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Old 09-13-2019, 10:28 AM
 
14,525 posts, read 7,792,849 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foodyum View Post
So true. Exactly what do you talk to your friends about? Its not work because your all retired. Isn't it vacations, places you've gone to eat (that's most of my conversations these days), events and concerts attended, maybe car shopping, home improvements....
Better than boring conversations about how amazing the grandkids are or about health and doctors. Politics are tough and "how bout them Yankees" get old.

With people I don't know, the weather and "how about those Red Sox" is it. I'm not going to talk about the ski condo or the boat floating on the mooring or the trips to Europe. And I am careful to distinguish between acquaintances and actual friends. My friends know my lifestyle. Acquaintances don't. It's totally boorish and nouveau riche to drive around in a Bentley going "look at me, I've made it".
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Old 09-13-2019, 10:30 AM
 
30,033 posts, read 35,213,259 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
I'm due to close on a condo this week. I'm buying at around 40% of what I was preapproved for. I'm not home much during the warmer months, have a lot of other hobbies, and finally found a remodeled townhome with garage for below $100k. I don't need a huge or expensive home. It has a lot of stairs, but that's fine by me, and I have a large garage for storage, 2BR/2BA, with a "loft" with a skylight on the top level. It's a good layout for what I want and do.

A high school buddy of mine posted a pic on Facebook of his kid and others bicycling behind my unit tonight. I sent him a message that we're going to be neighbors. He replied and we started talking.

He splits the mortgage on the ~$90k-$100k condo with his mom and girlfriend, and he says they barely make the bills. He runs a couple of pawn shops locally. He has a son that's 11-12, and a girlfriend as well. All together, they're struggling to keep the place paid for and all the other bills paid. The girlfriend has some fairly significant medical issues. He admitted he makes around $25k.

I couldn't believe that. $25k is a $12/hr job. He runs and manages multiple pawn shops. I told the guy he could make better at the local Citi debt collection call center, and at any number of jobs. He says he likes the pawn shop because it's flexible around what his kid does.

This dude is really barely scraping by. He has no slack in his life, and likely no luxuries. Compared to him, I'm doing incredibly well. Compared to most of the people on this board, I'm dirt poor.

In sum, I'm doing better than the vast majority of my peers. Did you, and when did you realize you did better than those of a similar background?
When I graduated from college and went home to visit.
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Old 09-13-2019, 10:48 AM
 
11 posts, read 1,617 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foodyum View Post
How about Iceland?
Don't you mean Greenland?
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Old 09-13-2019, 10:52 AM
 
14,525 posts, read 7,792,849 times
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Originally Posted by TuborgP View Post
When I graduated from college and went home to visit.

I graduated from college (I had mono and missed a semester, December grad) and accepted my job offer from a pay phone at the ski area base lodge a few days before Christmas. I was home for Christmas and started my first corporate tech job 3 1/2 hours away in early January. The closest I've ever worked to my home town is 67 miles but that would have been a Boston rush hour commute so impossible. That's the story of pretty much anybody in the top 5% of my High School graduating class. Everyone moved to places with better economic opportunities. The only talented people who stuck around either had those portable job classifications like doctor/dentist/attorney or their parents had a vibrant family business and they eventually took over the business.
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Old 09-13-2019, 10:57 AM
 
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Probably when I paid off my first house, about 3 years after I graduated college.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:03 AM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,514 posts, read 1,739,465 times
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Paying off our credit card in full every month was the tipping point in our late forties.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:29 AM
 
7,692 posts, read 8,868,155 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
I got the constant lesson growing up to not flaunt the fact that I was more affluent than other people. I've always driven fairly modest cars when my peers owned Euro luxury brands and performance cars. If you see me walking down the street, there aren't any real clues to my socioeconomic status. I generally don't talk about all the trappings of affluence around people I don't know.

It doesn't bother me or impress me to see others with nice things. I like nice things too and I appreciate quality and beauty and craftsmanship. But money and expensive things don't and can't turn a jerky person into a decent human; it might even expose the insecurity more. That's become more apparent as the years passed.

I remember when I was about 23 I pulled into this gas station in SF near where I was living. Some guy pulled in with his Rolls. He pumped his own gas, as we all did. I asked, "what kind of gas mileage do you get with that car?" He thought that was adorable.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
32,657 posts, read 20,569,991 times
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I don't compare what I have to others, because it doesn't matter. We have enough to be comfortable, and pretty much do what we want.

If I compare to others who have more, then I'm going to feel unhappy with what I DO have, and that is stupid. PLUS, you never really know what the situation is with others. I have friends who live it up, but have no savings.

And yes, we are better off than many, and we are grateful for that. I would rather see those people with more though.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:36 AM
 
825 posts, read 577,211 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
With people I don't know, the weather and "how about those Red Sox" is it. I'm not going to talk about the ski condo or the boat floating on the mooring or the trips to Europe. And I am careful to distinguish between acquaintances and actual friends. My friends know my lifestyle. Acquaintances don't. It's totally boorish and nouveau riche to drive around in a Bentley going "look at me, I've made it".
Ė
Iíve gotten the best tips on hotels in foreign cities, restaurants, even plastic surgery sitting next to some random at the nail salon or on the treadmill. And in turn Iím not shy about sharing my opinion. Itís why I like CD. Haha.
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Old 09-13-2019, 03:10 PM
 
5,774 posts, read 8,897,905 times
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It might have hit me in the mid 90's when I was listening to the radio and realized I was richer than Donald Trump! Of course they were reporting his bankruptcy with a negative net worth in the millions so just about everybody was richer, too. Probably still am/are if we knew the details of the Deutcshe Bank loans.

A couple years earlier I was reading a book about Lake Como and realized: I can go there! Maybe I wasn't richer than most but I bet I was richer than most people with so much free time.
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