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Old 09-02-2019, 08:10 PM
 
158 posts, read 81,528 times
Reputation: 225

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Quote:
Originally Posted by staywarm2 View Post
I am mostly surprised at the disrespect from grandchildren, especially the boys. 2 of the grandkids attended a fancy private school K-12. Shocking to me the way they treat me. Their mothers (our daughters) were not raised that way. I have finally started to give those kids a comeback when they say or do something disrespectful to me.

Heaven forbid if the grandsons would hold open a door for me. Lately, the oldest—age 24, is finally showing more caring and respect.

Very disappointing that their moms haven’t done a better job. I just keep my opinion to myself. No point creating discord in the family. They treat my DH the same way.
Is there a chance that your general demeanor toward them (and from your DH) resembles that which they received for several years from their teachers, especially the grandchildren who went to the private school? (Would the teachers there happen to be stern "sisters" and "fathers" of a monastery?)

If so, it's probably just youthful "blowback" against what may still be reminding them of their schooling. They'll show more caring with time as they realize you're not the "enemy".

(And their moms could very well have said and done everything necessary...But it doesn't mean it's going to be received and applied going forward.)
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Old 09-02-2019, 08:24 PM
 
7,300 posts, read 7,110,740 times
Reputation: 6087
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ft Laud Guy View Post
Is there a chance that your general demeanor toward them (and from your DH) resembles that which they received for several years from their teachers, especially the grandchildren who went to the private school? (Would the teachers there happen to be stern "sisters" and "fathers" of a monastery?)

If so, it's probably just youthful "blowback" against what may still be reminding them of their schooling. They'll show more caring with time as they realize you're not the "enemy".

(And their moms could very well have said and done everything necessary...But it doesn't mean it's going to be received and applied going forward.)
We treat those grandkids very well. We are nothing like teachers. (No Catholic education going on in our family.).

The kids actually think we are “cool” and much younger than their friends’ grandparents. Our daughters have not raised these kids right. I suppose the daughters want to be their friend more than their parents. Some spoiling going on also. Seems like many boomer and younger parents are doing the same.
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Old 09-02-2019, 08:26 PM
 
158 posts, read 81,528 times
Reputation: 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr5150 View Post
You posted what you meant.

At face value, which is the term, it was harsh and disrespectful.
It wasn't harsh or disrespectful...But I see now that your previous reply was

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ft Laud Guy View Post
mostly in the form of condescension
and even calling it "disrespectful" at face-value is

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ft Laud Guy View Post
age-entitlement thrown around
which will therefore

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ft Laud Guy View Post
be ignored and not worth the trouble of engagement.
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Old 09-02-2019, 08:28 PM
 
158 posts, read 81,528 times
Reputation: 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by staywarm2 View Post
We treat those grandkids very well. We are nothing like teachers. They actually think we are “cool” and much younger than their friends’ grandparents. Our daughters have not raised these kids right. I suppose the daughters want to be their friend more than their parents. Some spoiling going on also. Seems like many boomer and younger parents are doing the same.

No Catholic education happening in our family.
I have noticed countless parents trying to be "friends". Good point.
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Old 09-02-2019, 09:10 PM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
8,532 posts, read 9,296,670 times
Reputation: 13465
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ft Laud Guy View Post
It wasn't harsh or disrespectful...But I see now that your previous reply was



and even calling it "disrespectful" at face-value is



which will therefore
Get over it. I accepted your apology. Or are you now retracting your apology? One more piece of advice; give it a rest. The internet is not real life. If we were face to face this conversation would not be happening. But I do realize that and assume that folk your age prefer texting over actual human contact. Get real and not virtual.
Done

Last edited by Mr5150; 09-02-2019 at 09:21 PM..
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Old 09-03-2019, 07:27 AM
 
30,604 posts, read 47,832,190 times
Reputation: 16480
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
My parents are 88 and 93, and given my experience with how many times that service companies have ripped them off I would say that there is little respect for the elderly.
But that is not done by teens or younger people
Service people are usually older
And that is about greed—because they are vulnerable
NOT ignoring them but targeting them
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Old 09-03-2019, 08:04 AM
 
Location: USA
269 posts, read 44,254 times
Reputation: 293
I just turned 60, my husband is 65 and haven't felt any disrespect. We've lived in this area our whole lives and have friends of varying ages. But in the stores and places we frequent we know most of the people working there and chat with them all the time -- young to old. I'd say its no different than when we were younger.
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Old 09-03-2019, 11:30 AM
 
7,110 posts, read 3,941,625 times
Reputation: 14694
Hmmm. Food for thought, I guess.

First, I don't tend to give advice to young'uns, less'n they ask for it. I give it at times, but no more so than when I was young.

I don't need special attention from my neighbors. Just standard waving, participating in a neighborhood FB group, a chat now and then. I get this from my current neighbors in my semi-rural burb full of 30-something and 40-something married couples w/kids. But I also got this from the big city I just moved from. I don't expect much from neighbors. Just neighborhood friendliness.

Usually, if I'm friendly, people are friendly back. If I wave, I like them to wave back. If I stop to chat with a neighbor about something in particular (not just to chat), I like them to chat back a bit about that subject. And they do.

BUT, if you're an older woman in a checkout line, and the cashier is a young male, and there's a hot babe in line behind you, you do not exist. You could steal something right in front of him, and he wouldn't be able to give your description to the cops later.
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Old 09-03-2019, 11:38 AM
 
Location: equator
3,791 posts, read 1,664,405 times
Reputation: 9489
I've always heard about this invisibility thing, but haven't really experienced it. There have always been rude people, no matter what.

Down here, age is more respected. Next year when we hit 65, the entire 12% VAT tax will be refunded. In general, age is treated well and I am appreciative of that. We even have our own line at the bank, LOL.
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Old 09-03-2019, 12:27 PM
 
7,300 posts, read 7,110,740 times
Reputation: 6087
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
hmmm. Food for thought, i guess.

First, i don't tend to give advice to young'uns, less'n they ask for it. I give it at times, but no more so than when i was young.

I don't need special attention from my neighbors. Just standard waving, participating in a neighborhood fb group, a chat now and then. I get this from my current neighbors in my semi-rural burb full of 30-something and 40-something married couples w/kids. But i also got this from the big city i just moved from. I don't expect much from neighbors. Just neighborhood friendliness.

Usually, if i'm friendly, people are friendly back. If i wave, i like them to wave back. If i stop to chat with a neighbor about something in particular (not just to chat), i like them to chat back a bit about that subject. And they do.

But, if you're an older woman in a checkout line, and the cashier is a young male, and there's a hot babe in line behind you, you do not exist. You could steal something right in front of him, and he wouldn't be able to give your description to the cops later.

lol !!
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