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Old 09-14-2019, 09:03 PM
1,852 posts, read 2,645,217 times
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Originally Posted by WellShoneMoon View Post
I've been able to find some women from my high school days by Googling their name as I knew it in high school and seeing them mentioned in their parent's obituary, often indicating their married name and sometimes the city they live in.
I hadnít thought of doing this and just tried it and found for the first time a good friend who had moved away in Jr. High. We had kept in touch up to college then lost track, some 40+ years ago. Now I have an address Iím debating writing to her. Actually what shocked me was the obituary for her father. I never really knew him, other than talk about him being a musician and also spending too much time at the local bar. Turns out he was an accomplished musician, played in various symphonies, taught music at the college and public school level. Itís obvious he really didnít fit into our farm community but I can understand now. Iím so glad he was well loved in the area where they moved.
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Old 09-15-2019, 06:55 AM
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
2,565 posts, read 3,765,058 times
Reputation: 5088
Former Co-workers: Many are already deceased, some at surprisingly young ages. Most co-workers were two or more decades older than me when I started work. Fantastic professional mentors!

High School Friends/Classmates: The initial comment above applies to this group too. Re-connected with many surviving classmates on FB. Some turned into real jackasses as they matured. Others were jackasses then and still are today. Others developed into astonishing individuals I wish I had maintained contact with and could describe as a close friend today. Still time I suppose.

College Friends: These were probably my closest friends of all at the time. I learned last summer that 39 years after graduation we now have nothing in common. Sad, but space for new relationships.
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Old 09-15-2019, 07:20 AM
1,152 posts, read 312,366 times
Reputation: 2000
Originally Posted by lottamoxie View Post
You can "go home again," and that's through the power of memories and shared experiences. I've had a number of fun conversations with small groups of people from the past, people I grew up with or lived nearby in the 'hood and played with every day or went to elementary through high school with or knew from college. Having the perspective of an adult and looking back is a unique experience.

I've remembered things that blew other people's minds. Things that happened to them that made an impact on me at the time and became part of my permanent memories. It's a gift to share with others and it's interesting to see what people recall in return.

It doesn't mean you have to be in each other's lives every day, and that's not realistic. I've learned many things about my home town and other families...things I didn't know and wouldn't have learned elsewhere. What probably would have bored me when I was a teenager is not boring now since it weaves parts of a tapestry and that tapestry was a piece of my life.
Agree 100%. I was fortunate that I had several good friends in school but I relocated and our lives took different paths. With some trepidation, I decided to go to my hs reunion. I reconnected with two former acquaintances and their personalities were just as I remembered. One girl died shortly thereafter and I was so glad that we had the gift of laughter and sharing fond memories at the reunion. It's nice to remind people that they were an important part of your history.
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Old 09-15-2019, 08:18 AM
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,584 posts, read 46,384,812 times
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I looked up our old attorney and found out he had turned in his license, got indicted for fraud, and dropped dead on his way to court.
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Old 09-15-2019, 09:15 AM
4,059 posts, read 2,297,293 times
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Originally Posted by V8 Vega View Post
I have never been able to find anyone on Facebook. A lot of old people don't have computers, have one but go on it little. shun Facebook.
That was more true of the GI Generation (1910s-first half of 1920s births) and the Silent Generation (late 1920s-1945). The early stage Boomers (1946-early 1950s births) mostly had to use computers during their working years and are reasonably tech adept.
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Old 09-15-2019, 10:46 AM
245 posts, read 125,216 times
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Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
Plus I avoid taking trips down memory lane. Living in the present is much more satisfying to me.
I've adopted a "don't go backwards" policy. It's rarely rewarding and often disappointing. Leave the happy/fond memories in the past. Remember people as their vibrant selves and avoid seeing what the burden of life has done to them. Not being negative - just realistic.
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Old 09-15-2019, 03:14 PM
9,772 posts, read 16,107,214 times
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Originally Posted by peta2013 View Post
I've adopted a "don't go backwards" policy. It's rarely rewarding and often disappointing. Leave the happy/fond memories in the past. Remember people as their vibrant selves and avoid seeing what the burden of life has done to them. Not being negative - just realistic.
also, don't let people see what the "burden" of life has done to you

I've had rheumatoid arthritis since I was 21. It has taken its toll on my body. I've had multiple joint replacements, and lets just say I have a different gait than I did way back then.

An old friend I hadn't seen in years connected with me. We arranged to meet for lunch. I did tell her about the arthritis. I explained I now use a cane, and walk with difficulty. We remembered each other from a younger, more healthy time. Actually, people back then complained I walked too fast and they couldn't keep up with me!

Well, when we met at the restaurant, her jaw dropped -- literally! She actually "hid" around a corner and it took me several minutes just to find her. She left me standing there, wondering if she had not yet arrived, or if she was somewhere in the restaurant, etc. When I finally did locate her, she just stood there, her mouth in what appeared to be a permanent opening. I approached her, said "Kristen, is that you"? She continued to just stand there and stare, her mouth hanging open. She didn't even say a word, just silently held out her hand to shake, then withdrew like maybe I had something contagious!

I was the one who took charge of the situation, by suggesting we get seated. She just followed me, silently, we got a table, she continued to stare at me like I was some creature from Mars! By the time the waitress came, I said to just cancel. I told Kristen it was nice to see you, you have my number, contact me if you'd like, then I just left. I don't believe she said one word the whole time. I wasn't going to go through the ordeal of trying to have a meal with her!

Ok, I could see her being somewhat surprised at my condition. We hadn't seen each other for about 30+ years, and my gait and health had been affected. But I wasn't that deformed! I guess she expected to see the person she remembered from her younger days! I had told her about it, explained how I now walked with great difficulty, almost "lopsided" , but somehow it just didn't sink in.

The whole incident has, obviously, stayed with me. But I felt more annoyed by her, not diminished because, in her eyes, I was now a "freak". Geez, have some manners and dignity about yourself! If it were me, I suppose I would have been somewhat surprised, but had the good manners to cover it up. I would have thought about her feelings, how would she feel, to be treated like some sort of freak from a horror show Really, folks, I don't look that bad, its just the change from my younger days, when I was healthy, strong, and attractive to my "now" persona, that of an older lady, walking with some difficulty, using a cane. Hey, you see thus every day, its not like I suddenly grew two heads!

Ok, from then on, I usually decline reconnecting with people from that time in my life. I don't need such experiences again! Oh, and as far as I'm concerned, she was the "freak", not knowing how to act in public!

Vent over, have a nice Sunday, folks!
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Old 09-15-2019, 07:00 PM
13,454 posts, read 6,456,171 times
Reputation: 11275
This thread reminds me of a Beatles song --- "In My Life"


Since the advent of the internet, I, too, have looked up old friends and acquaintances. There are some that I can't find---most likely because they have little to no internet presence for whatever reasons.

I looked up a friend from high school and one from college, only to suspect that they both had committed suicide. The high school friend died at age 39, the day after her birthday. I found out that she had married and left behind a 6 year old daughter. The college friend had married her college sweetheart and moved across the country. She, too, had died in her late 30s. Her husband appeared to have remarried and had a middle school-aged daughter with the second wife.

I suspect both of these women had committed suicide because tended to have depressive personalities. With the high school friend, she was emotionally flat. While she would smile, I never heard her let out a good laugh. I credit her with introducing me to one of her teachers---a very caring woman who was there for me when I was dealing with an abusive home life.

The college friend had admitted that back in high school, she had cut her wrists once. She often had bouts where she didn't want to go out except to attend class. We lost touch after college when it got to the point where I only heard from her when she wanted something, so the friendship faded away.

Of all those I've looked up, those two affected me the most. It had me wondering why, back then, I couldn't pick up as to how depressed they were. Then again, I was young then and not well educated as to those issues...
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Old 09-15-2019, 09:26 PM
Location: Southwest Washington State
22,844 posts, read 14,956,603 times
Reputation: 32801
Iíve googled a few older acquaintances. One in particular I discovered has died, and finding the obituary was a shock.

Some other people I found only had defunct FB accounts, with no recent posts. Sometimes, I have found nothing.

But I have not looked for a lot of people, and I havenít pursued this with persistence.
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Old 09-15-2019, 11:49 PM
1,266 posts, read 748,377 times
Reputation: 2208
One of them spotted me in the grocery store. I got a nice hug. I often wondered what happened to her. No contact information was exchanged except we shop in the same place. It was a brief encounter. She was more good friend than girlfriend almost 40 years ago. We've been shopping there every Saturday for a decade and just crossed paths once. It may be unlikely to happen again.
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