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Old 09-17-2019, 11:08 AM
 
Location: New Mexico
7,107 posts, read 3,921,802 times
Reputation: 13413

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Snipped and shortened a bit...

Don't get me wrong, I like men. I just don't want a boyfriend/husband.

Without one, I can do what I want, when I want. I can eat what I want and as much as I want. I can watch what I want on TV, I can sleep in peace without being bugged. And nobody is making me feel bad about myself based on my weight, etc.

I wish I could just beam someone down who would accompany me to shows or musical events, etc., but realistically, what are the odds I'd find a man who would want to go to the same things I'd want to go to - and - not also want me to go to something I'd abhor?

The bottom line is, even though I have moments of loneliness, I'm so much happier alone than I was when I had a man.
Written by a woman but I think it often applies to both genders of our ages and shows that the socially-expected norm or quest for a partner is not for everyone. I had a soul-mate for 35 years and don't expect to have another. I have been alone for twelve years and like it. I have no intention of burying another wife. I can manage on my own now quite nicely. I'm independent and have no desire to give that up or take on a housemate. I'm not shy about hiring someone to clean or do major chores if it comes to that. That being said, I would welcome close female friendships and the occasional perspective that that would provide and the company on occasional music or theater events but with the recognition that we have separate lives and interests. Most of my hobbies are solitary -- fly-fishing, photography, etc. -- but I like road trips and live sporting events from time to time. Participation is optional, but I won't stay home because I don't have a companion to go along. I am pretty much comfortable with my own company. Everybody is different in how they live their lives and there is no "one size fits all" approach to any of this.
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Old 09-17-2019, 11:16 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
29,196 posts, read 63,457,573 times
Reputation: 33564
I don't believe men and women were meant to live together.
I think perhaps they should live next door to one another and then visit now and then.
-- Katherine Hepburn
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Old 09-17-2019, 11:38 AM
 
937 posts, read 258,131 times
Reputation: 2502
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
Generalizations are never a good idea.

Most of my girlfriends are all in the 60 year age range and all workout and live an active lifestyle. One in particular has a current national pharma commercial.

I know no 60 year olds that are sedentary and just want to eat.
A relative of a friend is 75 y o woman- bench presses 415 lb, trains and participates in weight lifting competitions. Unfortunately for single guys- she is married !
Eat that!
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Old 09-17-2019, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Idaho
4,740 posts, read 4,640,909 times
Reputation: 9415
I'm off to go bike riding on forest trails through Farragut State Park. Maybe I'll get lucky and come across a nice 60-something lady riding the trails. Eh! Probably not.
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Old 09-17-2019, 01:24 PM
 
Location: Arizona
237 posts, read 134,355 times
Reputation: 1109
I think a lot of us who are divorced or widowed (men and women) are simply out of our element, we don't know what dating in 2019 looks like.

Being baby boomers or older (retirement forum) most of us were exposed to more traditional male/female roles when we were young and have lived thru the changes that took place because of equal rights, a change in morality, etc. etc. Where you fall on that spectrum dictates how you approach dating. How long you've been single comes into play. If you haven't had a date in 30 years I think it's fair to say there might be some hesitation and apprehension when jumping back into the dating pool. How have things changed, who asks who out, what's expected etc. etc.

Rakin wrote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
And you don't have to be Gay to be a fun, great date.
That's true but a women dating a gay man doesn't have to worry about how the night might end. People seldom speak about it but as we age we aren't always comfortable with the changes in our bodies. People in long term relationships get old over time not in a day. When you have a good relationship you don't notice the changes or you accept them because the person as a whole is more important than the size of his gut or the wrinkles on her face. It's much different than meeting someone for the first time when you're 60, 70 etc.

Can't help but wonder how many people avoid dating because they no longer feel attractive or are afraid they'll no longer be able to perform sexually if the relationship develops or they no longer have a desire for sex. It shouldn't be that way but I think for many it is. Men who degrade older women don't help the situation, the same is true for women who degrade older men.
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Old 09-17-2019, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Eastern Washington
14,526 posts, read 45,513,753 times
Reputation: 13306
Quote:
Originally Posted by volosong View Post
I'm off to go bike riding on forest trails through Farragut State Park. Maybe I'll get lucky and come across a nice 60-something lady riding the trails. Eh! Probably not.

Well, if you had been at that fly fishing event with ysr-racer...just keep your head up, she will show up when you least expect it.


If you will dance, if you want to spend the money to go on a cruise, the odds are good you would run into at least a few single ladies.
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Old 09-17-2019, 03:10 PM
 
1,114 posts, read 1,147,876 times
Reputation: 1502
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sibay View Post
I think a lot of us who are divorced or widowed (men and women) are simply out of our element, we don't know what dating in 2019 looks like.

Being baby boomers or older (retirement forum) most of us were exposed to more traditional male/female roles when we were young and have lived thru the changes that took place because of equal rights, a change in morality, etc. etc. Where you fall on that spectrum dictates how you approach dating. How long you've been single comes into play. If you haven't had a date in 30 years I think it's fair to say there might be some hesitation and apprehension when jumping back into the dating pool. How have things changed, who asks who out, what's expected etc. etc.

Rakin wrote:

That's true but a women dating a gay man doesn't have to worry about how the night might end. People seldom speak about it but as we age we aren't always comfortable with the changes in our bodies. People in long term relationships get old over time not in a day. When you have a good relationship you don't notice the changes or you accept them because the person as a whole is more important than the size of his gut or the wrinkles on her face. It's much different than meeting someone for the first time when you're 60, 70 etc.

Can't help but wonder how many people avoid dating because they no longer feel attractive or are afraid they'll no longer be able to perform sexually if the relationship develops or they no longer have a desire for sex. It shouldn't be that way but I think for many it is. Men who degrade older women don't help the situation, the same is true for women who degrade older men.
I couldn’t agree more. You put into words my exact fears about dating. Just going to the gynecologist for an exam was an issue. I finally was able to stop going last year. I am not sure how I would deal with sexual advances or even want them.
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Old 09-17-2019, 03:26 PM
 
73,585 posts, read 73,419,195 times
Reputation: 51185
I think we are seeing the reason older men go for younger women
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Old 09-17-2019, 03:36 PM
 
Location: SoCal
14,233 posts, read 6,830,169 times
Reputation: 11007
Hey we don’t get pregnant, that’s an advantage.
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Old 09-17-2019, 03:42 PM
 
73,585 posts, read 73,419,195 times
Reputation: 51185
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
Hey we donít get pregnant, thatís an advantage.
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