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OP will handle his retirement freedom according to his own temperament, drive, and physical abilities. We may start out wanting to stay busy, but things change as we age. Eventually we reach a point of “been there, done that” and the pursuit of something to do becomes less important.
When I retired earlier than I wanted, I felt like I had suddenly become irrelevant and I didn’t like it. I got a part time job and some volunteer jobs. Eventually, I settled down to a slower pace on my own terms. If I want to sit and knit or read for most of the day, I do so with pleasure.
My husband has had a part time job since retiring, and would be miserable without a job and a bunch of projects going. As time goes on he might need to gear down.
Maybe your dad doesn't want to do anything anymore. Maybe he's depressed? Have you offered to take him anywhere or do something? Does he does nothing because he has no other choice or is he happy in his lifestyle?
Yes, I'm sure watching him doing "nothing" is showing you a glimpse in your own future but it doesn't have to be that way. You do want you want to do when you're 80 and let him do what he wants.
I'm wondering if anyone has considered the relationship between father and son was not a good one? What kind of pressures did Sr. put on Jr.? Was Jr. criticized by Sr. because Jr. didn't live up to Sr.'s expectations.
We are only "seeing" one side to this .... and most of us know life has much more to it than one side.
When my coworkers heard about my retirement the first thing they said was, "So, what will you do???"
My answer was, "I'll retire."
"Yes, but what will you DO???"
The 'must be doing' something all the time people will often criticize those who aren't following their lead; however, I wonder how they'll feel if those of us in the other camp criticized them for not being able to enjoy down time?
I tried that with a friend who is a constant gadabout, any down time for her (even if it's only 10 minutes) makes her want to climb the walls. I am 180. She too often said, "You need to get out more!!!". I asked how she might feel if I said, "You need to stay home more!!!" Her reply was that I would be very rude to make such a comment. She never caught on.
Maybe we're also discussing two different personality types. Some people are calm and take things at a slow pace and don't need to be doing much to be happy. Other people are hyper and can't sit still for a minute.
I'm wondering if anyone has considered the relationship between father and son was not a good one? What kind of pressures did Sr. put on Jr.? Was Jr. criticized by Sr. because Jr. didn't live up to Sr.'s expectations.
We are only "seeing" one side to this .... and most of us know life has much more to it than one side.
No we aren't considering that, because that would be making up some imaginary scenario out of whole cloth.
No we aren't considering that, because that would be making up some imaginary scenario out of whole cloth.
So you wouldn't consider all the things that make people do what they do? Very limiting. Even for a "whole cloth."
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