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Old 09-17-2019, 07:20 PM
 
6,654 posts, read 5,306,899 times
Reputation: 13786

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmp61616 View Post
Thanks for the women's views. I have seen this as well. I have a friend that I had a short term relationship with 12 years ago. I ran into her again and tried to rekindle things. No go. She seems totally uninterested in dating and sex now, with anybody. She's 62. It is depressing, because I do want companionship. What is the point of having money to travel and nobody to go with? My attempts at volunteering to meet people have fallen flat. I wound up working and not meeting anybody. I took an exercise class, and the women all had wedding rings on. I still work, but we are constantly warned about sexual harassment to the point where I am paranoid to even ask a co-worker out for coffee. I worry that I would be hauled into human resources, since any woman can go to them and say they were made "uncomfortable" by a male co-worker. The online dating thing is a real eye opener, and the dates I have been on could be fuel for a comedy routine. So I guess I will keep trying, but it seems like an uphill road.
Have you asked your friends or family if they know anyone? I am always matchmaking people in my head

And don't believe that all older women don't want a man around. I really don't understand this. They say they are too much work? What the heck. Maybe they trained them to be that way?

I am shocked that my siblings and friends have to do all their own vehicle maintenance appointments etc. They mow the yard and other things like that.

Me - no way. I mean i could. I was trained to do general maintenance checks on a 5ton vehicle in the military. But I'm okay with letting others do that type of thing for me. My roommate washes and cleans my car up to twice a week. He irons my clothes. He will be making dinner in a few minutes - lol.

We don't even have a relationship now - just roommates but we get along okay. If he ever finally moves out - it might be hard to replace him.

Good luck on your search.
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Old 09-17-2019, 07:21 PM
 
6,654 posts, read 5,306,899 times
Reputation: 13786
Quote:
Originally Posted by N.Cal View Post
You live in the wrong place or hang out with the wrong people. I'm female, around your age, race bikes and know lots of gals in our age range who ride. Men too. And lots of triathletes and swimmer in this age range. I do own 3 TVs, but also 7 bikes.
yes - I also know several female triathletes in the 60 year old range. But yes - they are all married.

Strangley their spouses are more cheerleaders at thier events and not participants!
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Old 09-17-2019, 07:23 PM
 
3,280 posts, read 883,557 times
Reputation: 1877
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
I think your main problem is that most age-appropriate available women are done with dating and men. That's not "all" age appropriate women, but most. So, I think your available pool is just seriously diminished compared to when you were younger.

At our age - I'm in my early 60's and female - for myself and many other women I know my age - we just are really tired of taking care of other people. And, men in our age range are of a generation (and I'm not convinced young men have changed much either) where they expect women to take care of them.

Now, men our age will not think of things that way. They will think in terms of the fact that they may pick up the check or they mow the lawn or do handyman stuff. But, the cost or time involved in doing those things in ZERO ways equates what they expect from a woman.

Men ask me why I don't have a boyfriend/husband. I tell them because when I have a man, I have a lot more work - that men are a lot of work.

A man will expect me to cook, clean, do laundry, be available for sex, stay thin, be attractive, watch sports I don't care about, entertain his friends and kids and family, on and on.

But, in my experience, and I bet you're thinking this right now, men honestly and adamantly see my point of view as being wrong.

But, having a man in my life never made my life easier.

I know that some women are good at finding men who will take care of them on a level where it involves maids and drivers and nannies, etc. Unless a man is taking care of a woman on that level, then in my experience, he creates more work than he contributes.

Don't get me wrong, I like men. I just don't want a boyfriend/husband.

Without one, I can do what I want, when I want. I can eat what I want and as much as I want. I can watch what I want on TV, I can sleep in peace without being bugged. And nobody is making me feel bad about myself based on my weight, etc.

I'm just much, much happier staying single - and unavailable.

And, this is how many women my age feel. So, it's nothing personal. It's just that we finally feel like we're in control of our own lives.

And as far as sex goes, we can take care of that ourselves, too. And older men require more effort, etc., because of age issues. So, there usually isn't much there in the way of sex to make women want a man, either - it's usually more work than it's worth. So, like I say, overall, having a man in our age group usually means more work. One way or another.

I wish I could just beam someone down who would accompany me to shows or musical events, etc., but realistically, what are the odds I'd find a man who would want to go to the same things I'd want to go to - and - not also want me to go to something I'd abhor?

The bottom line is, even though I have moments of loneliness, I'm so much happier alone than I was when I had a man.

Anyway, I guess I'd just advise you to be wary of available women. If they aren't like me, they might be needy or want your money. There will definitely be the exception. But, just so you understand how and why the majority of women in our age group thinks, might help you just take the time to evaluate why any particular woman is available in your age group and approaching you or making herself available. She might really just be like you and someone who wants a relationship. Or, she might just be needy or want your money. Just be cautious, I guess is what I'm saying, as well as making you aware of where women are at our age.
Lot's of truth here. Years ago I fell hard for someone who was just divorced, with custody of two young kids. Then I was willing be the subordinate letting his take on life be the primary. This, in large part, because he himself was putting his kids first. Flash forward a few decades to now. Him a widower after a happy second marriage with the kids now long since grown. Still a wonderful man, many shared memories, common friends, overlapping interests. Plenty of money, good health. Pretty much the whole package. Should we spend the rest of our lives together as a committed couple? In the end, I said no.

The reason? Even though it would come with kindness and loyalty, there remained this subtle expectation to fit into his life. Maybe younger women dazzled by mutual emotion are more likely to go along. Older women may better grasp that caring or even love is only part of the package. With less time left, it's simply harder to "donate" that time. Few couples are matched twins - in interests, needs and so on. The compromises that younger couples work out - in order to build a life together - take on a whole different dynamic at a different stage of life.
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Old 09-17-2019, 07:39 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
32,685 posts, read 37,284,397 times
Reputation: 39743
Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
I think we are seeing the reason older men go for younger women
Truth - You said what I was thinking. many women here say it's not worth the effort.

For them, it's probably not.
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Old 09-17-2019, 07:52 PM
 
5,322 posts, read 2,595,833 times
Reputation: 4918
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
Truth - You said what I was thinking. many women here say it's not worth the effort.

For them, it's probably not.
Retired men / women should be open to relationships with people within 10+ years of age. Personally, I prefer someone who can afford to look after themselves, I don't care how old they are.

When we were small, we wanted to be older, when we were old, be wanted to be younger. In between, it didn't matter.
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Old 09-17-2019, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
24,550 posts, read 18,276,350 times
Reputation: 28845
If I was well to do, I'd pursue younger women who are intelligent. That could be a two-way street.
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Old 09-17-2019, 09:28 PM
 
6,654 posts, read 5,306,899 times
Reputation: 13786
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
If I was well to do, I'd pursue younger women who are intelligent. That could be a two-way street.
So it would not bother you that someone is just there with you for your money?

Really i should know the answer to this. I worked and traveled with nothing but men for many years. Sheesh guys -
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Old 09-17-2019, 09:35 PM
 
5,322 posts, read 2,595,833 times
Reputation: 4918
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
If I was well to do, I'd pursue younger women who are intelligent. That could be a two-way street.
Intelligent women prefer men who are intelligent, financial security is more important than age.
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Old 09-17-2019, 11:31 PM
 
Location: California
1,765 posts, read 510,751 times
Reputation: 3201
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2011KTM530 View Post
I seriously donít know. Iíve looked at dating sites but there are no women like me or even close to where I live. Iím not like others my age, Iím 59. Iím into living a healthy lifestyle, I donít own a TV, I listen to alternative rock music, ride dirt bikes, mountain bike, ect. There are NO unicorns my age, none. Women my ďageĒ tend to be sedentary and just want to eat. No thanks.
Most of the guys my age look like they could be my dad and are one step away from a nursing home. Iím in my 50ís also. Not a large pool to choose from.
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Old 09-17-2019, 11:55 PM
 
Location: California
1,765 posts, read 510,751 times
Reputation: 3201
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
I think your main problem is that most age-appropriate available women are done with dating and men. That's not "all" age appropriate women, but most. So, I think your available pool is just seriously diminished compared to when you were younger.

At our age - I'm in my early 60's and female - for myself and many other women I know my age - we just are really tired of taking care of other people. And, men in our age range are of a generation (and I'm not convinced young men have changed much either) where they expect women to take care of them.

Now, men our age will not think of things that way. They will think in terms of the fact that they may pick up the check or they mow the lawn or do handyman stuff. But, the cost or time involved in doing those things in ZERO ways equates what they expect from a woman.

Men ask me why I don't have a boyfriend/husband. I tell them because when I have a man, I have a lot more work - that men are a lot of work.

A man will expect me to cook, clean, do laundry, be available for sex, stay thin, be attractive, watch sports I don't care about, entertain his friends and kids and family, on and on.

But, in my experience, and I bet you're thinking this right now, men honestly and adamantly see my point of view as being wrong.

But, having a man in my life never made my life easier.

I know that some women are good at finding men who will take care of them on a level where it involves maids and drivers and nannies, etc. Unless a man is taking care of a woman on that level, then in my experience, he creates more work than he contributes.

Don't get me wrong, I like men. I just don't want a boyfriend/husband.

Without one, I can do what I want, when I want. I can eat what I want and as much as I want. I can watch what I want on TV, I can sleep in peace without being bugged. And nobody is making me feel bad about myself based on my weight, etc.

I'm just much, much happier staying single - and unavailable.

And, this is how many women my age feel. So, it's nothing personal. It's just that we finally feel like we're in control of our own lives.

And as far as sex goes, we can take care of that ourselves, too. And older men require more effort, etc., because of age issues. So, there usually isn't much there in the way of sex to make women want a man, either - it's usually more work than it's worth. So, like I say, overall, having a man in our age group usually means more work. One way or another.

I wish I could just beam someone down who would accompany me to shows or musical events, etc., but realistically, what are the odds I'd find a man who would want to go to the same things I'd want to go to - and - not also want me to go to something I'd abhor?

The bottom line is, even though I have moments of loneliness, I'm so much happier alone than I was when I had a man.

Anyway, I guess I'd just advise you to be wary of available women. If they aren't like me, they might be needy or want your money. There will definitely be the exception. But, just so you understand how and why the majority of women in our age group thinks, might help you just take the time to evaluate why any particular woman is available in your age group and approaching you or making herself available. She might really just be like you and someone who wants a relationship. Or, she might just be needy or want your money. Just be cautious, I guess is what I'm saying, as well as making you aware of where women are at our age.
Accurate perception. Iím open to something if it happens but am perfectly capable of being alone as well. The men I meet here and there usually want a woman in her twenties or early thirties, or theyíre 10-15 years older than me and are looking for a caregiver. Canít seem to meet anyone in between.
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