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Old Yesterday, 01:33 PM
 
260 posts, read 93,513 times
Reputation: 1239

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I don't see anything wrong with doing "nothing." After it is all said and done, working is a pain in the ass. Get up, get ready, fight traffic, go to some building, put up with nonsense, drive home, fix dinner, collapse, repeat. After years and years of this, I want to wake up, eat a leisurely breakfast, go for a walk, feed the birds, relax, read a book, and generally screw off. That does not sound like much, but to me it would be a well deserved break from a lifetime of working.
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Old Yesterday, 01:41 PM
 
7,680 posts, read 8,864,995 times
Reputation: 10044
At 80 hopefully your father still has his memory. This is a great opportunity to spend time asking him questions about his life, what things he remembers growing up, family members, his parents, his grandparents, what it was like if he joined the military, stories about dating your mother, just anything you might want to know or think grandkids might want to know someday. These can be priceless memories he may not have access to in a few years as easily as he might right now.

You could take notes or just record him talking, as a way of getting some family history and perspective. Once he's gone you won't be able to, so this would give him something interesting to do and think about so he can tell you. Maybe he'd even feel motivated enough to take some notes and then tell you the stories around what he's noted.

Just an idea...
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Old Yesterday, 02:47 PM
 
5,276 posts, read 2,571,966 times
Reputation: 4857
I think it's a fair point to look at how some people's lives seem so empty and fear that type of future. Ten years ago a female colleague with a face like a raison claimed that she was celebrating her 60th birthday. I boldly stated that if I look like that at 60, please put me out of my misery.
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Old Yesterday, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,861 posts, read 3,372,297 times
Reputation: 12603
^^^^^^^^^ Bet she spent a lot of time in the sun.
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Old Yesterday, 02:54 PM
 
1,683 posts, read 779,926 times
Reputation: 9197
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.

My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.

I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.
I'm curious, OP. In your opinion, what would he need to be doing to meet your idea of a goal or purpose? What activities would you consider to not be wasting "precious time"?

Is he reading? Watching TV? Listening to the radio Ė in the hours between coffee and supper? Or truly just sitting there watching the clock and the grass grow? I hope that's a bit of hyperbole on your part.

Have you invited him to do something on a regular basis with you?

You've taken a bit of a beating here today so I don't know if we'll hear from you again.
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Old Yesterday, 02:57 PM
Status: "Keep your chin up." (set 4 days ago)
 
9,012 posts, read 11,021,864 times
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It's your issue though, not his.
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Old Yesterday, 03:02 PM
 
5,276 posts, read 2,571,966 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
^^^^^^^^^ Bet she spent a lot of time in the sun.
Either that, or she was 70 and pretending she was 60. She was a closet smoker who loudly criticized smokers, so nothing about her made sense. Still, I knew that I did not want her reality as my future.
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Old Yesterday, 03:13 PM
 
1,468 posts, read 1,149,761 times
Reputation: 5156
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmp61616 View Post
I don't see anything wrong with doing "nothing." After it is all said and done, working is a pain in the ass. Get up, get ready, fight traffic, go to some building, put up with nonsense, drive home, fix dinner, collapse, repeat. After years and years of this, I want to wake up, eat a leisurely breakfast, go for a walk, feed the birds, relax, read a book, and generally screw off. That does not sound like much, but to me it would be a well deserved break from a lifetime of working.
Exactly!!
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Old Yesterday, 03:53 PM
 
Location: R.I.
1,057 posts, read 642,936 times
Reputation: 4585
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.

My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.

I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.

Would you prefer your 80 year old father return to the workforce and possibly drop dead while working to fulfill your need for him to be productive ???
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Old Yesterday, 04:20 PM
 
3,610 posts, read 1,698,593 times
Reputation: 13615
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.

My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.

I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.
Who are you to sit on your high horse and judge what is wasting time? How you choose to use your time is your business but it certainly isn't superior to other people's choices.
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