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Old 09-15-2019, 07:44 PM
 
6,610 posts, read 5,271,149 times
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Maybe you have almost hit your limit and will be making your escape soon. I hope so.

He seems to be okay.
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Old 09-15-2019, 07:57 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
5,321 posts, read 2,441,937 times
Reputation: 17600
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.

My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.

I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.
I remember when I was a teenager watching the seniors in my neighborhood in their matching gray sweatsuits, carefully walking together down the sidewalk & I would think; 'Please just shoot me if you ever see me doing this ...'

But then two years ago my mom died & my 78-year-old father still lives in that same neighborhood & I know he would give his right arm to dress up in matching sweatsuits & take a walk with my mom.

I remember rolling my eyes at moms who never went back to work after maternity leave & stayed home & baked cookies, while I was out there the second I was medically cleared to work; being a 'powerful, financially viable woman'.

Until the morning I woke up to find my child lying unresponsive in her bed & all my great training in the world could not save her & I wished I would have just stayed home with her for every day she had in this world.

Seriously, take it from me & never say never. Maybe go hang out with Dad in the workshop now & again.
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Old 09-15-2019, 07:58 PM
 
6,610 posts, read 5,271,149 times
Reputation: 13700
Thank you for sharing your story.

I hope you find an answer. It was very interesting. People are people and so different in what they want and need in life.
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Old 09-15-2019, 09:48 PM
 
9,939 posts, read 9,386,666 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post

What is Eastern Star?
The Order of the Eastern Star is a Masonic Organization. Her dad must be a Mason too.
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Old 09-15-2019, 10:02 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
46,079 posts, read 37,184,744 times
Reputation: 65553
Dysfunction Junction, what's your function?

OP, surely you KNOW that this lifestyle is out of whack, right?
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Old 09-15-2019, 11:30 PM
 
9,771 posts, read 16,082,468 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolinaWoman View Post
The Order of the Eastern Star is a Masonic Organization. Her dad must be a Mason too.
Yep. My Grandfather was a Mason, my mom in Eastern Star, and I was in Rainbow Girls, an organization for teenage girls in the Masonic order. Lots of fun!
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Old Yesterday, 09:01 AM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
30,634 posts, read 16,971,997 times
Reputation: 23011
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.

My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.

I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.
At age 80 and above - the energy level is not what it used to be.
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Old Yesterday, 10:15 AM
ERH ERH started this thread
 
Location: Raleigh-Durham, NC
1,224 posts, read 1,692,085 times
Reputation: 2302
Thanks all -- lots to mull over, so I appreciate your input. My dad's not a monster; he's just an old dude who's lonely and bored and depressed. I'm here because I love him; if I didn't, you can bet your *** I wouldn't be here. I have stepped away from the situation before when I needed to, and I have no trouble doing it again.

Being here, at this present moment, is serving a purpose for me, but I see no need to share that with CDLand, as it's not relevant. At the time when that purpose is no longer served, I will make a change.

Happy Monday to all -- even to those who are retired and don't keep track of the days.
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Old Yesterday, 02:57 PM
 
Location: The sleepy part of New York City
2,062 posts, read 1,271,312 times
Reputation: 4564
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.

My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.

I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.
Well, why don't you take him out then? Do something with him. Take him to lunch. Bird watch. take in a movie. He probably doesn't have many friends and may not want to go out by himself.
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Old Yesterday, 03:44 PM
 
3,615 posts, read 1,703,394 times
Reputation: 13636
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
Thanks all -- lots to mull over, so I appreciate your input. My dad's not a monster; he's just an old dude who's lonely and bored and depressed. I'm here because I love him; if I didn't, you can bet your *** I wouldn't be here. I have stepped away from the situation before when I needed to, and I have no trouble doing it again.

Being here, at this present moment, is serving a purpose for me, but I see no need to share that with CDLand, as it's not relevant. At the time when that purpose is no longer served, I will make a change.

Happy Monday to all -- even to those who are retired and don't keep track of the days.

Well why didn't you mention this in the first post that he is lonely, bored and depressed, sheesh! that's a whole different scenario than your original post.

Those require different answers and different questions. Like is he seeing a doctor for depression? Is he going to a senior center or involved in any groups that cater to seniors? Is he physically very tired or in pain and unable to drive or do many activities?
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