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Old Today, 11:17 AM
 
Location: 49th parallel
2,713 posts, read 1,432,923 times
Reputation: 5597

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Anyone who's 65 and wants to disparage someone who's 80 should wait a few years. Great that you're 65 and retired and all full of energy. Just try and remember those days when you're a couple of decades older.

OP, have you driven to your dad's house on the weekends and said, "Hi Dad, how about coming out with me for a walk on that park trail in town? We could go for a coffee after." Or have you just observed and judged? Maybe your dad's work was his everything and he did not develop any hobbies that could have lasted him into his later years. I know a lot of people like that. They sometimes need some outside help nudging them to do things.
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Old Today, 11:22 AM
 
Location: USA
1,158 posts, read 455,227 times
Reputation: 3177
Quote:
Originally Posted by ndcairngorm View Post
Anyone who's 65 and wants to disparage someone who's 80 should wait a few years. Great that you're 65 and retired and all full of energy. Just try and remember those days when you're a couple of decades older.

OP, have you driven to your dad's house on the weekends and said, "Hi Dad, how about coming out with me for a walk on that park trail in town? We could go for a coffee after." Or have you just observed and judged? Maybe your dad's work was his everything and he did not develop any hobbies that could have lasted him into his later years. I know a lot of people like that. They sometimes need some outside help nudging them to do things.
Don't tell that to my aunt. After a lifetime of teaching and being a principal, after working every weekend as a photographer to supplement her income, after playing the piano at church for the last 30 years or so, she can still work anyone her age, 80, under the table. I've never seen anyone so driven to stay busy with her hobbies, church, community, etc.

As I trend towards retirement, I told MrsK7 that I can see taking extended bicycle rides in the mornings and relaxing in the afternoons. I'm looking forward to retirement which will be spent somewhere between my vision and that of my aunt's.
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Old Today, 11:29 AM
 
6,550 posts, read 3,047,580 times
Reputation: 16680
Lawdy be!

My parent - single mom. 7 kids. A lifetime of double duties..family events. At 68..first heart surgery. Tried to retire but her job field (medical) beckoned her back. At 72..she simply said : enough. 58 years of double shifts..and family obligations.
Up went her feet on a recliner and not one of us kids shamed her for taking it easy. She dern well deserved every quiet day...knitting...reading..or cooking.
I miss her every day . I know that had she kept working...it would have lessened her time on earth. The stress..the overworking took its toll..
I look forward to plopping my feet up ..and easing into quiet days and less stress. Bring on those golden days of doing things at a gentle pace.
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Old Today, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
32,640 posts, read 20,552,524 times
Reputation: 47129
Wow, that was....... aggressive.


You do understand that all people are different?


I'm a goal oriented person, so in retirement I still have goals, and projects, chores and structure. But that's because I enjoy that.
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Old Today, 11:46 AM
 
2,429 posts, read 1,231,663 times
Reputation: 10100
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.

My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.

I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.
It's his life, and it's almost over at 80. It's his time to relax and do what he wants, not his time to please you.

What would you have him do...slave away at a job to continue making money, rather than relax and do what he wants? BOO on you.
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Old Today, 11:52 AM
 
28,394 posts, read 40,270,393 times
Reputation: 36961
Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
Oh, they might very certainly change when they are 80 and not feeling up to snuff anymore. No one feels as good or has nearly the energy at 80 as they did 20 years earlier.
This. I was the one who was always strong as a bull, would get up Saturday morning and spend the entire day working on the yard, the car, etc. Then go out for the evening. At the age of 61 I contracted shingles. During that I had some TIAs that caused problems. I could no longer do simple math, for instance, and I was a math whiz.

Then peripheral neuropathy from the shingles. Vertigo showed up. Tinnitus. Lack of balance.

So, no, not all of us can "just keep going".
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Old Today, 12:07 PM
Status: "Hard work is never easy" (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Florida/Tennessee
3,111 posts, read 4,453,191 times
Reputation: 1787
For me.... and I'd say others should think of this before they retire, identify the "goal" you speak of in general broad terms. The goal is never gonna be "the end" or death... or at least in my mind it shouldn't.

If you see the goal as reaching the top of the mountain (my personal vision) and you achieve it, take some time to look around and enjoy the view. It looks really good up there. Feels good too, making it with hard work . Nothing wrong with pride in our personal achievements. However you'll notice the tops of mountains are bare. Usually nothing grows there, so stick around a bit and enjoy the view.

There will always be a time when time to get off the top. That's where I am. I also found a mountain stream showing me the way down. There are some rapids and waterfalls along the way, but done right... they're fun. In addition I notice up ahead, as far as I can see, the stream becomes a broader river that moves along at leisurely pace. I'll probably go back up stream a few times to enjoy the challenges, but there's a part of me wanting to get a tube and enjoy the lazy river, with a cold beverage of my choosing.

I'll always like to fish... and that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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Old Today, 12:16 PM
 
5,276 posts, read 2,570,223 times
Reputation: 4857
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.

My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.

I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.
As people get older, and not necessarily 80 years old, just older than, say, 40, they are a bit bored with the same old topics being presented as innovative ideas by 20 year old geniuses who think they discovered the wheel. Maybe hook him up with the local library audio book lending library. That way he can listen to a story while glancing at the clock.

As for activity levels, it takes energy and enthusiasm to go out and do things alone. As people get older, that energy and enthusiasm is lower. Why not schedule one day a week to take him to lunch at a cool restaurant. My mom really enjoyed that - sushi, thai, italian - always and exciting adventure for her. That one outing might lead him to make it two and to gradually become more active. If you're really adventurous, pick him up and take him to the pool at 7AM for the early morning water exercises - my mom made a whole new social group doing that in her 80s.

Just for fun, give him a sketch book with some pencil crayons and ask him to illustrate something from a memory. I suppose what I'm saying is : what can you do to make change while giving your father the impression that it is his idea to change?
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Old Today, 12:19 PM
 
Location: california
5,781 posts, read 4,972,503 times
Reputation: 6843
Take him fishing .
you don't have to catch any thing, it's just being out there. take book along.
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Old Today, 12:26 PM
 
202 posts, read 113,728 times
Reputation: 332
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.

My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.

I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.

At some point aren't you just happy to be alive and not have some body part falling off? At 80yo reducing risk and chilling out it probably a strong strategy.
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