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Old 09-21-2019, 11:48 AM
 
73,586 posts, read 73,419,195 times
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i think my ring had some kind of ritual performed over it . it seems to possess special powers .

it has gps tracking , it has food detect , it knows what i eat and transmits back full info when she is not around . i believe it also makes me invisible to hot chicks ....
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Old 09-21-2019, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Anchorage
418 posts, read 218,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmp61616 View Post
"Don't wear a wedding ring" - That is why online dating is sometimes an advantage. When I see older women, the first thing I look for is a ring. If she has some huge sparkler on her finger I know the situation. If no ring - I try to get more information. It is annoying when you chat up a woman only to find out she has a husband. The same thing happens when you find out they have been living with some guy for years. Fortunately, most women will lay it on you right off the bat. All you have to do is ask - "do anything fun last weekend" - and that is their cue to say - "I did xyz with my husband, boyfriend, significant other" - and that is the end of that.

It shouldn't be. I mean don't continue thinking you'll have some sort of romantic relationship with her, but continue the conversation and be friendly. She may have a sister, cousin, friend, etc. that is single and if she likes you, it could lead to an introduction to someone else. Likely won't happen that day or the next week, but down the line, who knows.
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Old 09-21-2019, 05:58 PM
 
6,712 posts, read 3,481,365 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
If a woman is allowed in here, I wanted to say it makes me glad to see that men realize that they wouldn't have much in common with a much younger woman. Being close to the same age makes a lot of difference.

I live in a complex for seniors and let's see, how did the men meet their women? One 90 yr old met his "lady friend", as he calls her, in a hot tub at the fitness club. Women usually like to use the pool area more than the area that has all the machines. LOTS of senior women go to pools at fitness centers for exercise.

Another man met his because they both live here and he would see her walking her dog.

Another senior couple I know met at church because they both ended up on the same committee for the food pantry.

Another senior women did meet a man on a dating site. They had trouble because he really kept insisting that he wanted a younger women--she's in her 70s, he's in his 60s-- and she's the best thing that ever happened to him! The younger ones didn't want what he wants, a woman for companionship, day trips, eat out, watch football on tv.

Good luck, men. I truly recommend the fitness center--I go to one and it's easy to meet people there--especially in the pool or the hot tub.
This ^^ great advice and ideas here.

Another positive thing about fitness centers is the members generally tend to take better care of themselves.
Also, some areas have top notch senior centers with all kinds of activities, travel, gyms, hiking, poker, bridge, hostory classes, lecturers, etc .
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Old 09-23-2019, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,229 posts, read 23,613,278 times
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Originally Posted by SunGrins View Post
Written by a woman but I think it often applies to both genders of our ages and shows that the socially-expected norm or quest for a partner is not for everyone. I had a soul-mate for 35 years and don't expect to have another. I have been alone for twelve years and like it. I have no intention of burying another wife. I can manage on my own now quite nicely. I'm independent and have no desire to give that up or take on a housemate. I'm not shy about hiring someone to clean or do major chores if it comes to that. That being said, I would welcome close female friendships and the occasional perspective that that would provide and the company on occasional music or theater events but with the recognition that we have separate lives and interests. Most of my hobbies are solitary -- fly-fishing, photography, etc. -- but I like road trips and live sporting events from time to time. Participation is optional, but I won't stay home because I don't have a companion to go along. I am pretty much comfortable with my own company. Everybody is different in how they live their lives and there is no "one size fits all" approach to any of this.
This is great. I am very much like you. I do like the company of strangers. I just like to go home where I am the queen of my castle and my life. I love going on group trips with strangers. It's so much less stress than trying to coordinate even another non-romantic friend. I find that can be stressful - coordinating rides and dealing with someone who might be running late, or dealing with their likes, dislikes, whatever. I prefer to go on trips where I have zero responsibility regarding anyone else having fun or wanting to leave before I want to, etc. If I just sign up for a group trip or tour, I don't have anyone else to worry about and can have a great time with a bunch of strangers.

I've never had trouble chatting with strangers. So, I can go on a group thing and have company without worrying about anyone else's happiness, and then go home to my castle.

And I have a great dog to cuddle with who doesn't expect anything more from me than my company, food and a walk.
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Old 09-23-2019, 10:03 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,229 posts, read 23,613,278 times
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Originally Posted by MrRational View Post
I don't believe men and women were meant to live together.
I think perhaps they should live next door to one another and then visit now and then.
-- Katherine Hepburn
I love this. There is a great line from a movie that Andy McDowell was in, and I think it also had John Malkovich in it - where they were married but had separate adjoining bedrooms in a hotel they were staying in. And someone asks her why they don't share the same room and she says - sleep and sex are two distinctly different things. I loved that! So practical. It's rarely - at least for me - easy to sleep in the same bed with a man. Yet, men in my experience hate waking up without you there. And I could never explain to them that not being able to sleep with them turning over and wacking me with their arm or because they took up the whole bed or snored loudly - had nothing to do with me loving them or not.

Last edited by NoMoreSnowForMe; 09-23-2019 at 11:15 PM..
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Old 09-23-2019, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,229 posts, read 23,613,278 times
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Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
I think we are seeing the reason older men go for younger women
Nah. Men go for younger women because they are more attractive sexually. It's no more complicated than that.
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Old 09-23-2019, 10:35 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,229 posts, read 23,613,278 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mathlete View Post
I recommend a wife from an Asian culture. Asian women still like men and don't find domestic life loathsome. They tend to age well too. My wife is fifty but could pass for late thirties. Another big plus is marriage allows you residency in Asian countries which tend to have better, cheaper healthcare systems, with better access to preventative healthcare services. Regular preventative healthcare is a major factor in maintaining good health.
This is actually pretty funny - my uncle decided to marry a woman from China, thinking a Chinese woman who wanted American citizenship would be more subservient, or that her culture would cause her to be so, etc. He actually found a Chinese woman to marry him - yay!

Then, surprise, turns out she was actually a doctor and very well educated - and - had a daughter from a previous marriage who was going to be living with them. She turned out to be a hellion, bossy banshee of a woman LOL.

And they are well aware of how long they need to stay married to an American man before she gets full citizenship. I believe it's three years. But, she will definitely know this. And she'll know that she can divorce you and get half after she does her three years of domestic service.

Some may find true love this way, but I just really have to wonder why a man in America can't find an American woman out of the how many million women there are here? I mean, just think about that logically. Just seems kind of pathetic that an American man would have to shop for a woman from another country who would want an old guy just to get citizenship. But, some men really kid themselves that they actually find true love this way.

And if they know it's not true love, I suppose it's a mutual arrangement. At least for three years.
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Old 09-23-2019, 10:47 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,229 posts, read 23,613,278 times
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Originally Posted by Jay_F View Post
I'd like to add some respectful comments, and perhaps another perspective.

If said in the spirit that the man is unreasonable, has emotional weakness, is selfish, insecure, etc, I see it this way.

While I was participating in on-line dating, many, many profiles mentioned the same, or nearly the same-

"My kids come first, and always will"

And these same profiles many times mentioned their intention was to marry... I saw this as I would always be, or potentially always be plan 'B', never fully vested in the relationship, especially when times perhaps got a bit rough. Not to seem crass, but in no way could I willfully marry a person who told me upfront, others come before me in marriage/I am less than. It's not about macho masculinity, loss of dominance, or fear, or emotional weakness - It's all about equality and mutual respect. To me this would be a marriage of usefulness of unequals, where I could never trust a person who told me such, always waiting for the shoe to drop. Simply my .02 perspective from a man who understands a mothers love of her children/grand kids, yet also 'gets' the spirit of what you wrote ( I have kids).
I completely agree with you that when you are married, your marriage comes first. For me, this was important when it came to interfering parents or relatives - as in my parents or my husband's parents/relatives. Married people need to understand that their spouse and their own family unit comes first and they need to defend each other's stances and decisions vs the interfering parties.

This can be a real problem and is so common, especially when you're young and first married. I think this is where the stereotype comes into play with the overbearing mother-in-law. Boundaries need to be set. Your home unit must come first. On the other hand, your partner also shouldn't try to separate you from your kids or family unreasonably. it can be a fine line.
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Old 09-24-2019, 08:21 AM
 
289 posts, read 104,154 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay_F View Post
I'd like to add some respectful comments, and perhaps another perspective.

If said in the spirit that the man is unreasonable, has emotional weakness, is selfish, insecure, etc, I see it this way.

While I was participating in on-line dating, many, many profiles mentioned the same, or nearly the same-

"My kids come first, and always will"

And these same profiles many times mentioned their intention was to marry... I saw this as I would always be, or potentially always be plan 'B', never fully vested in the relationship, especially when times perhaps got a bit rough. Not to seem crass, but in no way could I willfully marry a person who told me upfront, others come before me in marriage/I am less than. It's not about macho masculinity, loss of dominance, or fear, or emotional weakness - It's all about equality and mutual respect. To me this would be a marriage of usefulness of unequals, where I could never trust a person who told me such, always waiting for the shoe to drop. Simply my .02 perspective from a man who understands a mothers love of her children/grand kids, yet also 'gets' the spirit of what you wrote ( I have kids).

Online dating has red flags that you have to figure out. As an older single, you have to figure they have kids and that will be a priority. But blanket statements of who comes first is a flag. You really need to be on the same page for religion and politics for instance. And of course I often think of the line from "Seinfeld" - Nobody's getting married here. I'm just looking for a date.
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Old 09-24-2019, 12:53 PM
 
7,262 posts, read 4,002,144 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2011KTM530 View Post
Yes, I agree. Most if not all women in my location and age have given up. Iím out there mountain biking and trail running and if I see a female, very rare, they are in their 20ís or younger. Iíve been doing my sports for the last year or so and have yet to see a female my age. Sad. But lots of land whales, my age, like 90%+ at the cookie isle grocery shopping. Not healthy.
Not to argue with your personal experience, but to point out...in the senior group, it is men who are more likely not to exercise and to be overweight than women. (you can Google that) BUT it is more likely that you would NOTICE more often that a woman is fat and out of shape than you'd notice the man. Just like you might notice bad female drivers more than you'd notice bad male drivers, though the stats don't bear that out.

It's sort of like a white supremacist noticing bad Af. American drivers more. It feeds into their already fixed perceptions, so they notice it.

As for older women not mountain biking or running where you do those things, women of all age ranges tend to do other types of exercises, like go to the gym, use equipment at home, or do routines @ home. Some walk daily in their neighborhoods or neighborhood small parks. Partly it's just because it's safer (physically & personal safety), you can do it at any time of the day and on any day, it takes less time, and it's just more fun. It's also easier on the joints than running (altho running on soil is better than cement). It's also better for the skin to avoid the outdoors to that extent on a regular basis.

Many women really don't have the kind of time it would take to go off on a mountain bike ride (enough for it to benefit her health-wise). Plus it's difficult, hauling a mountain bike onto the car. It's much easier and faster to do a quick exercise routine at home or go to the nearby gym or park.

I've exercised on a fairly frequent schedule since my late 20s, with short periods of time not exercising. The reason I've lasted so long with it is because I enjoy it, it's convenient, I can do it at any time on any day and anywhere, and I can dress in any way. I do floor exercises of various types...aerobics, resistance (using wts and w/o wts), yoga, dancing. I've done it at home and at various gyms. I've done it in hotels and staying w/relatives. I do it to music or even watching tv.

I can tell you that when I've gone to the gym over the years, it's rare to see a regular older man working out there. But there are women of all sizes and ages there (the preponderance being in their 20s and 30s). The men I've seen are those who are younger and into super-exercising, getting buff. They don't seem to be there for a quick workout for health in between mowing the lawn and grocery shopping for dinner.

I don't know any older men who exercise on a regular basis. I'm sure they exist, but I don't see them.
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