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Old 09-19-2019, 06:30 PM
 
7,262 posts, read 4,002,144 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmp61616 View Post
For single older men - still working or retired - where do you go to meet single age appropriate women? I'm 60 and I don't think I would have anything in common with a person less than 50. And that is pushing it. I am thinking the 55-65 age range. The dating sites are no good in my opinion. The women there seem to have lots of men write them and it is difficult to find any kind of connection. Do you take classes, go to church, what? I always read these stories about single older women wanting companionship but I don't see it. Or I am looking in the wrong place.
I have a male relative with the same issue. But the thing is, HE doesn't do anything where he can meet women. He has no hobbies or interests, except taking the grandkids to McDonald's or their ball games.

I'm a single older woman. I'm a homebody. So there's that.

I am joining a gym (seniors get 50% discount). Have you checked out a local gym where seniors get a discount?

I walk in the local park frequently. My dog is with me, but I also walk alone.

I also walk in two other parks further away. A MAN ENGAGED ME IN CONVERSATION AT ONE OF THEM. But we didn't exchange numbers or anything. It didn't occur to me until later that he might have been flirting with me.

I walk the neighborhood sometimes.

I am considering volunteering to work the polls on election days. It's possible that you would have some luck participating in local politics. Volunteering for your political party, passing out pamphlets or whatever.

I'm not involved in churches, but I think a lot of women are. Especially things like putting together food packages for the needy, collecting or folding clothing for the needy.

I participate in local community online Facebook and nextdoor.com groups. Do you? It's for community things...water issues, break-ins, elections, etc. And you don't know if someone is single or not, but over time you get to realize that someone MAY be single and see that they are going to attend a local event, like a flea market or whatever.

Speaking of flea markets...I like flea markets. A lot of women do.

I go to Home Depot, Lowe's, and places like that a lot. If you see a woman there buying fixit stuff, it's likely she's single. I wouldn't mind if a man approached me there, particularly if he offered to help me in some way.

The online thing sounds good to me. But it is pretty superficial, based on appearance and data. And you're competing against professionals who do that a lot, or are beautiful people. Still, everyone is looking, and available. I worked with a couple of people who married someone they met from an online dating service.

One possible issue w/older women is...not all of them are looking for a man. Many have spent their lives raising children and catering to one or more men. Now at their older age, they enjoy their freedom. Not having to cook, defer to someone else's wants & needs. I've had a couple of women even say they're glad the days of sex are over. So some are just not interested.
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Old 09-19-2019, 06:52 PM
 
7,262 posts, read 4,002,144 times
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To add to my prior post...

Are you healthy? One thing I've thought, if I were to meet someone, is...is he looking for someone to take care of him, when he gets ill? Men usu. die sooner, so will likely get medical issues sooner. To be a nursemaid to a husband you've been married to for decades is one thing, but for someone you've only known a couple of years is another. I guess it's not much different than men thinking women want them for financial security. That occurs to me, too. The man may be tapped out after years of child support or gambling, or a job without a retirement account. I've heard stories of men marrying women just to get their hands on the woman's retirement account.

So that's something to consider, when dating someone. But I don't know for certain how to determine that.

I will also add that, despite everything, there is love. I believe all people are able to fall in love, but it's harder when you're older. Hormones aren't pumping thru our bodies, any more. So the lust attraction that was there at 30 may not be there when you're 60. Both people are also possibly carrying baggage from prior relationships. Can people over 60 fall in love? I don't know. If that happens, though, the other issues can be dealt with. But doesn't everyone want to fall in love?

There is one final thing I started noticing when I hit middle age. Barbara Walters even mentioned this, as to herself, once. Men sometimes have an attitude that you should be grateful they are going out with you. Because after all, they can go out with much younger women. A man said to me once something like, "You know, I usually go out with younger women. But I made an exception in your case." He thought he was giving me a compliment. I'm guessing women who read that will know how offensive that was. As if I should get down on my knees, "Thank you so much! I'm so lucky that you decided to go out with someone as old as I am!" Pair that with the fact that he was sickly and a bit unattractive (but he was a great guy with a phenomenal voice...I have a thing for voices...he had a show on the local radio station). He was also a neighbor, so we had gotten to know each other.

Last edited by bpollen; 09-19-2019 at 07:55 PM..
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Old 09-19-2019, 08:08 PM
 
6,654 posts, read 5,306,899 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
There is one final thing I started noticing when I hit middle age. Barbara Walters even mentioned this, as to herself, once. Men sometimes have an attitude that you should be grateful they are going out with you. Because after all, they can go out with much younger women. A man said to me once something like, "You know, I usually go out with younger women. But I made an exception in your case." He thought he was giving me a compliment. I'm guessing women who read that will know how offensive that was. As if I should get down on my knees, "Thank you so much! I'm so lucky that you decided to go out with someone as old as I am!" Pair that with the fact that he was sickly and a bit unattractive (but he was a great guy with a phenomenal voice...I have a thing for voices...he had a show on the local radio station). He was also a neighbor, so we had gotten to know each other.
Maybe that is it - why it seems that older women want to be alone after they are widowed or divorced?

Very interesting. They know or have a sense that men would rather have someone younger.

I don't think most women would want a younger man. Not me. Same age - but younger now - at my age - nope.

Do older men realize that no matter how many blue pills they take, they will never be the 18 year old they once were?
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Old 09-19-2019, 09:12 PM
 
1,330 posts, read 1,763,726 times
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At this stage of life, if I were looking for a boyfriend, all I would care about is that he was reasonably healthy, made me laugh and held a positive view of life - absolutely no curmudgeons. I like the concept of being close but living apart.
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Old 09-20-2019, 12:32 AM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
9,287 posts, read 3,159,153 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sammythebull View Post
While this may be true of some men, I can tell you that as a man I completely disagree with the bulk of what you are saying here about men. While I may be "younger" than the age demographic you mention, since I'm 50, the generalization that you categorize as what "older" men want is completely false. I hate watching sports, love to cook, and keep myself in decent shape so no, I don't want anyone to "take care" of me. And I do my own laundry. I completely don't want to discount your experiences, and that can be a very valid reason for you wanting to be alone. I can relate to that. However, making the generalizations that "older men" this and that, is simply not accurate.

My father got up earlier than my mother and I, made his own breakfast and packed his own lunch. I followed his lead and learned to cook as a young boy, helped with the laundry and did most of the lawn mowing and watering. It's a bonus for kids to have two working parents, because they have to learn to be more self-sufficient and helpful. If it had been necessary, I could have done all the housework, cooking and bill-paying for the family, before I finished grade school. My folks would have just needed to sign the checks for the bills, bring in their paychecks and I could have handled everything else around the house. I walked, ran or rode a bike to school and didn't need to be driven places. Like my father, I learned to do hand-sewing and use a machine, to repair my own clothes. My mother was an excellent carpenter and cabinetmaker, as well as being a medical professional and I learned a lot from her. When we moved to a farm when I was 11, my mother and I each built quite a few chicken houses and pens.

The idea of having a woman around to take care of me, is not something I'd ever want. I've never been interested in the "domestic" type of women, who might be inclined to try to do that. My kind of woman is athletic and likes outdoor activities, the opposite of the "homemaker' sort.
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Old 09-20-2019, 12:57 AM
 
Location: southern california
56,177 posts, read 75,322,423 times
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I have found getting in the hot tub on cruises and complaining about property managers and chest pains -to be very effective
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Old 09-20-2019, 03:03 AM
 
73,585 posts, read 73,419,195 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
Maybe that is it - why it seems that older women want to be alone after they are widowed or divorced?

Very interesting. They know or have a sense that men would rather have someone younger.

I don't think most women would want a younger man. Not me. Same age - but younger now - at my age - nope.

Do older men realize that no matter how many blue pills they take, they will never be the 18 year old they once were?
there is a crossover point where younger is not that good... before i met my current wife i starting dating someone more than 20 years younger than i am .... i am starting to think in terms of retirement and she is thinking in terms of a house and kids
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Old 09-20-2019, 07:27 AM
 
3,200 posts, read 5,283,305 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
there is a crossover point where younger is not that good... before i met my current wife i starting dating someone more than 20 years younger than i am .... i am starting to think in terms of retirement and she is thinking in terms of a house and kids
Yes, I think age differential is something that seriously needs to be considered. While there needs to be some flexibility in age range of one's potential mate, too much flexibility could be problematic down the road.


For example, there might not be much difference between a 40 year old and a 60 year old. But wait until they are 60 and 80 respectively. Based on my observations and experience with family members, by the time someone reaches age 80, there is a good chance they could be experiencing some medical issues, mobility/physical limitations, possibly even cognitive issues; whereas the younger partner probably has years until they get to that point. The older partner may have retired years ago, but the younger partner is still working. Now, the younger partner has to take on more of a caretaker role for the older partner. The older partner will more than likely pass away years before the younger one, leaving that person widowed at an older age. The question in that situation would be: Is the younger person prepared to deal with that?
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Old 09-20-2019, 08:48 AM
 
10,708 posts, read 12,625,289 times
Reputation: 15152
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmp61616 View Post
For single older men - still working or retired - where do you go to meet single age appropriate women? I'm 60 and I don't think I would have anything in common with a person less than 50. And that is pushing it. I am thinking the 55-65 age range. The dating sites are no good in my opinion. The women there seem to have lots of men write them and it is difficult to find any kind of connection. Do you take classes, go to church, what? I always read these stories about single older women wanting companionship but I don't see it. Or I am looking in the wrong place.
Go to Target!

Ratio is 10 women for every man and they are already shopping for something they don't need!
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Old 09-20-2019, 08:51 AM
 
Location: The sleepy part of New York City
2,066 posts, read 1,278,858 times
Reputation: 4574
Even though I'm a happily married women who doesn't wear a wedding ring and isn't interested in meeting men. I do meet and happily chat with quite a few obviously single older men while food shopping late on a weekend evenings. You might want to try that sometime OP. Even if she's not interested in a relationship.. the practice is good for you, and who knows.. she may even have a friend that's single.
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