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Old Today, 09:49 AM
 
Location: MIAMI FLORIDA
49 posts, read 31,507 times
Reputation: 163

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I just can't wait to actually have the option of just doing nothing

At 63 and not hopeful that I'll ever be able to retire at all due to massive debt,I'm basically already a homebody. Other than work and grocery/pharmacy I very rarely leave my apartment.I also have PAD and my mobility has already been somewhat affected;so travelling and marathon running are out of the question as retirement activities.

Well...I will not be really doing nothing...My huge collection of music,movies and books will keep me entertained forever. For almost 40 years I sort of had a hobby of taping musical performances,video clips etc. from variety shows,MTV etc. I was hoping this would have been my retirement activity one day;classifying them,indexing them...sort of like having a collection of video scrapbooks..but when the collection grew to over 3000 Betamax and VHS tapes...unsorted,un-watched...it just become overwhelming..I would never live that long to do what I wanted to do with them ...and threw all the tapes away. Besides,YOUTUBE had already started,though I still regret all really rare clips that I had recorded that are not on YOUTUBE and most likely are lost forever.

I will still hopefully have my media collections to keep me entertained in retirement;though it will be extremely ironic if I also become deaf/blind before I get there.
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Old Today, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in deep in Maine
3,752 posts, read 2,884,917 times
Reputation: 4624
I remember the expectations I had when I was 40 for when I was 65. I didn’t figure in the maladies and pain of your body in old age. I didn’t figure in how your brain doesn’t work as well, or that you can no longer run for fun.

Youth simple never understands that when you get older you are not young anymore. My 36 year old son sees me as I was when he was 10 and I was 42(running up mountains) and simply can’t believe that I can no longer do those things. He thinks that I am deliberately refusing to do it.

How I wish he was right.
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Old Today, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,632 posts, read 8,082,841 times
Reputation: 54052
I wonder how old you are ERH? I was a workaholic in my 50's and always had to be moving. At 62 the spirit is willing but the body says no. I can't imagine how it will be in my 80's if I even make it to that. I won't be up on the ladder on the second story painting trim, and I won't be hanging out of a third story attic window painting trim either. Your dad is doing just fine simply walking the planet at 80. Each decade brings a new challenge, and when you're under 60 your energy level is still high. I see it with the seniors we roller skate with. One is 92 and he decided not to skate anymore. He coffee clutches with our other 90 something that decided not to skate any more as well. What's amazing is that they both live alone and drive. At 62 I still buzz around the rink for a solid two hours with no break. The 70 and 80 year olds get off and rest a lot. That time will come for me as well, but I want to be just like them when I grow up.
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Old Today, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
6,091 posts, read 5,021,716 times
Reputation: 20804
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
So you wouldn't consider all the things that make people do what they do? Very limiting. Even for a "whole cloth."
There was no hint of this scenario in the OP, so no, I don't just throw out random ideas about people's motives because there are far too many such possibilities to consider "ALL the things that make people do what they do". That's like throwing darts at a map of the U.S. and hoping to hit the correct city. If the OP had even hinted at a rift between them, or some childhood issue, then I might consider that. But he didn't. He just stated he didn't want his retirement to be like his dad's. Which is fine, make your retirement whatever YOU want it to be. But the "praying not to get to that point" bit is somewhat insulting to both his dad and other 80-somethings who prefer a quiet stay-at-home life for their final years after working hard all their lives to provide for their children, of whom the OP is the recipient. Instead he should be praying "Please Lord, let me live long enough to be happy and content in my old age, and to still have family with whom to share my life".
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Old Today, 11:40 AM
Status: "Hard work is never easy" (set 4 days ago)
 
Location: Florida/Tennessee
3,123 posts, read 4,454,951 times
Reputation: 1797
As we've all heard before... “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

At 67 I've had broken bones, lots of stitches, torn cartilage, two new knees, hernias, and an occasional skin barnacle that needs removing .... so I'm on my way! However I'm in good health and my BP and Cholesterol is golden. No meds.

Most nights my wife says ... you don't fall asleep, you pass out.
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Old Today, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,394 posts, read 8,793,253 times
Reputation: 36219
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn View Post
As we've all heard before... “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

At 67 I've had broken bones, lots of stitches, torn cartilage, two new knees, hernias, and an occasional skin barnacle that needs removing .... so I'm on my way! However I'm in good health and my BP and Cholesterol is golden. No meds.

Most nights my wife says ... you don't fall asleep, you pass out.
Hmmmph....not how I've lived and certainly not how I want to die but you go on ahead of me. BTW, there's a lot of people like me who also aren't on a bunch of meds - well, I did have my thyroid removed 30 years ago but don't fault me too much on that.
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Old Today, 11:52 AM
Status: " ." (set 3 days ago)
 
125 posts, read 24,255 times
Reputation: 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by katharsis View Post
Agreed, but the OP said that he does do some things in his workshop, so it is not like he is 'glued' to either his chair or bed all the time. Although those who care about him might want to encourage him to be more active because of his health, it is his choice what he wants to do with his time, as most of us have said.
yes. I just got the impression he rarely ever goes into his workshop. Yes, it is his choice though.


I think I'd do everything I can to mold that situation into something good. Even spend a few thousand on a 3 wheeler tricycle, something he enjoys to get him somewhat active on a regular basis. It will be the kids having to deal with the outcome
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Old Today, 11:55 AM
Status: " ." (set 3 days ago)
 
125 posts, read 24,255 times
Reputation: 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightengale212 View Post
My late father grew up during the Great Depression and following the death of his mother at age 13 who left behind 7 children to the support the care of their alcoholic father, with one less mouth to feed my father was set loose by his father to make his way in the world. From 13-16 my father worked from farm to farm, and from 16-17 worked in a logging camp in Oregon. The same day my father turned 17 he joined the Navy. After completing basic training he was shipped off to fight in the Pacific during WWII, and after that decided to make the Navy a career and spent the next 25 years traveling the world doing just that. Two months after retiring from the Navy at age 42 he began his 2nd career as a building supervisor for a large insurance company and worked in this job for 32 years finally retiring at age 74. Shortly after my father retired from his 2nd job my mother's health began to decline and he took care of her until her death at which time he was 82.

From 82 to his death at 87, with no longer having the burdens of work and having to care for my mother my late father finally had the time to read the large dust covered collection of books that he had been waiting so many years to finally read. Reading along with doing a little gardening in the yard and catching up with old friends over the phone or at the local diner for coffee is how he spent most of his days. And when Sundays rolled around he would have dinner at either my or my sister's house which was his main event for the week. One day I asked my father if there was a movie, place, or trip he would like to go on and that I would be happy to take him and his response was no thanks. He then went on to say for the majority of his life he was a human doing and was now very content at this stage of his life to just be a human being.

And myself being very much my father's daughter, when I retire in a few years at age 66 which follows a 45 year nursing career the first day of my retirement will be spent shopping for a new Lazy Girl recliner where I plan to spend not all but a good deal of time reading my own collection of dust covered books that I did not have the time to read during my own long and overdoing work life.
Wow, your Father was a wondeful man! Enjoy your reading, you earned it
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Old Today, 11:57 AM
Status: " ." (set 3 days ago)
 
125 posts, read 24,255 times
Reputation: 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Here's the OP. Show me where ERH said he wanted to force his father to do something other than sitting around all day.
She can't because she never said such a thing. You misread the post . I am still getting thru reading the thread myself but wanted to comment.
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Old Today, 12:03 PM
Status: " ." (set 3 days ago)
 
125 posts, read 24,255 times
Reputation: 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn View Post
Sitting is the new smoking. The couch is the enemy.
May the Force be with You
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