U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-16-2019, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Location: Happy Place
3,786 posts, read 1,971,137 times
Reputation: 11699

Advertisements

My son is 40 and has never married.

I do not think him weird at all!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-16-2019, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Arizona
237 posts, read 134,824 times
Reputation: 1109
Quote:
Originally Posted by ABQ2015 View Post
A few years later I was looking for a larger older home in an established neighborhood. Some of the sellers were older retired couples who were downsizing but did not want to sell their home to a single person. They had raised their families in those homes and wanted it to be sold to a married couple with children.
THAT was discrimination. Sellers wouldn't get away with denying the sale of a house to someone based on their marital status today. (or race, creed etc.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2019, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Mt. Lebanon
1,890 posts, read 1,992,091 times
Reputation: 2027
if you ask me it is weird to get married. Marriage is such a huge commitment! Just for perpetuating the specie?
Oh, no, not worth it. Been there, done that. Will never marry again. In e relationship, yes. Married? No.

It is not weird at all to own property no matter your age and social status. Just ignore! Just because there are families around you it doesnt mean that's the norm and you should adhere to it. Single is better.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2019, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,825 posts, read 4,142,558 times
Reputation: 21456
I think there is a ton of disadvantages and discrimination aimed at people who are unmarried, particularly lifelong unmarried people. Things that go deeper and are worse than just being thought of as "weird".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2019, 02:37 PM
 
26,600 posts, read 29,015,766 times
Reputation: 25611
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
I'm lifelong legally single. I just closed on a property Friday. I've met various people at restaurants, bars, etc.., since then. I've gotten the impression from them that being a single male property owner is "weird."

I don't see myself marrying. This "condition" will likely persist. It's unlikely that I'll marry or have kids within the next couple of years.

As you aged and remained or become single, how did you handle it? Logistically and socially? Do you feel discriminated against because you choose to remain legally single?

I'm gay and single and haven't lived with a partner in 20+ years. I've always felt like a weirdo, so I'm completely oblivious to what other people think. I guess that's easier to do in a liberal area where people don't care about such things; but I learned a long time ago to just do what was right for me and forget about what other people were doing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2019, 02:49 PM
 
8,325 posts, read 5,249,836 times
Reputation: 14160
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
I'm gay and single and haven't lived with a partner in 20+ years. I've always felt like a weirdo, so I'm completely oblivious to what other people think. I guess that's easier to do in a liberal area where people don't care about such things; but I learned a long time ago to just do what was right for me and forget about what other people were doing.
What's hard is watching your friends from college and grad-school gradually melt away, as even the most frolicsome playboys "settle down", marry and have kids. I've seen many of my friendships with other men atrophy, as family pressures took over. There were also plenty of instances where the guy's wife didn't like me, and gave him an ultimatum: "Either Ohio Peasant, or me!". The fellow generally chooses to keep the marriage intact.

Independent people can thrive regardless of their social circle. But here's the thing... as our careers advance, we do less technical work ourselves, and delegate more. Eventually we reach the point where we give speeches, shake hands, travel, cut ribbons, write recommendations, nominate people for awards, do "long range forecasting" at the like. But we can no longer operate lab-apparatus, do math, cut a piece of wood, paint a wall, tune an engine. Our practical skills atrophy. We become dependent on others. Where can I find a good mechanic? That depends on recommendations. Can my friends recommend somebody? Uh-oh, no friends? Then what - yelp? Angie's list? Our lives become fraught and dicey. We rely on socializing to find solutions, and if bereft of such socializing, we're left in solitary pangs of imposed self-reliance... for which we're unprepared.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2019, 04:29 PM
 
26,600 posts, read 29,015,766 times
Reputation: 25611
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant View Post
What's hard is watching your friends from college and grad-school gradually melt away, as even the most frolicsome playboys "settle down", marry and have kids. I've seen many of my friendships with other men atrophy, as family pressures took over. There were also plenty of instances where the guy's wife didn't like me, and gave him an ultimatum: "Either Ohio Peasant, or me!". The fellow generally chooses to keep the marriage intact.

Yeah, that happened for me a long time ago, but I admit I don't hang around straight guys. Of course, gay men are a whole other can of worms. So pick your poison.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant View Post
Independent people can thrive regardless of their social circle. But here's the thing... as our careers advance, we do less technical work ourselves, and delegate more. Eventually we reach the point where we give speeches, shake hands, travel, cut ribbons, write recommendations, nominate people for awards, do "long range forecasting" at the like. But we can no longer operate lab-apparatus, do math, cut a piece of wood, paint a wall, tune an engine. Our practical skills atrophy. We become dependent on others. Where can I find a good mechanic? That depends on recommendations. Can my friends recommend somebody? Uh-oh, no friends? Then what - yelp? Angie's list? Our lives become fraught and dicey. We rely on socializing to find solutions, and if bereft of such socializing, we're left in solitary pangs of imposed self-reliance... for which we're unprepared.

Yeah, I guess I don't have those issues because I have a mundane, non-supervisory type job. I find asking around at work for such things is helpful. I guess the practical problems you outline have never been an issue for me. I have my close circle of friends and it seems to work.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2019, 04:48 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
3,103 posts, read 2,147,354 times
Reputation: 6390
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
On the affluent and highly educated left coast and right coast, single is normal. It's not like eastern Tennessee where people get married as they graduate from high school and then pop out kids. Generally, the higher the income level and education level, the lower the birthrate.
The Idiocracy effect.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2019, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,766 posts, read 4,284,927 times
Reputation: 6879
The only time my marital status was recorded in property records was when it was relevant. For example, it was not relevant that I was married when I purchased a house as sole owner. That particular purchase did not identify me as married, single or anything else.
There is also no reason I need to identify myself as "divorced." It's just stupid. I am, in fact, single. Just ask the IRS.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2019, 05:45 PM
 
26,600 posts, read 29,015,766 times
Reputation: 25611
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
On the affluent and highly educated left coast and right coast, single is normal. It's not like eastern Tennessee where people get married as they graduate from high school and then pop out kids. Generally, the higher the income level and education level, the lower the birthrate.
Yeah, it's a very serious problem. The more able are having fewer kids than the less able. It makes me question who's actually more able in the long run.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top