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For single older men - still working or retired - where do you go to meet single age appropriate women? I'm 60 and I don't think I would have anything in common with a person less than 50. And that is pushing it. I am thinking the 55-65 age range. The dating sites are no good in my opinion. The women there seem to have lots of men write them and it is difficult to find any kind of connection. Do you take classes, go to church, what? I always read these stories about single older women wanting companionship but I don't see it. Or I am looking in the wrong place.
I seriously don’t know. I’ve looked at dating sites but there are no women like me or even close to where I live. I’m not like others my age, I’m 59. I’m into living a healthy lifestyle, I don’t own a TV, I listen to alternative rock music, ride dirt bikes, mountain bike, ect. There are NO unicorns my age, none. Women my “age” tend to be sedentary and just want to eat. No thanks.
The dating sites are no good in my opinion. The women there seem to ...
I always read these stories about single older women wanting companionship but I don't see it.
The women will tend to misuse the OLD resources as much as the men do.
#1 on that list is calling those messaging exercises 'dating'.
What the OLD venues are good for though is identifying a pool of people near you...
who at least say they have some sort of interest in something. Look for interests that align or intrigue.
The job is to get them to sign off and actually meet TODAY and not waste time or effort on them otherwise.
Next up is to avoid spending more than token money on anyone too soon.
Quote:
...where do you go to meet single age appropriate women?
The last three women I dated were introduced to me through an OLD contact.
What the OLD venues are good for though is identifying a pool of people near you...
who at least say they have some sort of interest in something. Look for interests that align or intrigue.
The last three women I dated were introduced to me through an OLD contact.
This is decent advice, but I feel the OP's pain. The times I've looked at (without signing up) online dating sites, it just seems more depressing and almost like it would be a second job. I tend to tell myself that being alone beats the hell out of the alternative of being with someone who's not the right person. I think getting out and doing the things you like is the best course of action, but not necessarily with the intent of meeting someone; rather, just enjoying those things and if you meet someone great.
Someone mentioned age---I think there's a misconception that "older" men prefer "younger" women, and I vehemently disagree. I want someone my own age, with similar interests, that I can connect with.
Last edited by volosong; 09-16-2019 at 09:08 AM..
Reason: fixed close quote hypertag
If a woman is allowed in here, I wanted to say it makes me glad to see that men realize that they wouldn't have much in common with a much younger woman. Being close to the same age makes a lot of difference.
I live in a complex for seniors and let's see, how did the men meet their women? One 90 yr old met his "lady friend", as he calls her, in a hot tub at the fitness club. Women usually like to use the pool area more than the area that has all the machines. LOTS of senior women go to pools at fitness centers for exercise.
Another man met his because they both live here and he would see her walking her dog.
Another senior couple I know met at church because they both ended up on the same committee for the food pantry.
Another senior women did meet a man on a dating site. They had trouble because he really kept insisting that he wanted a younger women--she's in her 70s, he's in his 60s-- and she's the best thing that ever happened to him! The younger ones didn't want what he wants, a woman for companionship, day trips, eat out, watch football on tv.
Good luck, men. I truly recommend the fitness center--I go to one and it's easy to meet people there--especially in the pool or the hot tub.
I'm 60 year old married lady, but I wanted to address your question OP. If I were single again, and some of my friends are, I would be looking for guys like yourself where I might do activities that I like to participate in...at the pickleball courts, at the golf clubhouse, maybe at a winery while doing a tasting, or poolside or at the bar and grill while traveling. If there are things like Meet-up where you live, or Learning Exchange activities like cooking classes, or trips to some historical site, museum, or other group activities in which you are genuinely, at least a little bit, interested those would be good also. Avoid pestering ladies who are out with a group of other ladies. That's not going to end well. Look for solos, or pairs. In the case of pairs, be friendly to both. You don't want to make the friend feel like you're horning in on them, and she might even be the better option, who knows.
Tips for attracting those ladies...
Be upbeat, friendly (but not touchy-feely), and humorous - we love someone who makes us laugh
Watch for the left ring finger - better be no diamonds there
Don't be pushy, if they act standoffish, just move on and don't get offended, they just aren't looking right now.
If you feel you've met someone who you might connect with, offer YOUR number, don't ask for hers. Women our age aren't looking to have to ghost a guy who won't quit calling. We weren't born yesterday, so we don't give out our number usually, we're just being cautious.
Keep things light and friendly on first meeting, and first "dates" offered should be something short and escapable, like meeting for coffee or a drink, or attending a short event like catching a music act at the park or something. The idea is that either of you may not be feeling it, and you don't want to be on an all-day cruise, or 4-5 hour golf game, or something where you're stuck together if it's not working out. And that way nobody will feel obligated to anything, or feel taken advantage of, by the purchase of an expensive meal.
Good luck guys, don't give up, there are eligible ladies who would like to meet you. They don't want to be your caregiver, or to be taken advantage of financially, so they will be on the lookout for red flags in those areas. If that's your game, fuggedaboutit...
For single older men - still working or retired - where do you go to meet single age appropriate women? I'm 60 and I don't think I would have anything in common with a person less than 50. And that is pushing it. I am thinking the 55-65 age range. The dating sites are no good in my opinion. The women there seem to have lots of men write them and it is difficult to find any kind of connection. Do you take classes, go to church, what? I always read these stories about single older women wanting companionship but I don't see it. Or I am looking in the wrong place.
First I would set your lower age limit to age 40. People over 40 rarely go to bars/clubs looking to meet someone. If going, out it is usually dinner and a drink but out of there by 9pm. They rarely go out alone so do not be afraid of approaching a table of 2 to 3 ladies that look interesting and seem to be having fun versus quiet and solemn. Drinks after work are common so go to cocktail bars about 5pm.
In grocery stores pay attention to her looks then her fingers (wedding band) then what she has in her cart. As a single person she will buy different then one buying for a family as do you.
I think dating sites can work. If a meeting is arranged, make it short so either can get out of it quickly. Coffee/drink after work where you can say, I am sorry I cannot stay longer. I have to whatever. Lunch, where you can say I am sorry but something came up at work this morning and I cannot stay long. Leave yourself an out.
Good advice, in_newEngland and TheShadow. The challenge - after reading johngolf's post, to most men is that it's very very difficult to express interest without sounding like a creep, or as johngolf says, going "hunting". Better off just to smile or make an appropriate comment to the situation --- e.g. if you notice an interesting lady in the pool and see her later, say "how was the swim?". Something like that. Better yet, try being outgoing to everyone like that --- other men and other women. Then it will sound less creepy, at least when you talk.
As for the younger women --- I think this is where men get a lot of a bad rap because there are lots of us out there who don't want a woman 10 or 20 years younger than us. Me being one of them. I've dated younger women (once, and trust me that was enough), and the conversation was awful. That still matters to many of us. Lots of us (just like many women) who for whatever reason got dealt a bad hand, bad luck, whatever, and are single. However you slice it, the dating pool, or the trying to meet someone pool, sucks whether you are 30 or 50+.
I was pleasantly surprised with online dating, after my divorce... Had not been on a first date since the mid 80's, and did so in 2013. I used OKCupid, which at the time seemed to have a higher class feeling than others (Plenty of Fish). Took time to write a profile that was sincere, to the point of what I wanted, and portrayed who I really was. Posted accurate high quality photos, and waited to see what might happen.
I had read how many men struggled to receive any/many messages from women who viewed their profile, so was surprised by my results. I seemed well received by the community, had I believe as many dates as I wanted, talked and met with some interesting ladies, but of course you will be connected with some real Loony-Tunes as well. Generally it was fun, and felt worth the time invested. One thing that caught me off guard a few weeks ago was a check-out gal at a grocery store, asking for my number... At first I did not realize that she had, when she stated after I swiped my credit card:
"I'll just need you to sign here, and if your single to give me your number"
I caught on after a bit, and just chuckled. Reminds me of when my ex-wife would tell me I was 'flirt blind". When we were out, and even while she was seated right next to me, she told me women would flirt and I never noticed. Maybe it was my belief on 100% fidelity, and deep love of my wife and family that never allowed myself to ever go anywhere near there. Maybe too that regardless of who the person is, it's not right to hurt people when you know better. Ironic it was her who after 24 years of marriage, I came to discover she was very OK with a boyfriend on the side. I'm not against people making mistakes in life, but cold calculated, supremely selfish and cowardly family destroying CHOICES, get no pass from me for anyone.
Being very introverted always, has made life on my own blissful for the most part, yet of I still would like to have that innocent trust, no matter how seemingly naive with a special person. I do know however marriage is not ever going to be something I would ever enter into again (One gal really pushed it a few years back). My experience with divorce court, as well as ever having another person legally bound to me ended the marriage desire permanently. Good luck fellas.
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