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Old 09-13-2019, 12:41 PM
 
Location: california
5,781 posts, read 4,975,497 times
Reputation: 6843

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I think that out of the few hundred people I have known through out my lifetime, they all have busy lives and much more on their mind than I.
I am fine with being long forgotten ,most of us are as time goes by.
You can help people along the path of life , but it is foolish to assume the event is remembered .If you dwell on these things a prison is built with you inside.
I know that from time to time I am reminded of folk that have had an influence in my life, and I pray for them as their name comes to mind and I feel that is enough.
There are some I care about , but our path is askew and in most cases it is all for the best.
Not dwelling on the past helps looking toward the future much better.
I know that some day I will meet again those I cared about and among us will be great stories to tell especially those that reached out to help others.
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Old 09-13-2019, 01:07 PM
 
Location: SW US
2,266 posts, read 2,084,359 times
Reputation: 3930
I had one friend when I was living in Argentina in the 70's who disappeared at a very dangerous time. I never knew if he and his girlfriend had made it out safely. A couple of years ago I Googled him and found and read a book he had written about his youth, including the time when I knew him. So I was able to learn that both of them had gotten out to Europe, married and had kids. He was retired as head of a prestigious research institute in Paris, but there was no way to contact him so I figured he didn't want to be contacted by anyone.
I also found a friend from when I was a student in Mexico in the 60's, and we have corresponded by Email for close to 20 years now. We have had very different lives, and have different viewpoints on some things, but that makes the friendship richer.
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Old 09-13-2019, 01:26 PM
 
260 posts, read 94,663 times
Reputation: 1251
Quote:
Originally Posted by arleigh View Post
I think that out of the few hundred people I have known through out my lifetime, they all have busy lives and much more on their mind than I.
I am fine with being long forgotten ,most of us are as time goes by.
You can help people along the path of life , but it is foolish to assume the event is remembered .If you dwell on these things a prison is built with you inside.
I know that from time to time I am reminded of folk that have had an influence in my life, and I pray for them as their name comes to mind and I feel that is enough.
There are some I care about , but our path is askew and in most cases it is all for the best.
Not dwelling on the past helps looking toward the future much better.
I know that some day I will meet again those I cared about and among us will be great stories to tell especially those that reached out to help others.

Well put. Times change, people change. You can't go home again. Facebook is sometimes called "brag book" because that is what it turned into. Nobody posts their DUI mugshot. It's always their vacation photos, their boat, etc. Or people are wise to sharing private information and just put pictures of their dog and such. Overall, it is kind of pointless. The person you knew is gone. Maybe they are still a good person, maybe they are not now. Most of the people that are "facebook friends" are really just acquaintances today. Would you have much to say to them if they showed up on your doorstep?
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Old 09-13-2019, 02:09 PM
 
7,697 posts, read 8,872,030 times
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You can "go home again," and that's through the power of memories and shared experiences. I've had a number of fun conversations with small groups of people from the past, people I grew up with or lived nearby in the 'hood and played with every day or went to elementary through high school with or knew from college. Having the perspective of an adult and looking back is a unique experience.

I've remembered things that blew other people's minds. Things that happened to them that made an impact on me at the time and became part of my permanent memories. It's a gift to share with others and it's interesting to see what people recall in return.

It doesn't mean you have to be in each other's lives every day, and that's not realistic. I've learned many things about my home town and other families...things I didn't know and wouldn't have learned elsewhere. What probably would have bored me when I was a teenager is not boring now since it weaves parts of a tapestry and that tapestry was a piece of my life.
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Old 09-13-2019, 02:18 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
20,310 posts, read 19,292,057 times
Reputation: 34711
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmp61616 View Post
Well put. Times change, people change. You can't go home again. Facebook is sometimes called "brag book" because that is what it turned into. Nobody posts their DUI mugshot. It's always their vacation photos, their boat, etc. Or people are wise to sharing p"bragrivate information and just put pictures of their dog and such. Overall, it is kind of pointless. The person you knew is gone. Maybe they are still a good person, maybe they are not now. Most of the people that are "facebook friends" are really just acquaintances today. Would you have much to say to them if they showed up on your doorstep?
What I see of facebook is totally different from what you see on facebook. I see pictures of puppies and kittens, which I love-- And of flowers and gardens and cute kids. Also, some good jokes that people share and some inspirational sayings. I also see pictures of the ocean from the group back where I used to live and pictures of the village in the north of England that my grandparents lived in. Probably if you didn't hang around with conceited people (I cannot abide conceited people) you won't get "brag book."

Besides, there are other ways of finding people. There's at least one site where you pay a little bit of money and it gives you their phone numbers and addresses for the past years. I used it once for genealogy but apparently the person didn't want to be contacted. I never heard back.

My cousins are on FB and I don't get to see them very often but it's nice to keep in touch. When we do get together there's a lot more to talk about. If you don't like somebody, you can always block them.
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Old 09-13-2019, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,871 posts, read 3,374,876 times
Reputation: 12614
Quote:
Originally Posted by i[B
n_newengland[/b];56170369]What I see of facebook is totally different from what you see on facebook. I see pictures of puppies and kittens, which I love-- And of flowers and gardens and cute kids. Also, some good jokes that people share and some inspirational sayings. I also see pictures of the ocean from the group back where I used to live and pictures of the village in the north of England that my grandparents lived in. Probably if you didn't hang around with conceited people (I cannot abide conceited people) you won't get "brag book."

Besides, there are other ways of finding people. There's at least one site where you pay a little bit of money and it gives you their phone numbers and addresses for the past years. I used it once for genealogy but apparently the person didn't want to be contacted. I never heard back.

My cousins are on FB and I don't get to see them very often but it's nice to keep in touch. When we do get together there's a lot more to talk about. If you don't like somebody, you can always block them.



I'm commenting here because you say your grandparents lived in a village in the north of England. My father was born somewhere over there. I never got a straight answer out of anyone about it, he sometimes said near Sherwood Forest, but I'm sure that's a story he decided to tell me. But pretty sure his father worked in a quarry where he died (accident?) and when that happened, Dad was 12 and had to go to work at a lace factory. His mother gave him a schilling (sp?) for the trolly to get to work but had to walk a distance to get home. Wish I knew more, but from hearing about it, not any ancestor site. Last name was Smith.
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Old 09-13-2019, 04:21 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
9,268 posts, read 8,014,279 times
Reputation: 12831
Typically one makes friends due to a common bond like work, golf, neighbor, kids, etc. Once that common bond is broken, the friendship ends as life moves on. Someone once said they could never move away from the area they were brought up in due to family and friends. I never felt that attachment. I moved around a lot. I do not stay in touch with anyone from my past except family.
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Old 09-13-2019, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Earth
249 posts, read 91,231 times
Reputation: 1080
A billion years ago there was a popular show called "This Is Your Life," where stars were ambushed into reliving their lives via people sometimes forgotten by the main subject. It was always fun seeing these moments. Sometimes there were touching reunions.
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Old 09-14-2019, 07:05 AM
 
11,392 posts, read 8,637,501 times
Reputation: 20741
I'll let you know after my 40th HS reunion next month!
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Old 09-14-2019, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in deep in Maine
3,756 posts, read 2,887,303 times
Reputation: 4639
I’ve search many of them down with the internet and found that I no longer had anything in common. My best friend in Junior High who moved away, turned out to be so unlike me as an adult that I never tried to contact him again.
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