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Old 09-15-2019, 08:47 AM
mlb
 
Location: North Monterey County
3,316 posts, read 2,934,891 times
Reputation: 5131

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I have been retired for almost a year. I will be 66 in a month.

I have worked the better part of 50 years of my life

The other day - the chair of the HOA of our community approached my husband asking if I would like to be the “secretary” of the HOA.

DUDE.... first - ask ME - not my spouse.

And seriously? I retired from scut work.... I don’t want to spend my years in retirement doing the same.

I promised myself I would do NOTHING the first year in retirement. And honestly? I LIKE IT.

You do not have the right to tell people how to live their lives.

PERIOD.
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Old 09-15-2019, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
32,680 posts, read 20,588,030 times
Reputation: 47182
Okay, read your update OP, and yeah, all that info makes a difference.

Your dad sounds like a miserable person before and after retirement.... so he is consistent at least.

What I don't understand is why your brother chose to live on the same property, and you moved in with your dad.

It appears (in lieu of further information) that you are choosing to be miserable too, and I'm not sure why.

Your father doesn't need you to care for him, but you do it anyway. Maybe that is holding him back? Even if it isn't, why would you do this to yourself? I can't imagine leaving my husband for 2 years to keep house for a parent who I don't like, and doesn't require my assistance on a daily basis.
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Old 09-15-2019, 04:34 PM
 
9,939 posts, read 9,386,666 times
Reputation: 8094
I doubt your dad even looks at a clock. We retired early and did everything we wanted to do. Going here and there seeing this historical thing or spectacular event, eating in world renowned restaurants, bought a pontoon sold it, bought an RV sold it, two motorcycles sold them. Got all the travel and wanderlust out of us. Sold our 2nd home at Myrtle Beach and dedicate our self to our primary home. Not in our 80's yet but settled in as your dad. Read, watch TV, play games on computer, hubby works in yard, children and grands visit. Our doctor, dentist, grocery store, is all within a 20 mile radius of our home. Plenty of shopping but why fight traffic and crowds when I can order everything online. We go to funerals, birthday parties, family holiday celebrations. Life is good!

Just read your other post. You dad worked, worked, worked all his life. Many of us did thankfully hubby and I got out of the rat race in our 50's with good health and could keep the roads and waterways hot. Now, we can piddle all we want and we never watch the clock often having to ask "what day is it?"

Last edited by CarolinaWoman; 09-15-2019 at 04:42 PM..
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Old 09-15-2019, 04:39 PM
 
Location: southern california
56,115 posts, read 75,230,718 times
Reputation: 48820
Work benches are underrated
A French expression -to be happy be hidden
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Old 09-15-2019, 05:06 PM
 
Location: New York Area
16,542 posts, read 6,533,037 times
Reputation: 12736
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Okay, read your update OP, and yeah, all that info makes a difference.

Your dad sounds like a miserable person before and after retirement.... so he is consistent at least.

What I don't understand is why your brother chose to live on the same property, and you moved in with your dad.

It appears (in lieu of further information) that you are choosing to be miserable too, and I'm not sure why.

Your father doesn't need you to care for him, but you do it anyway. Maybe that is holding him back? Even if it isn't, why would you do this to yourself? I can't imagine leaving my husband for 2 years to keep house for a parent who I don't like, and doesn't require my assistance on a daily basis.
I'm with you, Mikala. There comes a time to say "no."
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Old 09-15-2019, 05:51 PM
 
6,605 posts, read 5,271,149 times
Reputation: 13677
I keep missing things in your long post

So yes, he does watch porn.

And it seems that both your parents had "issues". They both called you lazy since you were not physically working?

He cried about his mom. A mom that would send him off with relatives. He didn't have a loving family, so didn't know how to love?

Its not you - its them. And whatever their parents did to them. If it was a good childhood, they would have told you stories. My mom lived in a tent during the depression, but loved being with her family and found it fascinating. Same with my dad. They met when my mom's family was working for his.
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Old 09-15-2019, 07:09 PM
 
1,471 posts, read 1,152,088 times
Reputation: 5215
This family needs more help then a Internet forum can give them. How dad is spending his retirement is so far down the list of issues that it's not even important.
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Old 09-15-2019, 07:21 PM
 
Location: New York Area
16,542 posts, read 6,533,037 times
Reputation: 12736
Quote:
Originally Posted by ccc123 View Post
This family needs more help then a Internet forum can give them. How dad is spending his retirement is so far down the list of issues that it's not even important.
Internet forums can give good ideas. Also one can divulge matters on a forum that you wouldn't even share with psychologists since they are mandated reporters for Adult Protective Services purposes.
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Old 09-15-2019, 07:40 PM
 
6,605 posts, read 5,271,149 times
Reputation: 13677
You said that he is hell bent on finding a woman. I am surprised one hasn't shown up to see him. Isn't that what usually happens? Maybe they know him too well?

What is Eastern Star?
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Old 09-15-2019, 07:42 PM
 
6,605 posts, read 5,271,149 times
Reputation: 13677
You mentioned 3 hour Wal-Mart trips.

My 70 year old sisters and 73 year old brother love doing that. Me - no thanks.

It is just something a lot of that generation like to do. I got all my shopping out of my system years ago.
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