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Old 09-18-2019, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
9,297 posts, read 3,169,831 times
Reputation: 14113

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve McDonald View Post
There are almost countless reasons why many people are single. You can't accurately generalize about the causes. Some single people couldn't even tell you why they don't have a mate. Just one of the possible reasons, is that some may have had extended family duties that precluded having a romantic relationship during their best years for doing that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
But that is a reason due very much to the psychological makeup and psyche of the person. That reason is trying to couch a lack of romantic relationships (or having one significant other) in altruistic and self-sacrificing terms to make a person look sacrificial and as if they are always putting someone else before their own needs - rather than the true reasons which lie in the psychological makeup, psyche, behavior, choices, or essence as a person.

Your response is just so much double-talk. You seem to be describing someone who is altruistic and self-sacrificing, as having a fault or weakness if they remain single. And that they are using what they do to help others, as a camouflage to hide their flaws. Apparently, no good deed goes uncriticized, in your estimation.
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Old 09-18-2019, 07:04 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,933 posts, read 14,672,999 times
Reputation: 24640
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
i don't know what the ***** stands for - but obviously means woman hopper(?). As far as being considered as possibly gay in this situation, you have posted several times that you are bisexual and have had gay experiences in the past and also gay experience in more recent times (depending on the definition of recent) so anyone thinking you might be gay or bisexual is not inaccurate, even though you have chosen to have a heterosexual relationship with your recent ex-girlfriend with the bad hips.

I think you're talking to the wrong people in your current environment, and that there are plenty of people in your locale who would not think it is odd for a 32 year old or 34 year old man to have a condo. And just because a couple of people think it's odd or questioned it, it doesn't mean the rest of 1000's of people in your region think so.

You're doing what people on cd often do - because a couple people (or even just one or two) mention something, they exaggerate and extrapolate and apply it to 100's or 1000's of others, when it's really just a couple of people or just a few who think something.

But you can rest assured that it is not common thinking to think you're a certain way because you're not married at age 32 or 34, and because you've bought a condo as a single person.
+1
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Old 09-18-2019, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Central IL
15,528 posts, read 8,895,135 times
Reputation: 36554
Quote:
Originally Posted by adlnc07 View Post
When I bought a condo in 1988 at the ripe old age of 24 my mortgage paperwork had me listed as a "spinster!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
LOL, I'm not even sure what the big deal is. No matter how you are listed on the deed, it doesn't affect your life.
I was simply explaining how one could be "legally single" when buying property because is was a source of curiosity on several posts. I've bought and sold 3 homes since the 1980s and am now in the process of buying my final retirement home. In all cases I am listed as "a single man" because I've never been married. It's one of 3 options given when you fill out the paperwork and appears on the final deed. It's also quite possible this may vary from state to state, I don't know.
It's not a big deal but some people seem to be very sensitive to being legally labeled as "unmarried" vs "single" on property deeds.
I would hardly consider being called "single" nearly as insulting as being called a "spinster" EVER, much less when in your 20's - there is just no comparison. And the fact that being a spinster has absolutely no relation to getting a mortgage.
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Old 09-18-2019, 07:42 PM
 
12,295 posts, read 5,438,183 times
Reputation: 20141
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
I would hardly consider being called "single" nearly as insulting as being called a "spinster" EVER, much less when in your 20's - there is just no comparison. And the fact that being a spinster has absolutely no relation to getting a mortgage.
I do believe she was joking about being called spinster. OP, I hope you were joking right?
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Old 09-18-2019, 08:02 PM
 
8,341 posts, read 5,255,448 times
Reputation: 14172
Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
LOL, I'm not even sure what the big deal is. No matter how you are listed on the deed, it doesn't affect your life.
Terminology matters, and a deed is an important legal document. If the deed to my house said, "Ohio Peasant, Untermensch", I'd resent that, even if the document were locked in my filing-cabinet, and nobody ever had occasion to read it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
It's not a big deal but some people seem to be very sensitive to being legally labeled as "unmarried" vs "single" on property deeds.
It becomes a big deal, once the adjectives in use assume a normative value. Suppose for example that a man is of physically short stature, and goes to buy clothing. The section of the store that fits him, has a sign that says, "Runts and other half-made men". Who would care to patronize such a clothing-store? Indeed, retailers go to great lengths not to offend their clientele. Men's suits cut for a heavier figure are denoted as "portly", rather than say "fat slob", or "obese degenerate".

In a similar way, the prevailing assertion is that an unmarried person lacks maturity and therefore lacks the substantial worth and dignity of a proper householder. To remain unmarried is to remain in a transient, in-training stage of life, before we become properly adults. For such a person to buy a house, is akin to a medical resident muscling aside the senior doctors to perform a delicate operation. Is a misordering of how life's supposed to work. That at least is the conventional and prevailing prejudice, and real estate, being one of the most conservative areas of commerce, persists in this prejudice.
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Old 09-18-2019, 08:10 PM
 
12,295 posts, read 5,438,183 times
Reputation: 20141
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant View Post
Terminology matters, and a deed is an important legal document. If the deed to my house said, "Ohio Peasant, Untermensch", I'd resent that, even if the document were locked in my filing-cabinet, and nobody ever had occasion to read it.



It becomes a big deal, once the adjectives in use assume a normative value. Suppose for example that a man is of physically short stature, and goes to buy clothing. The section of the store that fits him, has a sign that says, "Runts and other half-made men". Who would care to patronize such a clothing-store? Indeed, retailers go to great lengths not to offend their clientele. Men's suits cut for a heavier figure are denoted as "portly", rather than say "fat slob", or "obese degenerate".

In a similar way, the prevailing assertion is that an unmarried person lacks maturity and therefore lacks the substantial worth and dignity of a proper householder. To remain unmarried is to remain in a transient, in-training stage of life, before we become properly adults. For such a person to buy a house, is akin to a medical resident muscling aside the senior doctors to perform a delicate operation. Is a misordering of how life's supposed to work. That at least is the conventional and prevailing prejudice, and real estate, being one of the most conservative areas of commerce, persists in this prejudice.
It bothers some people, it doesn't bother me. Personally, I don't care if the deed of my house says "a single man" or an "unmarried man". That's what we're talking about here. It's not going to affect my life in the least.
Sorry some people do not like what is put on their deed as a description of their marital status. It isn't my fault.

Last edited by marino760; 09-18-2019 at 08:39 PM..
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Old 09-18-2019, 11:09 PM
 
1,836 posts, read 2,528,455 times
Reputation: 4168
Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
It bothers some people, it doesn't bother me. Personally, I don't care if the deed of my house says "a single man" or an "unmarried man". That's what we're talking about here. It's not going to affect my life in the least.
Sorry some people do not like what is put on their deed as a description of their marital status. It isn't my fault.
But that’s just the point. You’re the one making a big deal about the wording on a deed. You appear to wear the “legally single” label like a badge of honor. Its not even relevant to the original question. Obviously, it is important.
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Old 09-19-2019, 05:37 AM
 
12,295 posts, read 5,438,183 times
Reputation: 20141
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmills View Post
But that’s just the point. You’re the one making a big deal about the wording on a deed. You appear to wear the “legally single” label like a badge of honor. Its not even relevant to the original question. Obviously, it is important.
Sorry you got that impression. I'm done.
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Old 09-19-2019, 11:10 AM
 
1,322 posts, read 486,744 times
Reputation: 4180
Quote:
Originally Posted by adlnc07 View Post
When I bought a condo in 1988 at the ripe old age of 24 my mortgage paperwork had me listed as a "spinster!"
WOW!
That's hilarious ...sort of.

But it does highlight how a word is not necessarily a 'legal term' simply because some fool scribbled it on a 'legal document'!
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Old 10-01-2019, 07:26 AM
 
8,043 posts, read 11,831,948 times
Reputation: 10679
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
On the affluent and highly educated left coast and right coast, single is normal. It's not like eastern Tennessee where people get married as they graduate from high school and then pop out kids. Generally, the higher the income level and education level, the lower the birthrate.
Um. Till what age? I think the statistics about never marrying are pretty low. Your comment doesn't really have much meaning without an age. What you are saying is that educated, going to college types put off marrying till later.
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