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Old 09-17-2019, 08:15 AM
 
2,055 posts, read 459,250 times
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The problem with threads like this is if you're like me, you don't read all 18 pages before posting. You just jump right in with a comment as I did when OP has already gotten sound advice.
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Old 09-17-2019, 08:42 AM
 
6,645 posts, read 5,294,406 times
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I thought of this thread yesterday when a super hyper sibling made a weird comment.

She says she gets anxious to have to go to the potty for #2. Says she feels she is wasting time while eliminating waste.

Isn't that nuts. Says she could be doing something else.
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Old 09-17-2019, 08:44 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
32,755 posts, read 20,648,485 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
I thought of this thread yesterday when a super hyper sibling made a weird comment.

She says she gets anxious to have to go to the potty for #2. Says she feels she is wasting time while eliminating waste.

Isn't that nuts. Says she could be doing something else.
No, I'm the same. /lol

Smart phones have been a godsend for me.
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Old 09-17-2019, 08:46 AM
 
6,645 posts, read 5,294,406 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
No, I'm the same. /lol

Smart phones have been a godsend for me.
i guess i am lucky. I am done with that first thing in the morning. A few seconds and it is out!

Then it is shower time.
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Old 09-17-2019, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,894 posts, read 3,393,685 times
Reputation: 12681
My sister had a saying that usually came true: something does not smell right.
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Old 09-17-2019, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Near Manito
19,617 posts, read 21,108,075 times
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I stay sharp.

My wife and I have a good daily schedule: she practices piano for two hours every morning, and she kicks me out of the house right after breakfast.

That way, I’m forced to be out and about every morning: at the park, interacting with humans and/ or nature, power-walking backwards at the mall (amazing how many strangers I encounter that way), or doing research on potrzebie at the library.

Life is doog.
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Old 09-17-2019, 11:21 AM
 
5,458 posts, read 3,549,836 times
Reputation: 13849
Quote:
Originally Posted by funisart View Post

I went back to read more of her posts, in order to better understand what was going on.

Check out

Ethical Question re Elderly Children Giving Care To Their Elderly Parents (adult, Medicaid) Thread in Caregiving, post #40.

What she isn’t saying in this thread is it is all about keeping the house up, and being in it so that she can keep it. She is planning on living in it in retirement- it is in a lower cost of living area, that is why she is staying there. She doesn’t trust her brother to help keep the house up. She is expecting her husband to follow her there. What she might not have considered is that her father could live many more years and need his equity during end of life care.

No one should count on an inheritance— years away from husband and children seems a bad deal for a house that might not become hers after all.
I had a feeling it was about inheritance - including her father's house. I almost posted my thought that it might be about inheritance, but thought I'd wait or just not approach it. Glad you posted about it above!

When the OP said she doesn't want to give a reason or reasons why she is living with her father rather than her husband, inheritance came to mind......and came to mind also before that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post

I have lived with my dad for almost all of the last 5 years
-- first in a part-time capacity helping to care for my dying mother as I flew back and forth between here and my chosen home 3 states away, where my sainted husband and nearly grown children live). When she died, I started chunking my time to average about 8 months out of the year, serving as companion to a depressed and lonely widower.
A daughter has no responsibility to serve as a 'companion' to a widowed father nor should a daughter think she needs to serve as a replacement for his deceased wife. It sounds very unhealthy psychologically and just common sense wise.

Seems to be a combination of wanting her father's house as inheritance and a very strong need to feel needed.

Last edited by matisse12; 09-17-2019 at 11:44 AM..
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Old 09-17-2019, 04:40 PM
 
10,145 posts, read 6,883,720 times
Reputation: 2524
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.

My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.

I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.
Old people lose creativity and motivation. Don't judge!
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Old 09-17-2019, 05:17 PM
 
4,551 posts, read 4,832,406 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
I thought of this thread yesterday when a super hyper sibling made a weird comment.

She says she gets anxious to have to go to the potty for #2. Says she feels she is wasting time while eliminating waste.

Isn't that nuts. Says she could be doing something else.


Well, she could wear adult diapers and then she wouldn't have to stop moving.
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Old 09-17-2019, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,894 posts, read 3,393,685 times
Reputation: 12681
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
I thought of this thread yesterday when a super hyper sibling made a weird comment.

She says she gets anxious to have to go to the potty for #2. Says she feels she is wasting time while eliminating waste.

Isn't that nuts. Says she could be doing something else.

Do you have any idea when that started for her?

When I was a young kid, I hated sitting on the toilet to do #2 because I thought something would come up from the toilet and get me in the butt. Thankfully that fear went away at some point.

If there was abuse that caused that in me, I don't remember it.
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