09-02-2019, 09:56 AM
 
27 posts, read 11,022 times
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I still have good interactions with people of all ages. At almost 60, I do not get the attention from men that I once did, and that is just fine with me. I am very happy to walk down the street without hearing any catcalls or "hey baby" remarks. I try and look for pleasant interactions with strangers, even if they are just for a moment. My friends and I (also women "of a certain age") run near downtown early in the a.m. and we often hear "you go girl" type comments from down and outers who are on the street at that hour. I always say hello to homeless folks while running and receive a pleasant greeting back. I am a big believer that you get back what you give.
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Old 09-02-2019, 09:58 AM
 
7,665 posts, read 2,323,952 times
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I live in an area that is highly populated by retirees and snowbirds.

I find them more disrespectful to others than the teens/young people here. YMMV. The sense of entitlement and lack of self awareness is astounding. You'd think older people would know better.
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Old 09-02-2019, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
7,343 posts, read 12,884,997 times
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(ETA: to give more context, I am now 60, so a couple of years ago when I got the cruel evals, I was 58.)

I hate to say it, but I am seeing it from some of my students (I am a college professor). A couple of years ago, the first semester that my left knee/leg became chronically painful, I had to change the way I moved around my classroom -- I basically COULDN'T move much without tremendous pain. So when I would, for example, show a video in the class, I would ask the student at the back of the room near the light switch to turn it off and on (previously, I would have just done it myself, but please keep in mind that all the student had to do was reach her hand out as the light switch was right THERE).

In one class, a couple of incredibly mean, cruel students wrote on my evaluations that I was "lazy" because I asked a student to do this. LAZY. Seriously. I was angry but I was also really hurt. They must have seen from how I walked on the damaged leg that I was in serious pain -- but I was "lazy." Wow. (Never mind that this was how they evaluated my TEACHING? All they could see over the course of an entire semester full of content was that I asked a student to switch a light off and on?!)

These days, I tell my students up-front that my knee is damaged (I will be having total knee replacement in January 2020). But I can't believe I have to do that.

(Actually, even as I'm writing this I'm thinking, the vast majority of my students, who typically are 18 to 22 years old, are terrific. So I don't mean to lump them all together. But I was so disappointed that some students could be this cruel. Even after 20+ years of college teaching, it hurts.)

Last edited by karen_in_nh_2012; 09-02-2019 at 01:00 PM..
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Old 09-02-2019, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
5,730 posts, read 4,250,785 times
Reputation: 7774
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cabound1 View Post
Iím 57, and yes, itís obvious Iím starting to become invisible with the younger set. I live in the Bay Area. On the other hand, Iím also enjoying the benefits of the few well mannered younger set who will hold doors, carry bags, etc, for an old lady. They seem to be about 10% of the population.
A friend and I were just talking about getting older and becoming more invisible to younger people. I do notice that people here in Georgia are very polite to each other overall. I make jokes that it takes a while to enter a store because everyone holds the doors open for each other and insisting the other go first. Itís a nice thing.
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Old 09-02-2019, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Port Charlotte FL
1,096 posts, read 657,755 times
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most kids today are disrespectful if you ask me..not all, but too many for sure..I wouldn't give you a plug nickel for all of 'em..
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Old 09-02-2019, 06:08 PM
 
158 posts, read 81,528 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr5150 View Post
How is it for you where you live?

Mrs5150 and I were talking just now how well we are treated By young people. We are pushing 70 and everyone in our town, despite their age, treats us with respect and relates to us as real people despite their age. We are not invisible to 18 year olds.

I keep reading how old people are ignored in urban settings. Treated as if they are invisible. Even in small towns. Is this true where you live? Or is it not so where you live?
I'm still closer to 18 than to 70, but not by much now. In my experience over the years, those who are pushing your age tend to be very demanding of respect, rather than attempt to still earn it...be it the "Greatest Generation" (who is now largely nearing/beyond EOL) or early Baby Boomers of your age. Ironically, the message from both generations during my life has always been "respect must be earned", but at some point in age the preachers tend to stop practicing. That's why so many of your age tend to be ignored by the young: While there are so many valuable "life experiences" that can be shared and taught, it comes mostly in the form of condescension ("You should have known better"..."Well whose fault is that?" )...Or, absent even any attempt to mentor, there tends to simply be heapfuls of age-entitlement thrown around. Either way, it's often just going to be ignored and not worth the trouble of engagement.

If you're pushing 70 and generally have positive interactions with youth compared to others your age, I would say it reflects positively on yourself as a person and a mentor, and negatively on the others your age who tend not to have such interactions with youth.
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Old 09-02-2019, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
8,532 posts, read 9,296,670 times
Reputation: 13465
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ft Laud Guy View Post
I'm still closer to 18 than to 70, but not by much now. In my experience over the years, those who are pushing your age tend to be very demanding of respect, rather than attempt to still earn it...be it the "Greatest Generation" (who is now largely nearing/beyond EOL) or early Baby Boomers of your age. Ironically, the message from both generations during my life has always been "respect must be earned", but at some point in age the preachers tend to stop practicing. That's why so many of your age tend to be ignored by the young: While there are so many valuable "life experiences" that can be shared and taught, it comes mostly in the form of condescension ("You should have known better"..."Well whose fault is that?" )...Or, absent even any attempt to mentor, there tends to simply be heapfuls of age-entitlement thrown around. Either way, it's often just going to be ignored and not worth the trouble of engagement.

If you're pushing 70 and generally have positive interactions with youth compared to others your age, I would say it reflects positively on yourself as a person and a mentor, and negatively on the others your age who tend not to have such interactions with youth.
There is nothing to be earned. Perceived condescension is just that...perceived. Get over your insecurities and if some old guy gives advice, just know we were forty once and we made mistakes and learned from them. We want to give advice so you don't make the same mistakes: Been there, done it. I don’t know where you live, but in my town the young listen. Guess what at 40 you don’t know everything! Despite what you think. By 70 you know a lot more and know you don’t know everything. It’s called Wisdom. And yes, I’m handy with my iPhone. (Post typed on said device)

Maybe you’ll get lucky and get old someday. Not everyone makes it

Last edited by Mr5150; 09-02-2019 at 07:46 PM..
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Old 09-02-2019, 07:45 PM
 
158 posts, read 81,528 times
Reputation: 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr5150 View Post
There is nothing to be earned. Perceived condescension is just that...perceived. Get over your insecurities and if some old guy gives advice, just know we were forty once and we made mistakes and learned from them. We want to give advice so you don't make the same mistakes: Been there, done it. I donít know where you live, but in my town the young listen. Guess what at 40 you donít know everything! Despite what you think. By 70 you know a lot more and know you donít know everything. Itís called Wisdom. And yes, Iím handy with my iPhone. (Post typed on said device)


Completely took my post the wrong way, for the negative. But it's the internet...Things in text-message form tend to have a way of being misinterpreted.
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Old 09-02-2019, 07:48 PM
 
7,299 posts, read 7,110,740 times
Reputation: 6087
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
Something I have noticed in the past couple of years is that young men (some of them) are extremely polite and helpful. Unfortunately, not as true for young women, but a few of them are polite and helpful.

Just a guess...... the way these people were brought up?
I am mostly surprised at the disrespect from grandchildren, especially the boys. 2 of the grandkids attended a fancy private school K-12. Shocking to me the way they treat me. Their mothers (our daughters) were not raised that way. I have finally started to give those kids a comeback when they say or do something disrespectful to me.

Heaven forbid if the grandsons would hold open a door for me. Lately, the oldestóage 24, is finally showing more caring and respect.

Very disappointing that their moms havenít done a better job. I just keep my opinion to myself. No point creating discord in the family. They treat my DH the same way.
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Old 09-02-2019, 07:58 PM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
8,532 posts, read 9,296,670 times
Reputation: 13465
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ft Laud Guy View Post


Completely took my post the wrong way, for the negative. But it's the internet...Things in text-message form tend to have a way of being misinterpreted.
You posted what you meant.

At face value, which is the term, it was harsh and disrespectful. Pay attention to how you craft your posts. A bit of advice. Apology accepted. Thank You

And please, stay off my front lawn. (old person joke)

Last edited by Mr5150; 09-02-2019 at 08:08 PM..
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